视图— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 話し方の流暢さと明瞭さを改善するために、曖昧なつなぎ言葉（uh, um, which leads to など）を減らし、主語と目的語をはっきりさせた短い文を使ってください。また、支持情報は具体的で簡潔に示し、冗長な表現を避けてください。例：最初に簡潔な主張を述べ、その後例を1つ挙げて簡潔に説明します。

範例: Yes, I enjoy taking photos of different views. I often photograph my dogs from various angles to capture their expressions and cute poses, which gives me new ideas for editing and sharing on social media.

建議: 文の構造を整え、冗長な繰り返しを避けてください。理由を述べる際は1〜2つの具体的なポイントを挙げ、それぞれを短く説明すると効果的です。語彙は感情や感覚を正確に表す単語を使いましょう（例：relaxed, peaceful）。

範例: I prefer rural areas because they feel peaceful and less crowded. For example, I once lived in a small village surrounded by greenery, and the quiet scenery helped me feel relaxed and refreshed.

建議: 語彙の誤用（bills→views など）と文法の混乱を直してください。主張を明確に述べ、具体的な例を時間や場所を示して簡潔に説明すると良いです。接続語を使って論理の流れを滑らかにしてください（e.g., because, for example, which）。

範例: I prefer views in other countries because they expose me to different cultures and architecture. For example, when I visited Germany I saw many impressive cathedrals, and exploring them made me more curious about European history and design.

× I like to take a lot of pictures from different views because which leads to, uh, many findings.

✓ I like to take a lot of pictures from different views because it leads to many discoveries.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'which' to refer to the whole preceding clause and 'findings' is awkward here. Use 'it' as a dummy subject to refer to taking pictures (structure: because it leads to ...) and 'discoveries' is a more natural noun. Suggestion: use 'because it leads to' and replace 'findings' with 'discoveries'.

× For example, uh, when I take photos of my, uh, dogs from different angles, uh, we can uh, find a lot of cute style of the dog.

✓ For example, when I take photos of my dogs from different angles, I can find a lot of cute poses of the dog.

The sentence incorrectly uses 'we' and the phrase 'cute style' is unnatural. Use 'I' because the speaker is the one taking photos. Replace 'cute style' with 'cute poses' or 'cute looks' for natural English. Also remove unnecessary commas and filler words.

× I prefer to live in, uh, rural areas.

✓ I prefer to live in rural areas.

The sentence is grammatically correct but has extra filler commas. No plural/singular error beyond fillers. Keep 'rural areas' plural since general preference is fine. Remove unnecessary commas for fluency.

× The reason is that rural areas you can in, uh, in rural areas, you can feel a lot of enjoyable spaces.

✓ The reason is that in rural areas you can enjoy a lot of open spaces.

Original has redundant and incorrect word order ('rural areas you can in ...'). Restructure to 'in rural areas you can enjoy...' and replace 'enjoyable spaces' with the natural collocation 'open spaces'. Suggestion: put the prepositional phrase 'in rural areas' before the verb phrase.

× I have lived in a little area and my house was surrounded by greenery, uh, and uh, I can relieved with that scenery.

✓ I have lived in a small area and my house was surrounded by greenery, and I felt relaxed by that scenery.

'A little area' is better as 'a small area.' 'Can relieved' is ungrammatical: 'relieved' is a past participle/adjective; use 'felt relaxed' to describe the speaker's state. Maintain tense consistency: 'have lived' works with past state, but then use past simple 'felt' to describe emotion at that time.

× I prefer bills in other countries because seeing other countries scenery will broaden my horizons.

✓ I prefer visiting other countries because seeing their scenery will broaden my horizons.

'Prefer bills' is incorrect — likely meant 'prefer visiting.' Also 'other countries scenery' needs possessive or rephrasing: use 'their scenery.' Use 'visiting other countries' to express preference for travel.

× For example when I visited Germany and see many cathedrals, I I'm very interested in cathedrals which broaden my horizons.

✓ For example, when I visited Germany and saw many cathedrals, I was very interested in them, which broadened my horizons.

Mixing tenses: 'visited' is past so follow with 'saw' and 'was.' 'I I'm' is an error; remove duplication. 'Which broaden my horizons' should match past tense: 'which broadened my horizons.' Also replace repeated 'cathedrals' with 'them' for cohesion.