视图— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and clear: start with a direct topic sentence, then give one specific supporting detail using linking words. Avoid unclear phrases and repetition. Also correct grammar and vocabulary (e.g., 'historic site' instead of 'story sites').

範例: Yes, I enjoy photographing different views. For example, on a recent trip to a historic resort with a zoo, we were allowed to take pictures only from the resort grounds, so I focused on capturing the distant animals and the resort landscape rather than close-ups.

建議: Begin with a clear preference sentence, then give a specific reason and one brief example. Avoid asking questions back to the examiner and correct unclear words ('Aguilar' unclear). Use linking words like 'because' or 'for example'.

範例: I prefer rural views because they are quieter and more relaxing. For example, I often enjoy photographing wide fields and small villages at sunset, which feel peaceful compared with busy city streets.

建議: Provide a clear topic sentence and one specific reason with an example. Avoid repetition and finish the sentence. Use more precise vocabulary ('amenities' may be okay but give concrete examples like 'architecture' or 'landscapes').

範例: I prefer views in other countries because I find their landscapes and architecture different and inspiring. For example, when I visited Japan, the combination of temples and modern buildings created striking photo opportunities that I don't often see at home.

× For example, when I went to this story sites where we were, it was more like a zoo.

✓ For example, when I went to this historic site where we stayed, it was more like a zoo.

The original sentence misuses 'story sites' and has awkward phrasing. 'Went to this story sites' is incorrect plural form and noun choice; use 'historic site' (singular) and 'where we stayed' to indicate location. Also ensure past tense consistency with 'went'. Improve vocabulary and noun agreement. Note: This correction addresses noun choice and plurality to match past tense context.

× When some resort zoo, we were told to take pictures at the resort but not at the zoo.

✓ At some resorts or zoos, we were told to take pictures at the resort but not inside the zoo.

The fragment 'When some resort zoo' is ungrammatical and unclear. Rewriting to 'At some resorts or zoos' clarifies the meaning. Also specify 'inside the zoo' to indicate restriction. Maintain past tense 'were told'. Ensure preposition 'inside' clarifies location.

× So we weren't able to get closer to the zoo so we were allowed to take pictures out there.

✓ So we weren't able to get closer to the zoo, but we were allowed to take pictures from outside.

The sentence uses 'so' twice and has contradictory connectors. Replace the second 'so' with 'but' to show contrast between being unable to get closer and being allowed to take pictures. 'Take pictures out there' is vague; 'from outside' is clearer. Maintain past tense.

× I really do like both the urban and the rural areas but the one that stands out for me is the rural areas because of the serene environment.

✓ I really do like both urban and rural areas, but the one that stands out for me is rural areas because of the serene environment.

Mixing 'the rural areas' with 'the one that stands out' causes pronoun and article mismatch. Better: remove 'the' before 'urban and rural areas' for general reference, and keep 'rural areas' consistent as the singular idea that stands out. Alternatively, use 'the rural area' if referring to a single concept. Maintain present simple for preferences.

× And how come the places that made me prefer the Aguilar areas more?

✓ And the places that made me prefer the rural areas more are the peaceful landscapes and fresh air.

The original is a question 'And how come...' that doesn't fit the context and contains 'Aguilar' which seems to be a mistake for 'rural'. Recast as a declarative sentence to answer why rural areas are preferred. Provide clear subject and verb. Maintain present simple to state preference.

× Yeah, I prefer views from the other countries 'cause I've seen it all in my countries.

✓ Yeah, I prefer views from other countries because I've seen most of them in my country.

Problems: 'the other countries' and 'my countries' are incorrect articles/number; use 'other countries' and 'my country' (assuming one country). 'I've seen it all' is exaggerated and mismatches plural 'views', so use 'most of them'. Maintain present perfect to indicate experience up to now and present simple 'prefer'.

× Not all, but I've seen most of the views in my countries and the views in other countries are also unique and it seems it seems special to me.

✓ Not all, but I've seen most of the views in my country, and the views in other countries are also unique and seem special to me.

Replace 'my countries' with 'my country' for coherence. Remove duplicate 'it seems' and change 'seem' to agree with plural 'views'. Keep present perfect 'I've seen' and present simple 'are'/'seem' for general statements.

× For example, the amenities they have in the other countries is very nice and.

✓ For example, the amenities they have in other countries are very nice.

Agreement error: plural 'amenities' requires verb 'are' not 'is'. Remove 'the' before 'other countries' for natural phrasing. The original ends abruptly with 'and.' Remove that and complete the sentence. Maintain present simple for a general statement.