学习— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Your answer is a bit long and slightly repetitive. Try to be more concise and directly answer the question first, then add relevant details. Avoid repeating phrases like 'I do consider myself as a student' and focus on clarity.

範例: I am currently a student who has just completed 12th grade. I am preparing to study abroad for my higher education and plan to enroll in a degree program soon.

建議: Your answer is incomplete and ends abruptly. Also, avoid using 'I do love' which sounds unnatural. Provide a complete answer with clear supporting details and use linking words to connect ideas.

範例: I studied at SPBHSS, a well-known school in Ramanathapura. It is located in the city center, so we had easy access to amenities like parks and shops, which made my school life enjoyable.

建議: Your answer is generally good but can be improved by avoiding repetition and using linking words for coherence. Also, use more precise vocabulary like 'support staff' instead of 'coworking staff'.

範例: Yes, I consider my school a good place to study because the teachers and support staff always motivated us to focus on our studies. Moreover, they encouraged participation in extracurricular activities, which helped us develop holistically.

建議: Your answer is incomplete and unclear towards the end. Try to complete your thoughts and avoid redundancy. Use linking words to explain why the canteen is important.

範例: Although my school is well known and good, I think it should have a canteen. This would be beneficial because sometimes students feel hungry during breaks and having a canteen would provide convenient access to food.

建議: Your answer is somewhat repetitive and incomplete at the end. Try to avoid filler words like 'uh' and finish your sentences clearly. Use linking words to connect your ideas logically.

範例: I am preparing to study abroad for my higher education. I plan to pursue a bachelor's degree in Business Administration because it will help me build a career and possibly start my own business in the future.

× I would love to be a student as as time allows me.

✓ I would love to be a student as time allows me.

The phrase 'as as' is a repetition error. Removing the extra 'as' corrects the sentence. This is not a verb + -ing form error but a repetition mistake; however, since it does not fit other categories, it is corrected here for clarity.

× So I do love my school and my schooling because our school is located in the center of the city so that we have all the amenities like park and multiple shops so that we can.

✓ So I do love my school and my schooling because our school is located in the center of the city, so we have all the amenities like parks and multiple shops nearby.

The original sentence is incomplete and ends abruptly with 'so that we can.' The correction completes the sentence logically and improves clarity. Also, 'park' should be plural 'parks' to match 'amenities.'

× I do consider my school as a good place to study because we always had enough motivation and encouragement from our teachers and and coworking staff.

✓ I do consider my school a good place to study because we always had enough motivation and encouragement from our teachers and the co-working staff.

The phrase 'consider my school as' is incorrect; 'consider my school a good place' is correct. Also, 'coworking' should be 'co-working' or 'non-teaching' staff as per context. Added 'the' before 'co-working staff' for correctness.

× Like the non teaching staff who always motivated us to improve our studies and get more focus into our studies.

✓ The non-teaching staff always motivated us to improve our studies and focus more on them.

Starting a sentence with 'Like' is informal and incorrect here. Also, 'get more focus into our studies' is awkward; 'focus more on them' is better. 'Non teaching' should be hyphenated as 'non-teaching.'

× But they also do encourage us to have extracurricular activities.

✓ But they also encourage us to participate in extracurricular activities.

The phrase 'have extracurricular activities' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'participate in extracurricular activities.' Also, 'do encourage' is acceptable but 'encourage' is more natural here.

× But I do consider that my school also need to have a canteen, which is a good thing to have in a school because as sometimes kids may often feel.

✓ But I do consider that my school also needs to have a canteen, which is a good thing to have in a school because sometimes kids may often feel hungry.

The verb 'need' should be 'needs' to agree with singular subject 'my school.' The sentence is incomplete; added 'hungry' to complete the thought logically.

× Basically, I'm preparing for my future studies because I'm preparing for my high studies abroad and I'm planning to do a bachelor's degree in business so that I can build a career around it.

✓ Basically, I'm preparing for my future studies abroad and planning to do a bachelor's degree in business so that I can build a career around it.

The phrase 'preparing for my high studies abroad' is incorrect; it should be 'preparing for my higher studies abroad.' Also, 'because I'm preparing for my high studies abroad' is redundant with 'Basically, I'm preparing for my future studies.' Simplified for clarity.

× And I think that B, uh, I'm going for going to choose a bachelors in business administration because business administration helps me to build my own business or be a.

✓ I think that I am going to choose a bachelor's in business administration because it helps me to build my own business or be an entrepreneur.

The original sentence is fragmented and unclear. Removed filler words and completed the sentence logically. 'Bachelors' should be 'bachelor's.' Added 'entrepreneur' to complete the thought.