唱歌— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Try to make your answer more concise and structured. Start with a clear topic sentence directly answering the question, then add specific supporting details using linking words to improve coherence. Avoid filler words like 'umm' and unnecessary repetition.

範例: Yes, I enjoy singing, especially with my father because he is a talented singer who has performed live shows. I like singing classical music and old Bollywood songs with him, which makes the experience enjoyable and meaningful.

建議: Provide a clearer and more organized response by directly answering the question first, then elaborating with specific details. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid vague phrases like 'and everything'.

範例: Yes, I have learned how to sing from my father, focusing on vocal techniques such as controlling the vocal cords. Additionally, I have learned to play instruments like the guitar, flute, and harmonium, which helps me understand music better.

建議: Make your answer clearer and more grammatically correct by structuring it properly. Start with a direct answer, then add specific details using linking words. Avoid unclear phrases like 'most happened gathering'.

範例: I want to sing for my father on his 50th anniversary celebration. It will be a big family gathering in our city, and performing there would be a special way to honour both my father and mother.

建議: Improve your answer by using more natural expressions and clearer explanations. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid awkward phrases like 'working vocal chords'.

範例: Yes, I believe singing brings happiness because it refreshes the mind and energizes the body. Moreover, it allows people to express their emotions, which can be very uplifting.

× I do like singing with my father 'cause my father, he's a great singer and he has done a lot of practices, even the live shows and I like to sing with him like the classical music and some old uh, Bollywood songs.

✓ I do like singing with my father because he is a great singer and he has done a lot of practice, even live shows, and I like to sing with him classical music and some old Bollywood songs.

The word 'practices' is incorrectly used as a plural noun; 'practice' as an uncountable noun is correct here. Also, 'cause' should be expanded to 'because' for formal clarity. The phrase 'like the classical music' is better as 'classical music' without 'the' to refer to the genre generally.

× Yes, I've learned singing with my father, with working with the vocal chords and everything, even the instruments.

✓ Yes, I've learned to sing with my father, working on the vocal cords and everything, even the instruments.

The phrase 'learned singing' is incorrect; the correct form is 'learned to sing'. Also, 'working with the vocal chords' should be 'working on the vocal cords' to indicate practice or improvement. 'Chords' is incorrect; the correct term is 'cords' for vocal anatomy.

× I know how to play guitar and some of the other instruments like flute and harmonium.

✓ I know how to play the guitar and some other instruments like the flute and harmonium.

When referring to musical instruments in general, the definite article 'the' is used before the instrument names. Also, 'some of the other instruments' is better as 'some other instruments' for natural phrasing.

× Like my dream is to sing for my father on his 50th anniversary in front of all of the relatives in one of the most happened gathering in the city the during my father and mother's anniversary.

✓ My dream is to sing for my father on his 50th anniversary in front of all the relatives at one of the biggest gatherings in the city during my father and mother's anniversary.

The original sentence has awkward structure and incorrect phrases like 'most happened gathering'. It should be 'biggest gatherings' to express a large event. Also, 'the during' is incorrect; 'during' alone suffices. The sentence is restructured for clarity and grammatical correctness.

× Yes, I think that singing can bring a lot of happiness in someone's life because it makes you refreshing and it makes you so active with the working vocal chords and you can express your feelings by singing.

✓ Yes, I think that singing can bring a lot of happiness to someone's life because it makes you feel refreshed and active by working your vocal cords, and you can express your feelings by singing.

The preposition 'in' should be 'to' in 'bring happiness to someone's life'. 'Makes you refreshing' is incorrect; it should be 'makes you feel refreshed'. 'Working vocal chords' should be 'working your vocal cords' for clarity and correct anatomy term. Also, 'cords' not 'chords'.