视图— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct grammatical errors. Start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, then give one or two specific supporting details using correct nouns and prepositions. Use linking words like 'for example' or 'especially' to connect details. Avoid redundant phrases and keep the answer to under five sentences.

範例: Yes, I do. I became keen on taking photos after I moved to Australia because the landscapes there are stunning. For example, I love photographing national parks and beaches such as Scarborough and Cottesloe. I usually go early in the morning to capture the light and quiet atmosphere.

建議: Provide a direct topic sentence that clearly states your preference, then give two specific reasons with linking words (e.g., 'because', 'so', 'for example'). Fix grammar (plural/singular, articles) and avoid hesitation. Keep it within three sentences.

範例: I prefer rural areas. They offer more open space and natural scenery, such as beaches and mountains, which are easier to photograph. In contrast, urban areas are crowded and make it harder to take clear shots.

建議: Answer the question directly by stating a clear preference (own country, other countries, or both). Give specific comparisons and examples, using correct vocabulary (e.g., 'prefecture', 'mountains', 'coast', 'historic buildings') and linking words like 'while' or 'whereas'. Remove fillers and repetitions. Keep it to two or three sentences.

範例: I like views in both places, but if I must choose, I prefer my home country for mountain scenery and historic buildings. For example, my prefecture has famous mountains and traditional towns, whereas Australia offers beautiful beaches, so each place has its own appeal.

× I was a big fan of the taking the photo when I moved to the Australia.

✓ I was a big fan of taking photos when I moved to Australia.

Use simple past 'was' is fine for past state. Remove extra 'the' before gerund and use plural 'photos' for general activity. Do not use 'the' before country names like Australia. Also use 'taking photos' rather than 'the taking the photo'.

× I'm so surprised by the amazing day.

✓ I was so surprised by the amazing scenery.

The original mixes present tense 'I'm' with past context; change to past 'I was'. 'Amazing day' is odd when talking about views; 'amazing scenery' fits better. Use coherent tense and appropriate noun for context.

× Beautiful abuse such as National Park and beaches especially.

✓ Beautiful places such as national parks and beaches, especially.

'abuse' is incorrect word choice; use 'places'. Use plural 'national parks' and lowercase when not using official names. Add commas and restructure to be grammatical.

× I really like past beaches such as the Scarborough and Cortez raw beach so usually I enjoy the taking the hotel.

✓ I really like beaches such as Scarborough and Cottesloe, so I usually enjoy staying at hotels there.

'Past beaches' is incorrect; use 'beaches'. Country/place names should not have 'the' unless specific (e.g., The Hague). 'Cortez raw beach' likely intended 'Cottesloe'. 'Enjoy the taking the hotel' is ungrammatical; use 'enjoy staying at hotels'. Ensure verb forms and articles are correct.

× I would say I like the rural area because they have a lot of the beaches and the mountain.

✓ I would say I like rural areas because they have a lot of beaches and mountains.

Use plural 'rural areas' to match general statement. Remove unnecessary 'the' before plural nouns. Use plural 'mountains' and 'beaches' for generalization.

× If I went to the urban areas, they have a lot of the people and it's, it's difficult to take the photo, but rural areas, they have a lot of space.

✓ If I go to urban areas, there are a lot of people and it's difficult to take photos, but rural areas have a lot of space.

Mix of conditional/past 'If I went' with general truth: use present 'If I go' or keep second conditional. Use 'there are' to state existence. Avoid redundant pronoun 'they' and use 'photos' plural. Keep tense consistent.

× So that's why I prefer the.

✓ So that's why I prefer rural areas.

Original sentence is incomplete and ends with 'the'. Complete the sentence by stating the object 'rural areas'.

× Actually, it's good question for me because they have a lot of their, uh, goods, uh, point of the view.

✓ Actually, it's a good question for me because they have a lot of good viewpoints.

Use 'a good question' with article 'a'. Replace vague 'their, uh, goods' with 'good viewpoints' or 'scenic spots'. Remove unnecessary pronouns 'they' if unclear. Clarify meaning and choose correct nouns.

× My prefecture is, uh, has a famous on the mountains.

✓ My prefecture is famous for its mountains.

Use 'famous for' to indicate reason. 'Has a famous on the mountains' is ungrammatical. Use possessive 'its' and plural 'mountains' as appropriate.

× So we, we can enjoy a lot of the takeover hotel over the national, uh, buildings.

✓ So we can enjoy many panoramic views of the national buildings from hotels.

Original is unclear: 'takeover hotel' and 'over the national buildings' are incorrect. Replace with 'panoramic views of the national buildings from hotels' to convey intended meaning. Use 'many' for countable plural.

× But in the Australia, they have a lot of the beaches.

✓ But in Australia, there are a lot of beaches.

Do not use 'the' before 'Australia'. Use 'there are' to indicate existence. Remove unnecessary 'they' pronoun. Use plural 'beaches'.

× So that's why.

✓ So that's why I prefer visiting Australia for its beaches.

Sentence fragment 'So that's why.' is incomplete. Expand to explain reason: 'So that's why I prefer visiting Australia for its beaches.' makes it a complete idea and links to previous sentence.