视图— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct grammar; start with a clear topic sentence, then give one specific supporting detail with a linking phrase. Avoid redundancy (e.g., “keep the memories alive” and “look back” overlap). Also fix tense and article errors and improve word choice (e.g., “at events” not “in event occasion”).

範例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views because it helps me preserve memories. For example, when I photograph family events, I can look back at those images years later and share them with relatives, which brings us closer.

建議: Begin with a clear topic sentence and correct grammar (subject–verb agreement, word forms). Use one or two specific reasons linked with cohesive words (e.g., “because,” “so”) and avoid repeating the same idea. Provide concrete examples of what you find relaxing.

範例: I prefer rural views because they let me connect with nature and unwind. For instance, walking among rice fields and listening to birds reduces my stress and clears my mind, so I feel more peaceful afterward.

建議: Answer directly then give two brief, specific examples using correct grammar and parallel structure. Use linking phrases like “for example” and ensure noun–verb agreement (e.g., “Kelantan has”). Mention why those places appeal to you to add personal perspective.

範例: I prefer views in my own country because Malaysia offers diverse cultures and landscapes. For example, Malacca has historic architecture and museums, while Kedah’s rural areas provide peaceful countryside scenery, and Kelantan is known for its distinctive cuisine and cultural traditions.

× Yes, I do like taking pictures of different views because I believe it was a way to keep the memories alive.

✓ Yes, I do like taking pictures of different views because I believe it is a way to keep memories alive.

The student used past tense 'was' but the idea is general and ongoing, so present tense 'is' is required. Also 'the memories' is unnecessary; 'memories' is more natural. Suggestion: use present tense for general truths and avoid unnecessary definite article.

× For example, if I take pictures in event occasion I in the future I can look back for this photo or maybe I can share it with my family and friends.

✓ For example, if I take pictures at events, in the future I can look back at these photos or share them with my family and friends.

Original sentence is ungrammatical and wordy. Use the preposition 'at' for events and plural 'events' and 'photos'. 'In the future' should be separated by commas. Use 'look back at' not 'look back for'. Replace 'this photo' with 'these photos' and avoid repeating 'maybe I can' by using 'or'. Suggestion: break long ideas into clear clauses and use correct prepositions and plural nouns.

× I prefer rural areas views because it provide you the excitement in nature.

✓ I prefer rural views because they provide the excitement of nature.

Pronoun agreement and word order issues: 'rural areas views' is incorrect; 'rural views' or 'views in rural areas' is better. 'It provide' mismatches number; 'they provide' agrees with plural 'views'. 'The excitement in nature' is awkward; use 'the excitement of nature'. Suggestion: ensure noun phrases are properly formed and verbs agree with their subjects.

× By doing this it will relax in your mind and also give you a sense of relaxation and what happening in your current world.

✓ Doing this relaxes your mind and gives you a sense of calm and awareness of what is happening in your world.

Awkward phrasing and tense errors: 'By doing this it will relax in your mind' should be active present 'Doing this relaxes your mind'. 'Give you a sense of relaxation' is repetitive; 'a sense of calm' is clearer. 'What happening' lacks auxiliary verb; use 'what is happening'. Also 'current world' is odd; 'your world' suffices. Suggestion: use active present tense for general effects and include necessary auxiliary verbs.

× I prefer my own country views because I believe Malaysia can offer you a variety of cultures and many unique places.

✓ I prefer views in my own country because I believe Malaysia can offer a variety of cultures and many unique places.

'My own country views' is awkward; use 'views in my own country'. The personal 'you' is unnecessary in this general statement; omit it to maintain neutrality. Suggestion: choose natural noun phrases and avoid inserting 'you' unless addressing the listener directly.

× For example, Malacca is rich in history, Kedah can provide you a countryside experience and Kelantan have many unique cuisine and also diversity.

✓ For example, Malacca is rich in history, Kedah can provide a countryside experience, and Kelantan has many unique cuisines and cultural diversity.

Multiple issues: 'Kelantan have' is subject-verb disagreement; 'Kelantan has' is correct. 'Many unique cuisine' mixes plural quantifier with singular noun; use 'many unique cuisines' or 'unique cuisine'. 'Also diversity' is vague; specify 'cultural diversity'. Also insert commas and 'and' for proper coordination. Suggestion: ensure verbs agree with their subjects, match quantifiers to noun number, and use clear nouns for 'diversity'.