列表— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Tapai ko uttar ma thap clarity ra fluency chahinchha. Tapai le sentence haru lai thap natural ra sanga-sanga logical banau, ra unnecessary repetition hataunu parcha. English ma sentence haru lai chhoto ra prabhavshali banau, jasma topic sentence ra supporting details clear hunuparcha.

範例: Yes, I usually make a shopping list on my phone before going to the market. This helps me remember everything I need and saves time because I can quickly show the list to the shopkeeper. I find this method very convenient and efficient.

建議: Tapai ko uttar ma thap coherence ra linking words chahinchha. Tapai le apno vichar haru lai ramro sanga jodne prayas garnu parcha, jasle gardaa uttar natural ra prabhavshali huncha. English ma linking words jastai 'first', 'then', 'finally' prayog garnu ramro hunchha.

範例: When I arrive at the office, I first open the sticky notes on my laptop and list all urgent tasks. Then, I prioritize them in order, like 1, 2, 3, and so on. Finally, I try to complete all the tasks. This method works well for me.

建議: Tapai ko uttar ma grammar ra clarity ma sudhar garnu parcha. Sentence haru lai sanga-sanga logical ra prabhavshali banau. English ma clear ra simple sentence haru le meaning ramro sanga prakat hunchha. Tapai le vichar haru lai ramro sanga organize garnu parcha.

範例: Some people may not like making lists because they trust their memory and can manage their tasks efficiently. However, others who don't make lists might lack clear goals for the day, which can affect their productivity.

建議: Tapai ko uttar natural cha tara thap concise ra effective banau. English ma repetition hataera sentence haru lai chhoto ra prabhavshali banau. Tapai le apno preference ko karan clear ra specific banau.

範例: I prefer making lists on my phone because it's always with me, unlike pen and paper which I often have to search for. This makes note-taking quick and convenient.

× Yes, I when I go to the market for shopping, I use my phone to make a list of the things.

✓ Yes, when I go to the market for shopping, I use my phone to make a list of the things.

The sentence has an unnecessary repetition of 'I' which causes confusion and breaks the sentence structure. Removing the extra 'I' makes the sentence clear and grammatically correct.

× So when I arrive at the marketplace at the shop, so I open my phone and ask the shopkeeper to give the things that I require so that I can save my time.

✓ When I arrive at the marketplace or the shop, I open my phone and ask the shopkeeper to give me the things that I require so that I can save my time.

Using 'so' twice in the sentence is redundant and incorrect. Also, 'at the marketplace at the shop' is awkward; 'or' is better to indicate alternatives. Additionally, 'ask the shopkeeper to give the things' should be 'ask the shopkeeper to give me the things' for clarity.

× And it is the I think this is the most convenient way to do the shopping.

✓ I think this is the most convenient way to do the shopping.

The phrase 'And it is the' is unnecessary and disrupts the sentence flow. Removing it results in a clear and grammatically correct sentence.

× When I go to the office, the first thing I do to open the sticky notes in my laptop and I list out all the things that are to be done most urgently.

✓ When I go to the office, the first thing I do is open the sticky notes on my laptop and list out all the things that need to be done most urgently.

The original sentence is missing the verb 'is' after 'the first thing I do'. Also, 'in my laptop' should be 'on my laptop' because sticky notes are an application on the laptop screen. 'Are to be done' is better expressed as 'need to be done' for naturalness.

× I prioritize the work in like 1234 and I will try to finish all the work.

✓ I prioritize the work like 1, 2, 3, 4 and try to finish all of it.

The phrase 'in like 1234' is unclear and awkward. Using 'like 1, 2, 3, 4' clarifies the prioritization order. Also, 'all the work' can be simplified to 'all of it' for conciseness.

× The person might be very smart who doesn't make the list, so they may may be relying on the memory and they are very efficient at managing the things of the day.

✓ A person who doesn't make a list might be very smart, so they may be relying on their memory and are very efficient at managing the day's tasks.

The original sentence has awkward pronoun placement and repetition of 'may'. Changing 'the person' to 'a person' and 'the memory' to 'their memory' improves clarity and correctness. Also, 'things of the day' is better expressed as 'day's tasks'.

× But who the person who doesn't make the notes means like they are, they do not have the purpose of the goal of the day.

✓ But a person who doesn't make notes may not have a clear purpose or goal for the day.

The original sentence is confusing and ungrammatical. Simplifying and restructuring it clarifies the meaning and corrects the sentence structure.

× As I told you earlier, I prefer to write down on my phone and I do not prefer to write on the paper notes because I have to always go on searching for the pen and paper.

✓ As I told you earlier, I prefer to write on my phone and do not prefer to write on paper notes because I always have to search for a pen and paper.

The phrase 'write down on my phone' is incorrect; 'write on my phone' is better. 'Go on searching' is awkward; 'have to search' is more natural. Also, 'the pen and paper' should be 'a pen and paper' as they are not specific items.

× But my smart phone is always in my hand so it's easy to make the notes.

✓ But my smartphone is always in my hand, so it's easy to make notes.

'Smart phone' should be one word 'smartphone'. 'Make the notes' is better as 'make notes' because notes are general, not specific. Adding a comma before 'so' improves readability.