图书馆— Part 1 評分報告

建議: In English (Bhutan), try to make your answer more natural and clear by correcting grammar and avoiding redundancy. For example, say "Currently, I work as an accountant at Botanical Industrial Limited, so I don't have much time to visit the library. Instead, I usually browse websites to learn." This is more concise and natural.

範例: Currently, I work as an accountant at Botanical Industrial Limited, so I don't have much time to visit the library. Instead, I usually browse websites to learn new things.

建議: In English (Bhutan), try to organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and avoid repetition. Use linking words to connect ideas. For example, "When I was in high school, I usually went to the library to borrow story books, novels, and textbooks for my exams because they helped me study and stay engaged."

範例: When I was in high school, I usually went to the library to borrow story books, novels, and textbooks for my exams because they helped me study and stay engaged.

建議: In English (Bhutan), try to avoid filler words and incomplete sentences. Make your answer more fluent and specific. For example, "Yes, when I was a kid, we didn't have internet at home, so my friends and I often went to the school library to find interesting books to read."

範例: Yes, when I was a kid, we didn't have internet at home, so my friends and I often went to the school library to find interesting books to read.

建議: In English (Bhutan), try to reduce hesitation and improve sentence structure. Use linking words and be more specific. For example, "Although I have not been to China, I believe Chinese children often visit libraries to learn about different countries, geography, and various subjects to expand their knowledge."

範例: Although I have not been to China, I believe Chinese children often visit libraries to learn about different countries, geography, and various subjects to expand their knowledge.

× Right now as I'm working I Botanical Industrial limited and working as an accountant in there, I don't really get time to go to the library and read books and explore things, but I usually browse website and learn from there.

✓ Right now, as I'm working at Botanical Industrial Limited as an accountant, I don't really get time to go to the library to read books and explore things, but I usually browse websites and learn from there.

The original sentence has sentence structure issues and missing prepositions. 'I Botanical Industrial limited' is incorrect; it should be 'I am working at Botanical Industrial Limited'. Also, 'browse website' should be plural 'browse websites'. Adding commas improves clarity.

× Right now as I'm working I Botanical Industrial limited and working as an accountant in there, I don't really get time to go to the library and read books and explore things, but I usually browse website and learn from there.

✓ Right now, as I'm working at Botanical Industrial Limited as an accountant, I don't really get time to go to the library to read books and explore things, but I usually browse websites and learn from there.

The preposition 'at' is needed after 'working' to indicate the place of work. Also, 'in there' is unnecessary and awkward; better to omit or rephrase.

× Right now as I'm working I Botanical Industrial limited and working as an accountant in there, I don't really get time to go to the library and read books and explore things, but I usually browse website and learn from there.

✓ Right now, as I'm working at Botanical Industrial Limited as an accountant, I don't really get time to go to the library to read books and explore things, but I usually browse websites and learn from there.

The phrase 'working as an accountant in there' is awkward; better to say 'working as an accountant' or 'working at Botanical Industrial Limited as an accountant' for clarity and correctness.

× but I usually browse website and learn from there.

✓ but I usually browse websites and learn from there.

The word 'website' should be plural 'websites' because it implies browsing multiple sites, which is more natural in this context.

× When I was in high school, I used to go to the library to get some story books and novels and some textbooks that I can explore.

✓ When I was in high school, I used to go to the library to get storybooks, novels, and textbooks that I could explore.

The phrase 'some story books and novels and some textbooks' is repetitive and awkward. 'Storybooks' is one word. Also, 'that I can explore' should be past tense 'could explore' to match 'used to'.

× Uh, the textbook that I will be using for my upcoming exams and story books, which will, which will, which I can be engaged and not be Romeo.

✓ Uh, the textbooks that I will be using for my upcoming exams and storybooks, which I can engage with and not be bored.

The sentence is fragmented and unclear. 'Which will, which will' is repetitive and incorrect. 'I can be engaged' should be 'I can engage with'. 'Not be Romeo' is unclear and likely a mistake; 'not be bored' fits the context better.

× When I was young, there was no Internet facilities where we can just browse it from our home.

✓ When I was young, there were no Internet facilities where we could just browse from our home.

'There was no Internet facilities' is incorrect because 'facilities' is plural; it should be 'there were'. Also, 'we can' should be past tense 'we could' to match 'when I was young'.

× We used to go to school and school libraries where me and my friends will go there and we'll we'll we'll find a specific book which is which is very interesting and.

✓ We used to go to school and school libraries where my friends and I would go and find specific books that were very interesting.

'Me and my friends' should be 'my friends and I' as the subject. 'Will go' should be past tense 'would go' to match 'used to'. The sentence is also incomplete and repetitive; it needs to be concise and clear.

× Uh, I have not been to China, but I think, uh, China, Chinese kids, uh, goes to the libraries to explore things, learn and to grow and to have a different, to have a different knowledge about different countries and geological to learn about, to learn about different subjects.

✓ Uh, I have not been to China, but I think Chinese kids go to libraries to explore things, learn, grow, and gain different knowledge about different countries and geography, and to learn about different subjects.

'Chinese kids goes' is incorrect; 'kids' is plural so the verb should be 'go'. The sentence is also repetitive and awkward; rephrasing improves clarity. 'Geological' is incorrect here; 'geography' is the correct term.