学习— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Try to use correct grammar and clearer sentence structure. For example, say 'I am a student. I recently completed my 12th standard from a senior secondary school with flying colours, and currently, I am pursuing a Bachelor of Commerce degree.' This will make your answer more natural and effective.

範例: I am a student. I recently completed my 12th standard from a senior secondary school with flying colours, and currently, I am pursuing a Bachelor of Commerce degree.

建議: Focus on clarity and correct word usage. Use linking words to connect ideas logically. For example, say 'I completed my schooling last year and now I am studying at Apple Culture College in Jalandhar. I chose this college because it offers many career opportunities, especially in finance and business, which I am very interested in.'

範例: I completed my schooling last year and now I am studying at Apple Culture College in Jalandhar. I chose this college because it offers many career opportunities, especially in finance and business, which I am very interested in.

建議: Improve sentence structure and vocabulary. Use linking words for coherence. For example, say 'Yes, it is a good place to study. Firstly, the teachers are very polite and approachable. Moreover, the college offers various career opportunities, especially in finance and business. Therefore, I believe it is an excellent place for education.'

範例: Yes, it is a good place to study. Firstly, the teachers are very polite and approachable. Moreover, the college offers various career opportunities, especially in finance and business. Therefore, I believe it is an excellent place for education.

建議: Work on grammar and clarity. Use linking words to explain reasons. For example, say 'Honestly, there are some changes I would like to see. For instance, the infrastructure of the playground and some classrooms needs improvement because sometimes there is a huge crowd, which negatively affects both students and teachers.'

範例: Honestly, there are some changes I would like to see. For instance, the infrastructure of the playground and some classrooms needs improvement because sometimes there is a huge crowd, which negatively affects both students and teachers.

建議: Make your answer more fluent and structured. Use linking words and correct terms. For example, say 'Well, I plan to pursue higher education abroad. I am interested in becoming a Chartered Accountant, and I believe Canada offers excellent opportunities for this, which will be very beneficial for my career.'

範例: Well, I plan to pursue higher education abroad. I am interested in becoming a Chartered Accountant, and I believe Canada offers excellent opportunities for this, which will be very beneficial for my career.

× I'm student, I recently cleared my +2 standard from a senior scandal school with the flying colors and currently I am pursuing my Bachelors of Commerce.

✓ I'm a student, I recently cleared my +2 standard from a senior secondary school with flying colors and currently I am pursuing my Bachelor of Commerce.

The word 'student' is singular and needs the article 'a' before it. 'Senior scandal school' seems to be a mishearing or typo; it should be 'senior secondary school'. 'Bachelors of Commerce' should be 'Bachelor of Commerce' as it is a singular degree name. 'With the flying colors' should be 'with flying colors' as the phrase does not require 'the'.

× Last year I cleared Myers can do school and currently am starting in early Apple Culture college which is located in Jalandhar and there are very career opportunities and apart from this am very keen interested in finance and business so that's why I choose this college.

✓ Last year I cleared my matriculation and currently I am studying at Apple Culture College which is located in Jalandhar. There are many career opportunities and apart from this, I am very keenly interested in finance and business, so that's why I chose this college.

'Cleared Myers can do school' is unclear and likely meant 'cleared my matriculation'. 'Currently am starting in early Apple Culture college' is incorrect; it should be 'currently I am studying at Apple Culture College'. 'There are very career opportunities' should be 'there are many career opportunities' to correct quantifier usage. 'Am very keen interested' should be 'am very keenly interested' to use the correct adverb. 'I choose' should be past tense 'I chose' to match the past action.

× Of course it is better place to study. First of all the all teachers are very good in behavior an introduce themselves in cherishing way.

✓ Of course, it is a better place to study. First of all, all the teachers have very good behavior and introduce themselves in a charming way.

'Better place' needs the article 'a' before it. 'The all teachers' should be 'all the teachers'. 'Very good in behavior' is better expressed as 'have very good behavior'. 'Cherishing way' is incorrect; the correct adjective is 'charming'.

× Apart from this there are a various career opportunities especially in finance and business. So yes definitely it is good place for study.

✓ Apart from this, there are various career opportunities especially in finance and business. So yes, definitely it is a good place for study.

'A various' is incorrect; 'various' is plural and does not take 'a'. 'Good place' needs the article 'a' before it.

× Honestly speaking the place where I studied there are certain things which I would like to change.

✓ Honestly speaking, the place where I studied has certain things which I would like to change.

'The place' is singular, so 'there are' is incorrect; it should be 'has' to agree with the singular subject.

× For instance the infrastructure of a ground and some classes I would like to change becaused sometimes there is a huge rush are contain which is bad impact on students as well As for teachers.

✓ For instance, the infrastructure of the ground and some classrooms I would like to change because sometimes there is a huge rush or crowd which has a bad impact on students as well as on teachers.

'Becaused' is incorrect; it should be 'because'. 'Are contain' is incorrect; likely meant 'or crowd'. 'Bad impact on' should be 'has a bad impact on'. 'As for teachers' should be 'as well as on teachers' for clarity.

× Well, I prefer will, I prefer to move abroad from a higher education and I am looking for, you see it charted accounted and I think that in Canada it is very wonderful which gives me very good opportunity as well as beneficial for me.

✓ Well, I prefer to move abroad for higher education and I am looking to become a Chartered Accountant. I think that Canada is a wonderful place which will give me very good opportunities and will be beneficial for me.

'I prefer will' is incorrect; modal verb 'will' is not used with 'prefer'. 'From a higher education' should be 'for higher education'. 'You see it charted accounted' is unclear and corrected to 'to become a Chartered Accountant'. 'Very good opportunity' should be plural 'opportunities'. 'As well as beneficial for me' should be 'and will be beneficial for me' to complete the sentence properly.