视图— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Improve fluency and clarity by reducing filler words (uh, umm) and completing thoughts. Use a clear topic sentence, one or two supporting details, and a concluding remark. Also correct minor grammar (e.g., 'we are wherever I go' → 'wherever I go') and finish the sentence ('memorize my memories' → 'preserve memories').

範例: Yes, I love taking pictures of different views. My phone is full of photos because wherever I go I try to capture beautiful scenery. For example, I often take sunrise photos to remember special moments.

建議: Reduce repetition and improve word choice and sentence cohesion. Start with a direct topic sentence, then give two specific supporting reasons using linking words (for example, because, moreover). Replace awkward phrases ('peace circumstance') with natural collocations like 'peaceful surroundings.'

範例: I prefer rural areas, because they usually have more attractive scenery and cleaner air. Moreover, the peaceful surroundings help me unwind after a busy week in the city.

建議: Clarify grammar and specificity. Use correct noun forms ('provinces') and remove confusing phrasing ('that I didn't have to go'). Give a clear reason and a specific example of places you want to visit. Keep it concise and avoid repetition.

範例: I prefer views in my own country because China is very large and offers diverse landscapes. For instance, I would love to visit Yunnan for its mountains and Guilin for its karst scenery to experience their unique beauty.

× my phone is full of photos because we are wherever I go, I always photograph beautiful scenery, umm, and I think uh, photos are a great way to, uh, memorize my uh.

✓ My phone is full of photos because wherever I go, I always photograph beautiful scenery, and I think photos are a great way to help me remember moments.

The pronoun 'we' is incorrect in this context; the speaker means 'I'. Also 'memorize my' is incomplete and unnatural; use 'help me remember' for recalling experiences. Suggestion: use 'I' consistently for personal experiences and complete the verb phrase ('help me remember moments').

× And I really enjoy the quiet and peace circumstance, so I think rural areas can help me relax.

✓ And I really enjoy the quiet and peaceful atmosphere, so I think rural areas help me relax.

'Peace circumstance' is ungrammatical; the correct adjective is 'peaceful' and the noun collocation is 'atmosphere' or 'environment'. Also 'can help me relax' is acceptable, but 'help me relax' is more natural. Suggestion: learn common adjective+noun collocations like 'peaceful atmosphere'.

× Actually China is very big and also has lots of province which has several different types of views that I didn't have to go.

✓ Actually China is very big and has many provinces, each with several different kinds of scenery that I haven't been to.

Several issues: 'lots of province' uses wrong number agreement and form; use 'many provinces'. 'Which has' should match plural 'provinces' and 'each' is clearer. 'Different types of views' is better as 'different kinds of scenery'. The clause 'that I didn't have to go' is incorrect; use present perfect 'I haven't been to' to indicate places not yet visited. Suggestion: use 'many provinces' and correct verb tense to present perfect for unvisited places.

× So if I have a chance I would like to experience that beautiful views.

✓ So if I have the chance, I would like to experience those beautiful views.

'That beautiful views' mixes singular demonstrative 'that' with plural noun 'views'; use 'those' for plural. Also include 'the chance' or 'a chance' with comma after the conditional phrase for natural English. Suggestion: match demonstratives to number and add article 'the' for a specific opportunity.