视图— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct small errors. Start with a clear topic sentence, fix grammar (singular/plural, articles), avoid repetition and keep within 3–4 sentences. Add a linking word when giving reasons and a specific example to be more vivid.

範例: I don't usually take photos of every view; it depends on my mood. However, I sometimes take pictures to capture unusual scenery or memorable moments when I'm with friends. For instance, last month I photographed a striking sunset at the riverside because the colors were unlike anything I had seen.

建議: Correct word choice and grammar, and structure the answer: topic sentence, supporting details with linking words, and specific examples. Replace unclear phrases (e.g., 'among Arabs', 'own modern convenience') with accurate language like 'urban areas' and 'modern conveniences'. Limit to 3–4 sentences and use linking words (for example, moreover).

範例: I prefer views in urban areas because I grew up in the city and enjoy modern conveniences. For example, I like attractive buildings, aesthetic coffee shops and lively restaurants. Moreover, the cultural and social activities in cities make the scenery more interesting and varied.

建議: Clarify and correct grammar and vocabulary, avoid filler words (uh) and repetition. Start with a clear topic sentence saying you prefer views abroad, then give reasons with linking words and a concrete example. Fix collocations: 'experience different cultures', 'traveling abroad', 'broaden my horizons'.

範例: I prefer views in other countries because I enjoy experiencing different cultures. When I travel abroad, I meet people with different lifestyles and observe new customs. For example, when I visited Japan I learned a lot about local cuisine and etiquette, which broadened my horizons and was both interesting and educational.

× I don't usually take pictures of different views, it depends on my mood.

✓ I don't usually take pictures of different views; it depends on my mood.

This sentence contains two independent clauses linked by a comma, creating a comma splice (sentence structure error). The tense is correct. Use a semicolon or a coordinating conjunction (for, and, nor, but, or, yet, so) to join independent clauses. Suggestion: replace the comma with a semicolon or add 'because' or 'but' as appropriate.

× Sometimes I like to take photo to capture what's happening around me, especially as the scenery looks unusual or when I I'm with friends.

✓ Sometimes I like to take photos to capture what's happening around me, especially when the scenery looks unusual or when I'm with friends.

Multiple issues: 'photo' should be plural 'photos' (singular/plural) because 'take photos' is the normal collocation; 'as' used for reason is awkward here—use 'when' for time; extra 'I' is a typo. Also 'when I'm with friends' requires contraction 'I'm' placed correctly. Suggest checking for typos and common collocations (take photos).

× I prefer among Arabs because I grew up in the city and really own modern convenience.

✓ I prefer urban areas because I grew up in the city and enjoy modern conveniences.

The original uses 'among Arabs' incorrectly—this refers to people, not views; 'prefer' should take a noun phrase like 'urban areas'. 'Own modern convenience' is incorrect: 'own' is wrong verb and 'convenience' should be plural 'conveniences'. Use 'enjoy' with 'modern conveniences'.

× I enjoy attractive building, aesthetic coffee shops and restaurants at the world of cultural and social activities the city offers.

✓ I enjoy attractive buildings, aesthetic coffee shops and restaurants, and the wide range of cultural and social activities the city offers.

Several issues: 'building' should be plural 'buildings' to match the list; missing commas in a series; 'at the world of cultural...' is incorrect—use 'the wide range of' or 'the world of' but restructure to 'the wide range of cultural and social activities'. Ensure parallel structure in lists.

× Because I enjoy expressing different culture cultures, I prefer views of other counters.

✓ Because I enjoy exploring different cultures, I prefer views of other countries.

'Expressing different culture cultures' is incorrect—likely 'exploring different cultures' is intended. 'Counters' is a misspelling of 'countries'. Also plural 'cultures' needed. Check word choice and spelling.

× Tuning abroad, uh, let's me meet people with different ways of life and observe new customs.

✓ Traveling abroad, uh, lets me meet people with different ways of life and observe new customs.

'Tuning abroad' is likely a typo for 'traveling abroad'. Use 'lets' (third person singular) not 'let's' or 'let me'; 'lets me' is correct. The verb form must agree with the subject 'traveling' as a gerund phrase acting as subject—'traveling... lets'. Also avoid filler 'uh' in formal answers.

× For example, I learned a lot of a lot about food, educate when I visit Japan, which, uh, broadens my horizon and feel both interesting and educational.

✓ For example, I learned a lot about food and education when I visited Japan, which broadened my horizons and felt both interesting and educational.

Mixed and incorrect tenses: 'learned' is past—so 'visited' should be past as well (not 'visit'). 'Educate' is wrong form; use noun 'education'. 'Broadens my horizon' should match past tense 'broadened my horizons'. 'Feel' should be past 'felt'. Use consistent past tense when describing past experiences and plural 'horizons' is idiomatic.