视图— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 문법과 발음 오류를 교정하고 문장의 논리 흐름을 명확히 해야 합니다. 먼저 중복되는 단어(예: "I'm I")와 잘못된 단어(예: "bills" → "hills" 또는 "buildings" 등 맥락에 맞는 단어)를 바로잡으세요. 답변은 주제문으로 시작하고, 이어서 이유와 구체적 예시를 한두 문장으로 덧붙이는 구조(최대 5문장)를 사용하세요. 또한 연결어(for example, because, so 등)를 사용해 문장 간 논리를 매끄럽게 하십시오. 어휘는 scenery, landscape, nature, trees, architecture 등 상황에 맞는 단어를 선택하세요.

範例: Yes, I enjoy taking pictures of different views because I love capturing natural scenery. For example, I often photograph hills and forests when I visit parks, since the trees and light make the scenes very picturesque. Taking photos helps me remember beautiful places and relax.

建議: 문장 연결과 문법(구두점, 문장 분리)을 다듬고 이유를 구체적으로 설명하세요. 'In fact' 같은 표현은 자주 쓰지 않아도 되며 대신 'I prefer urban views'로 명확히 시작하세요. 이유를 설명할 때는 구체적 비교(예: convenience, lighting, architecture)와 연결어(because, although 등)를 사용해 논리적 흐름을 만드세요. 발음에서 문장 끝의 멈춤을 줄이고 자연스럽게 이어 말하는 연습을 하세요.

範例: I prefer urban views because I have always lived in big cities like Seoul and I enjoy the vibrant atmosphere. For instance, I like photographing modern architecture and busy streets, which feel lively and dynamic compared to quiet countryside scenes.

建議: 의견을 말할 때 지나치게 부정적인 표현을 피하고 근거를 구체적으로 제시하세요. 'Let me think' 같은 말은 짧게 하고, 주제문 이후에는 이유와 예시를 한두 문장으로 정리하세요. 'not that much beautiful' 대신 'less varied'나 'more urbanized' 등 정확한 표현을 사용하고, 비교할 때는 구체적 요소(landscapes, historical sites, countryside)로 설명하세요. 문법적으로 'in here' 대신 'here'나 'in my country'를 사용하세요.

範例: I tend to prefer views in other countries because they often offer more varied landscapes. For example, when I travel abroad I enjoy seeing wide open countryside, historic countryside villages, and natural coastlines that are less common in densely populated Korea.

× Actually I'm I like taking picture of bills because I like to see the scenery and go to somewhere has a beautiful nature or many trees.

✓ Actually, I like taking pictures of hills because I like to see scenery and go to places that have beautiful nature or many trees.

Multiple issues: 1) Singular and plural: 'taking picture' should be 'taking pictures' and 'bills' is likely a misspelling of 'hills' or incorrect word; if intended 'hills', use plural. 2) Sentence structure: remove the extra 'I'm I' — keep only 'I'. 3) Article and noun use: 'the scenery' can be 'scenery' without article; 'go to somewhere has' is ungrammatical — use 'go to places that have' or 'go somewhere that has'. 4) Relative clause: use 'that have' to modify 'places'. Suggestion: simplify and use correct nouns and relative clauses. Suggestions for improvement: Read sentences aloud to spot duplicated words like 'I'm I', check noun forms (singular/plural), and practice forming relative clauses with 'that' or 'which' and correct verb agreement.

× In fact, I prefer views in urban areas because I always live in big cities like Seoul, so it is more. Peaceful to me.

✓ In fact, I prefer views in urban areas because I always live in big cities like Seoul, so they are more peaceful to me.

Issues: 1) Sentence was split incorrectly by a period before 'Peaceful' — combine into one sentence. 2) Pronoun and subject-verb agreement: 'it is more peaceful' is wrong because 'views' is plural; use 'they are more peaceful'. 3) Word order: 'more peaceful to me' is acceptable but keep it together. Suggestion: Ensure punctuation does not break sentence meaning, match pronoun number to noun, and keep adjective and adverb placement together.

× Let me think about it, I prefer other countries views because our country's view is not that much beautiful because Korea is so small and so many buildings in here.

✓ Let me think about it. I prefer views in other countries because our country's views are not that beautiful; Korea is small and there are many buildings here.

Issues: 1) Punctuation and sentence structure: use a period to separate 'Let me think about it' from the main sentence. 2) Preposition/possessive: 'other countries views' needs a preposition or possessive — use 'views in other countries' or 'other countries' views'. 3) Singular/plural: 'our country's view' should be 'views' to match general meaning; 'not that much beautiful' is unidiomatic — use 'not that beautiful' or 'not very beautiful'. 4) Word order and grammar: 'so many buildings in here' should be 'there are many buildings here'. Suggestion: Break ideas into clear sentences, use correct prepositions for possession, and use 'there are' for existence of plural nouns.