视图— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Make the response more concise and natural by removing redundancy and using clearer linking. Include one specific example to make it more vivid. Keep to 3–4 sentences max.

範例: Yes, I enjoy photographing natural scenes such as green fields, rural villages and the seaside. I don't visit these places often, but when I do I take many photos to capture the calm atmosphere and fresh air. For example, last summer I photographed a quiet village at dawn and the soft light made the scene feel peaceful.

建議: Organise the answer with a clear topic sentence, one or two supporting details, and use linking words correctly. Avoid repetition (e.g., "natural views") and fix grammar (e.g., "closer to nature"). Add a brief personal example or reason.

範例: I prefer rural views because they are calmer and closer to nature. For example, when I dip my feet in a river and look at the surrounding greenery, I feel relaxed and forget my daily worries. Therefore, rural scenes help me recharge more than busy city views.

建議: Clarify your main point and avoid irrelevant or incorrect statements about government. Focus on scenic reasons or personal goals. Correct grammar and repetition, and limit to 2–3 clear sentences with one specific reason.

範例: I prefer views in other countries, especially the United States, because I find the landscapes and cultural variety exciting. I hope to study there and experience different natural settings, such as national parks and coastal areas, which I think will inspire my photography and future career.

× I love photographing natural scenes like greenery, rural villages, seaside, but I don't visit those places very often.

✓ I love photographing natural scenes like greenery, rural villages, and the seaside, but I don't visit those places very often.

Missing conjunction and article: add 'and' between items in a list for clarity and use the definite article 'the' before 'seaside' when referring to that specific type of place. Also include commas to separate list items. Suggestion: Use 'and' to connect the final list item and use 'the' before 'seaside' when speaking generally about the shore.

× But whenever I go, I take a lot of pictures because the calm atmosphere and environment and fresh air bring joy to my heart.

✓ But whenever I go, I take a lot of pictures because the calm atmosphere, the environment, and the fresh air bring joy to my heart.

Article consistency and parallelism: when listing multiple nouns that are distinct, repeat 'the' for clarity and separate items with commas. This improves rhythm and makes each noun equally emphasized. Suggestion: Use 'the' before each noun in a parallel list or rephrase to 'the calm atmosphere, environment, and fresh air' if they are treated as a single group.

× I prefer rural views because they offer the natural views which create a calm and refreshing environment and rural views are more relaxing and closer to the nature.

✓ I prefer rural views because they offer natural scenery that creates a calm and refreshing environment, and rural views are more relaxing and closer to nature.

Article and word choice: 'the natural views' is unnecessary; use 'natural scenery' or 'natural views' without 'the'. 'Closer to the nature' should be 'closer to nature' because 'nature' is an abstract noun and does not need the definite article here. Also improve cohesion by replacing 'which' with 'that' or rephrasing. Suggestion: Use 'closer to nature' and avoid redundant articles before abstract nouns.

× And when I put my feet into the water and look at the greenery, I just want to get lost into the nature rather back to the home because it gave me a deep sense.

✓ And when I put my feet in the water and look at the greenery, I just want to get lost in nature rather than go back home because it gives me a deep sense of peace.

Preposition and comparative structure: use 'in the water' or better 'in water' — 'in the water' is fine here. Use 'get lost in nature' (not 'into the nature'). Use 'rather than go back home' for correct comparative structure. Tense agreement: 'it gave me' should be 'it gives me' to match present habitual meaning. 'Deep sense' is vague; 'deep sense of peace' is clearer. Suggestion: Use 'get lost in nature', 'rather than go back home', and keep present tense for habitual feelings.

× I prefer the views in other countries, especially in the United States because it's my dream to be there.

✓ I prefer the views in other countries, especially in the United States, because it is my dream to be there.

Punctuation and contraction consistency: add a comma before 'because' for clarity. Replace contraction 'it's' with 'it is' if more formal style is desired; otherwise keep contraction. No major grammar error beyond punctuation. Suggestion: Add a comma after 'United States' and keep tense consistent.

× I want to go there for the study because I love that their government support the citizens and and give the reward for their hard work.

✓ I want to go there to study because I love that their government supports its citizens and gives rewards for their hard work.

Tense and subject-verb agreement: use 'to study' (not 'for the study') to express purpose. 'Government' is singular, so verbs should be 'supports' and 'gives'. Pronoun agreement: use 'its citizens' when referring to a government. Word choice: 'give the reward' is awkward; 'gives rewards' or 'rewards' is more natural. Also remove duplicated 'and'. Suggestion: Use 'to study', ensure verbs agree with singular 'government', and use 'its citizens' and plural 'rewards' for natural phrasing.

× And I want to settle my future there and the environment is very attractive to me.

✓ And I want to settle my future there because the environment is very attractive to me.

Sentence linkage and cohesion: connect the two independent clauses with 'because' to show reason. Tense is acceptable, but adding 'because' clarifies the relationship. Alternatively, 'The environment there is very attractive to me, so I want to settle my future there.' is also acceptable. Suggestion: Use a conjunction like 'because' or reorder the clauses for clarity.