视图— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Improve accuracy, clarity and coherence. Begin with a clear topic sentence, avoid grammatical errors (e.g. ‘architectures’ -> ‘architecture’, ‘sands are natural scenery’ unclear), and keep supporting details specific and logical. Use linking words to connect ideas and limit to up to five sentences. Mention concrete examples of subjects and why you like them.

範例: Yes, I love taking pictures of different views because I work as a freelance photographer and travel often. I usually focus on architecture, close-up details, landscapes and street scenes, since each subject offers different challenges. For example, I enjoy capturing the contrast between modern buildings and historic facades in city centers, or the soft light over coastal dunes at sunrise. These varied scenes help me develop my portfolio and improve my skills.

建議: Work on grammar, vocabulary choice and coherence. Start with a clear preference sentence, then give two specific reasons with linking words. Correct mistakes (e.g. ‘it not only have me unwind’ -> ‘they help me unwind’; ‘reject my batteries’ unclear). Use precise verbs and phrases related to photography and relaxation.

範例: To be honest, I prefer countryside views to cityscapes because rural scenes help me relax after busy shoots. Moreover, mountains and forests offer peaceful atmospheres and natural lighting that are ideal for landscape photography. For instance, I enjoy hiking to a ridge at dawn where the early light creates dramatic shadows and colors.

建議: Clarify and correct grammar; avoid unnecessary phrases like ‘Make it specific.’ Begin with a direct topic sentence, then give two clear reasons linked with cohesive devices (because / moreover). Use accurate vocabulary (e.g. ‘familiar to me’, ‘frequent rain’). Provide a concise example of a place and why you prefer it.

範例: I prefer the scenery in my own country because it is both beautiful and familiar to me. Because I know the best spots and the seasonal light, I can plan shoots more effectively. For example, I often visit nearby mountain valleys that have dense forests and frequent misty rains, which create moody, atmospheric photographs.

× I usually focus on architectures, details, landscapes and streets.

✓ I usually focus on architecture, details, landscapes and streets.

'Architectures' is not commonly used in English to mean types or examples of buildings; the uncountable noun 'architecture' or the countable 'buildings' is appropriate. Use 'architecture' here to refer to building styles in general.

× Sands are natural scenery because each place had a unique light and character tailored.

✓ Sandy landscapes are natural scenery because each place has a unique light and character.

'Sands' is unnatural in this context; use 'sandy landscapes' or 'sand' depending on meaning. Also tense and subject agreement need fixing: 'each place has' (present) not 'had'. 'Character tailored' is incorrect; use 'a unique light and character'.

× it not only have me unwind when I see the view in the mountain in the forest, but also when I see them I can take a photos and reject my batteries.

✓ it not only helps me unwind when I see views in the mountains or forests, but also lets me take photos and recharge my batteries.

Multiple issues: subject-verb agreement ('it have' -> 'it helps'); articles and count nouns ('a photos' -> 'photos'); wrong verb 'reject' should be 'recharge'; plural consistency ('view' -> 'views', 'mountain' -> 'mountains' or 'the mountain' inconsistent). Revised to maintain meaning and correct verbs and nouns.

× I prefer countryside views rather than the city views because it not only have me unwind when I see the view in the mountain in the forest, but also when I see them I can take a photos and reject my batteries.

✓ I prefer countryside views rather than city views because they not only help me unwind when I see views in the mountains and forests, but also allow me to take photos and recharge my batteries.

Use plural 'city views' without 'the' for general preference. Pronoun agreement: 'they help' refers to 'views'. Present simple tense requires 'help' and 'allow'. Also corrected noun and verb forms as above.

× Make it specific. I prefer the scenery in my own country because it not only beautiful but also familiar with me.

✓ Be specific. I prefer the scenery in my own country because it is not only beautiful but also familiar to me.

Imperative improvement: 'Make it specific' is unnatural; 'Be specific' fits better. Missing verb 'is' after 'it'. 'Familiar with me' should be 'familiar to me'.

× For example that has many trees, mountains and lost rainy.

✓ For example, it has many trees, mountains and frequent rain.

Sentence fragment 'For example that has' needs a subject ('it has'). 'Lost rainy' is ungrammatical; likely intended 'frequent rain' or 'lots of rain' (count and adjective corrected). Added comma after 'For example'.

× So I enjoy visiting visiting there more than traveling abroad.

✓ So I enjoy visiting there more than traveling abroad.

Duplicate word 'visiting visiting' is a simple repetition error. Keep single 'visiting'. The sentence structure is then correct: 'visiting there' vs 'traveling abroad'.