视图— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Cevap doğal ve ilgili olsa da cümleler dağınık ve bazı tamamlanmamış ifadeler var. Konuyu doğrudan bir konu cümlesiyle başlatıp ardından 1–2 destekleyici cümle ekleyin. Gereksiz tekrarları ve doldurma seslerini (ör. "and", "uh") çıkarın. Ayrıca "I really find it" gibi eksik ifadeleri tamamlayın (ne bulduğunuzu belirtin). Bağlaçlar kullanarak akışı iyileştirin: örneğin "because", "so", "for example". Maksimum 5 cümleyi geçmemeye dikkat edin.

範例: I love taking pictures of different views because photography helps me notice details I would otherwise miss. For example, I enjoy capturing natural landscapes like mountains and coastlines because their light and colors change throughout the day. Having studied photography at college, I also try to apply composition techniques to make my photos more interesting.

建議: Cevap net bir tercih gösteriyor ancak tekrarlar ve dolgu ifadeleri çok fazla. Duyguyu ve gerekçeyi daha spesifik örneklerle destekleyin (ör. hangi manzaralar, hangi duygular). Bağlaçlarla akışı güçlendirin ve tekrarları azaltın. Ayrıca bir sonuç cümlesiyle görüşünüzü pekiştirin. Cümle sayısını 3–4'te tutun.

範例: I prefer rural views because they often feel more peaceful and untouched than cities. For instance, I enjoy photographing meadows and old farms where the light and textures create calm, authentic scenes. Therefore I try to capture these places when I travel because they are harder to find and more rewarding to shoot.

建議: Cevap mantıklı bir denge sunuyor ancak tekrarlar ve ifadelerin net olmaması sorun yaratıyor (ör. "I find I find", "really amusing"/"fascinating" gibi genel kelimeler). Daha spesifik karşılaştırmalar yapın: hangi özellikleri beğendiğinizi belirtin (ör. mimari detaylar, ışık, doğa). Birlikte bağlaç kullanarak neden tercihinizin duruma bağlı olduğunu açıklayın. 3 cümleyi geçmeyin.

範例: It depends on what I want to photograph: abroad I enjoy architectural landmarks like the Duomo in Milan because of their intricate details and scale. At home in Istanbul I prefer natural and rural views, such as coastal villages and forests, because they offer unique textures and softer light. So I choose the location based on whether I want architectural drama or natural serenity.

× I love taking pictures of different views because I am really interested in photography and I think we have to appreciate those views, the natural views especially, that we are able to see.

✓ I love taking pictures of different views because I am really interested in photography and I think we should appreciate the natural views that we can see.

The sentence is wordy and has awkward structure ('we have to appreciate those views, the natural views especially, that we are able to see'). This is a sentence structure issue. Simplify and reorder: use 'we should appreciate the natural views that we can see.' This removes redundancy ('those views' plus 'the natural views especially') and uses the natural modal 'should' for advice. Also change 'are able to see' to the more natural 'can see.'

× And because I studied photography also during my years in college, I really find it. And.

✓ Because I also studied photography during my college years, I really enjoy it.

The original is fragmentary and unclear ('I really find it. And.'). This is a sentence structure error. Correct by making a complete clause: 'I also studied photography during my college years' and clarify the object with 'I really enjoy it.' Use 'college years' instead of 'years in college' for natural order.

× Definitely rural areas because I think they're much more natural.

✓ Definitely rural areas because I think they are much more natural.

The contraction 'they're' is acceptable in speech, but for written correction ensure consistent formality. This is a minor pronoun usage/consistency issue: expand contraction to 'they are' to match surrounding formal sentences.

× Umm, they're fascinating and they make me feel different.

✓ They are fascinating and make me feel refreshed.

'Make me feel different' is vague and awkward. This is a sentence structure problem. Replace with a clearer description like 'make me feel refreshed' or 'make me feel different in a positive way.' Also remove filler 'Umm'.

× Uh, I feel very happy, uh, when I take pictures, uh, of the rural areas and I think they're not common to find easily.

✓ I feel very happy when I take pictures of rural areas, and I think such views are not easy to find.

Excess fillers ('uh') and awkward phrasing ('they're not common to find easily') create a sentence structure error. Rephrase to 'such views are not easy to find' for clarity and fluency.

× So if we can capture them, then we should take a picture of those, uh, rural areas.

✓ So if we can capture them, we should take pictures of those rural areas.

Sentence structure is awkward due to filler and singular/plural mismatch ('a picture of those rural areas'). Use plural 'pictures' to match 'those rural areas' and remove filler 'uh.'

× I think it depends, because whenever I visit abroad, for example Milan in Italy, I find I find the cathedral really amusing for example.

✓ I think it depends, because whenever I visit abroad, for example Milan in Italy, I find the cathedral really interesting.

Repeating 'I find' is a sentence structure/tense issue and 'amusing' is odd for a cathedral; 'interesting' is more appropriate. Also remove duplicate 'for example.' Ensure simple present 'I find' is correct for habitual visits.

× However, in my own country, Istanbul for example, the rural areas, the views and all the natural areas are really fascinating.

✓ However, in my own country, Istanbul for example, the rural areas, views, and all natural areas are really fascinating.

Comma usage and repetition ('the views and all the natural areas') create a sentence structure problem. Simplify the list to 'the rural areas, views, and all natural areas.' Remove redundant 'the' before 'views' and 'natural areas.'