视图— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Make the answer more concise and natural by removing filler words (e.g. "like", "you know") and using a clear topic sentence plus one specific supporting detail. Keep it within 3–4 sentences and use a linking word if you add an example.

範例: Yes, I love taking pictures of different views because I’m a nature lover. For example, when I see colorful flowers or mountain landscapes I often stop to photograph them, as they look especially striking in different light.

建議: Begin with a direct topic sentence stating your preference, then give 1–2 specific reasons using linking words (e.g. "because", "for instance"). Avoid repetition and filler phrases. Correct small grammar issues (e.g. "there are fewer places" for countable nouns).

範例: I prefer photographing views in rural areas because they offer more natural scenery. For instance, countryside roads, fields of wildflowers and scattered woodlands provide varied and tranquil subjects, whereas urban areas often have fewer natural spots to capture.

建議: Use present tense and a clear comparison structure (e.g. "I prefer views in Canada to those in India") and avoid filler words. Provide one concrete example or reason and limit to 2–3 sentences for clarity.

範例: I prefer the views in Canada to those in India because the mountain scenery and dense forests here are more dramatic. For example, the Rocky Mountains and nearby lakes create striking photographic opportunities that I rarely saw back home.

× Yes I do because I'm a nature loving person so whenever I see any like you know any, anything mesmerizing or anything beautiful around me, whether it's flowers, trees or mountains, I just love to capture it up.

✓ Yes, I do because I'm a nature-loving person, so whenever I see anything mesmerizing or beautiful around me, whether it's flowers, trees, or mountains, I just love to capture it.

The phrase 'nature loving' should be hyphenated as a compound adjective before a noun: 'nature-loving'. 'Capture it up' is incorrect; the correct verb is 'capture' without 'up'. Redundant filler words ('like you know any, anything') should be removed for clarity. Add commas for readability. Suggestion: use 'nature-loving' and say 'capture it'.

× In my opinion, rural areas are more beautiful to capture as there are many like you know many things that are close to nature like trees, flowers, parks and everywhere whether the in in urban area there are less places to capture like you know there are only some centralized places where.

✓ In my opinion, rural areas are more beautiful to capture because there are many things close to nature, such as trees, flowers, and parks, whereas urban areas have fewer places to photograph and only some central spots.

This sentence contains repetition and disfluent fillers ('like you know many', 'in in') and runs on without clear structure. Replace 'as' with 'because' for clarity. Use 'fewer' (comparative for countable nouns) instead of 'less' and 'photograph' as a clearer verb. Remove trailing incomplete clause. Suggestion: eliminate fillers and organize into contrast with 'whereas'.

× I preferred the views in Canada because I moved to Canada after leaving all my life in India.

✓ I prefer the views in Canada because I moved to Canada after leaving my life in India.

The student used 'preferred' (past) while describing a current preference; use present simple 'prefer' to match ongoing preference. Also 'leaving all my life in India' is awkward; use 'leaving my life in India' or 'after leaving India where I had lived my whole life'. Suggestion: use consistent present tense for current preferences and a clearer phrase for having lived previously in India.

× So I think when I saw mountains, landscapes and the forest areas here, so I saw it more like more mesmerizing and you know, more photogenic.

✓ I think the mountains, landscapes, and forests here are more mesmerizing and more photogenic.

The original mixes past and present and uses redundant fillers ('so', 'you know') and an awkward 'saw it more like more'. Use present simple 'are' to express general opinion. Remove redundant words and plural agreement: 'forests' rather than 'the forest areas' and avoid 'saw it'. Suggestion: state opinion directly: 'are more mesmerizing and more photogenic'.