视图— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Cải thiện tính tự nhiên, ngắn gọn và chính xác; tránh lặp từ và sửa ngữ pháp. Cụ thể: 1) Bắt đầu bằng câu chủ đề trực tiếp: “Yes, I do.” 2) Giảm số từ thừa như "uh", "umm"; giữ tối đa 3-4 câu. 3) Dùng từ vựng phù hợp và sửa lỗi ngữ pháp như "surrounding spectacles" → "scenery" và "which is reporting" → bỏ hoặc thay bằng cụm thích hợp. 4) Thêm một chi tiết cụ thể (ví dụ: "sunsets at the beach") để làm rõ và phong phú câu trả lời.

範例: Yes, I do. I’m passionate about photography and I especially enjoy capturing natural scenery, such as blue skies and sunsets. For instance, I often photograph the sunset at the nearby beach because the colours change rapidly and it creates dramatic photos.

建議: Cải thiện cấu trúc câu, ngắt câu hợp lý và sửa lỗi ngữ pháp; tránh dùng cụm từ không tự nhiên như "captured me". Cụ thể: 1) Nói rõ quan điểm đầu tiên (nông thôn hay đô thị) nếu có ưu tiên, hoặc nêu rõ bạn thích cả hai vì lý do khác nhau. 2) Sử dụng liên từ phù hợp (because, while, however) để liên kết ý. 3) Sử dụng tính từ và danh từ chính xác: "lush greenery" đúng, nhưng nên nói "it captivates me" hoặc "I find it captivating." 4) Giữ tối đa 3 câu, thêm ví dụ cụ thể (ví dụ: "I like rural views for quiet fields; urban views for skyline at night").

範例: I like both, but if I had to choose I’d pick the countryside because it offers peace and lush greenery. However, urban views also appeal to me for their blend of historic buildings and modern skylines, especially when the city lights come on at night.

建議: Cải thiện tính rõ ràng, tránh cấu trúc mơ hồ và dùng từ phù hợp; sửa các lỗi như "have that alert" và "old country's". Cụ thể: 1) Trả lời trực tiếp: "I prefer views in my own country because..." hoặc ngược lại. 2) Dùng từ chính xác: "nostalgia" với "familiarity" hoặc "heritage"; "modern architecture" là hợp lý. 3) Sắp xếp ý rõ ràng: so sánh trực tiếp giữa trong nước và nước ngoài, đưa ví dụ cụ thể (ví dụ: "I enjoy familiar historic districts at home, while abroad I like futuristic skylines"). 4) Tránh tiếng lấp lửng và giữ trong 2-3 câu.

範例: I prefer views in my own country because they feel familiar and full of history and modern architecture that I know well. In contrast, views abroad often feature many skyscrapers and a very different urban layout, which is interesting but less emotionally resonant for me.

× ...especially when it comes to the surrounding spectacles, umm, for example, I tend to, I tend to be attracted to the natural views like blue sky and the sunset, which is reporting.

✓ ...especially when it comes to the surrounding spectacles. For example, I tend to be attracted to natural views like the blue sky and sunsets, which is captivating.

'Which is reporting' is incorrect because 'reporting' (present participle) does not fit the intended meaning. The speaker likely meant 'captivating' or 'captured me'. Replace with 'which is captivating' or rephrase the clause. Also add articles 'the' before 'blue sky' and plural 'sunsets' for natural generalization. Use a period to separate sentences for clarity.

× While the countryside provides me with the sense of serenity and a a more lush greenery beauty, the urban areas seem to be a mixture of nostalgia and modern beauty which is really captured me.

✓ While the countryside provides me with a sense of serenity and more lush greenery, the urban areas seem to be a mixture of nostalgia and modern beauty which really captivates me.

Duplicate 'a a' should be 'a'. 'A sense of serenity' is the correct collocation. 'More lush greenery beauty' is unidiomatic; use 'more lush greenery' or 'lush beauty'. 'Which is really captured me' is ungrammatical: passive 'captured' cannot take 'me' directly. Use active verb 'captivates me' to express that urban areas attract the speaker.

× I would say that I have that alert for my old country's views, which allows me to immerse myself in the blend of nostalgia and the modern architecture.

✓ I would say that I have an affection for the views of my home country, which allow me to immerse myself in the blend of nostalgia and modern architecture.

'Have that alert' is incorrect collocation and 'that' is wrong; use 'an affection' or 'an attachment'. 'My old country's views' is awkward; 'views of my home country' is natural. 'Which allows me' mismatches plural 'views' — use 'which allow me' or change 'views' to singular. Also drop 'the' before 'modern architecture' for general reference.

× Umm, compared to the other cities that are well developed by, uh, building a lot of skyscrapers.

✓ Compared to other cities that are well developed with many skyscrapers, (I prefer the views of my home country).

The fragment lacks a main clause and is incomplete. 'Developed by building a lot of skyscrapers' is awkward; use 'developed with many skyscrapers' or 'that have many skyscrapers'. Add a complete main clause to finish the comparison. I provided a parenthetical completion to show a natural continuation.