视图— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and fluent. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers and repetition, and add one specific reason or brief example. Use linking words like because or so to connect ideas. Keep it under five sentences.

範例: I don’t usually take photos of views because I prefer enjoying the scenery with my own eyes. For example, when I visit the coast I focus on the sound of waves and the colors of the sky, so I find photos distracting.

建議: Give a clear topic sentence and a specific supporting detail. Reduce hesitation and correct grammar (e.g., I was raised in an urban area; I haven’t had many chances to see rural areas). Use one linking phrase such as because or since.

範例: I prefer urban views because I grew up in a city and feel more familiar with its sights. For instance, I enjoy the skyline and busy streets, while I haven’t had many opportunities to explore rural landscapes.

建議: Avoid vague or negative wording like 'complicated' or 'not aesthetically pleasing.' Provide a polite, specific reason and correct grammar (e.g., 'scenery is not as attractive' and 'much better' → 'more attractive'). Use a linking word such as because and give one short example.

範例: I prefer views in other countries because I find their landscapes more varied and scenic. For example, when I traveled to Switzerland, the mountains and lakes were much more dramatic than the places I usually see at home.

× I think, uh, me personally, I don't really TA like taking pictures because, you know, I've more into like enjoying the scenery instead of like taking, uh, any photography because I believe like, you know, photography is really, uh, interesting type of hobby, but uh, me personally, I really like to capture it with my own eyes instead of.

✓ I think, personally, I don't really like taking pictures because I'm more into enjoying the scenery instead of doing photography. I believe photography is an interesting hobby, but I prefer to capture it with my own eyes.

The student used incorrect pronouns and redundant phrasing (e.g., 'me personally', 'I've more into', 'any photography', 'with my own eyes instead of.'). Use subject pronouns and correct verb forms: 'I' not 'me' as subject; 'I'm more into' rather than 'I've more into'; 'doing photography' or just 'photography' after 'instead of'; avoid trailing 'instead of.' Also remove filler words ('like', 'you know') for clarity. Suggest practicing subject pronouns and common collocations like 'be into' and 'do photography'. (Grammar problem type ID:12)

× I actually prefer the scenery in the urban areas because, you know, I've been raised in the urban area itself inside of the rural areas because, you know, I've, I've never get the chance to like really, uh, seeing the side of the rural areas.

✓ I actually prefer the scenery in urban areas because I was raised in an urban area and I never got the chance to really see the rural areas.

Errors include incorrect use of present perfect 'I've been raised' when simple past 'I was raised' is more natural here, and incorrect verb form 'never get' instead of past 'never got'. Also redundant and awkward phrases ('inside of the rural areas'). Use 'urban areas' (plural) and 'see the rural areas'. Practice choosing past simple for completed past events and matching verb tense forms. (Grammar problem type ID:5)

× So me personally, I choose urban areas.

✓ So personally, I choose urban areas.

The phrase 'me personally' is incorrect: use subject pronoun 'I' or adverb 'personally'. 'So personally, I choose urban areas' is concise and correct. Also 'choose' is fine as a present preference. Avoid redundant pronouns. (Grammar problem type ID:22)

× I prefer the views in the other countries.

✓ I prefer the views in other countries.

The phrase 'in the other countries' uses an unnecessary definite article 'the'. Use 'in other countries' to express preference generally. Remove 'the' before plural countries when speaking generally. (Grammar problem type ID:11)

× I think because in my own country, the fuse, the scenery, it's kind of like, you know, complicated, don't really aesthetically pleasing to the eyes.

✓ I think that in my own country the scenery is somewhat complicated and not very aesthetically pleasing.

This sentence has sentence structure problems and extra filler words. 'The fuse' seems wrong or misused and should be removed. Use 'I think that' to introduce opinion, then the subject 'the scenery' and verb 'is'. Use 'not very aesthetically pleasing' rather than the ungrammatical 'don't really aesthetically pleasing'. Practice forming clear subject-verb-adjective structures and avoid fillers. (Grammar problem type ID:26)

× So yeah, definitely the other countries scenery, it's much more better.

✓ So yeah, definitely the scenery in other countries is much better.

'Much more better' is incorrect because 'better' is already the comparative form; do not add 'more'. Also fix word order: 'the scenery in other countries' or 'scenery in other countries'. Remove redundant 'it's'. Practice comparative structures: 'better', 'much better', not 'more better'. (Grammar problem type ID:25)