唱歌— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Cevabınız doğal ve anlamlı ancak bazı cümlelerinizde dilbilgisi ve ifade açısından daha akıcı ve doğru yapılar kullanabilirsiniz. Ayrıca, cümlelerinizi daha kısa ve net tutarak gereksiz tekrarları önleyebilirsiniz. Örneğin, 'I strongly agree that music heals the soul' ifadesi güzel ancak 'So I like singing a lot' yerine daha doğal bir bağlaç kullanabilirsiniz.

範例: I enjoy singing because music heals the soul. Although I'm not a professional singer due to my voice, I like singing as a hobby since it helps me relieve stress and have fun with friends and family.

建議: Cevabınızda güzel detaylar var ancak bazı ifadelerinizde dilbilgisi hataları ve anlamsal karışıklıklar mevcut. Ayrıca, 'uh' gibi dolgu kelimelerinden kaçınmalısınız. Cümlelerinizi daha akıcı ve mantıklı bağlaçlarla birbirine bağlayarak anlatımınızı güçlendirebilirsiniz.

範例: When I was a child, I took private singing lessons and really enjoyed them. As I improved, I joined my high school's choir and even appeared on a children's singing program on ATV, which was a great experience.

建議: Cevabınız açık ve anlaşılır. Ancak, cümlelerinizi daha çeşitli bağlaçlarla zenginleştirerek ve bazı ifadeleri daha doğal hale getirerek geliştirebilirsiniz. Ayrıca, 'which are full of people that I don't really know' ifadesi yerine daha kısa ve doğal bir ifade tercih edebilirsiniz.

範例: I prefer not to sing in front of large crowds of strangers. Instead, I enjoy singing with my friends and family during karaoke nights because it's a fun and relaxed activity.

建議: Cevabınızda fikirlerinizi ifade etmişsiniz ancak cümle yapılarınız karmaşık ve bazen anlamı zorlaştırıyor. Daha basit ve doğrudan cümleler kurarak düşüncelerinizi net bir şekilde ifade etmeye çalışın. Ayrıca, 'partially believe' yerine daha kesin ifadeler kullanabilirsiniz.

範例: I believe singing can bring happiness to many people because it allows them to express their feelings and discover themselves. However, some people may not enjoy singing, so it might not make them happy.

× But I like singing as a hobby because it's a good way to relieve stress and spend time fun activity with your friends or your family.

✓ But I like singing as a hobby because it's a good way to relieve stress and spend time doing fun activities with your friends or your family.

The phrase 'spend time fun activity' is incorrect because 'spend time' should be followed by a verb in the -ing form or a noun phrase. Here, 'doing fun activities' correctly uses the verb + -ing form to indicate the activity being spent time on.

× By the time as I got better, I used to sing in the choir for the high school and I was actually on ATV program that children used to sing.

✓ By the time I got better, I used to sing in the choir at the high school and I was actually on an ATV program where children used to sing.

The phrase 'By the time as I got better' is incorrect; 'as' is unnecessary here. Also, 'in the choir for the high school' should be 'in the choir at the high school' to indicate location. 'On ATV program' needs an article 'an' before 'ATV program', and 'that children used to sing' should be 'where children used to sing' to correctly describe the program.

× I don't like singing for big crowds, which are full of people that I don't really know, but I like singing with my friends and it is a very fun activity to do.

✓ I don't like singing in front of big crowds, which are full of people that I don't really know, but I like singing with my friends and it is a very fun activity to do.

The phrase 'singing for big crowds' is less precise than 'singing in front of big crowds' when referring to performing before an audience. Using 'in front of' better expresses the idea of performing to an audience.

× I partially believe that singing can bring happiness to people because for some people singing and listening to music is a way of expressing their feelings and they get to explore themselves at that process.

✓ I partially believe that singing can bring happiness to people because, for some, singing and listening to music are ways of expressing their feelings and exploring themselves in that process.

The original sentence has awkward phrasing and subject-verb agreement issues. 'Singing and listening to music is' should be 'are' because the subject is plural. Also, 'explore themselves at that process' is incorrect; 'exploring themselves in that process' is the correct prepositional phrase. The sentence is restructured for clarity and grammatical correctness.

× But for some people it might not be that tempting, so it might not end up in a happiness sense of way for these people.

✓ But for some people, it might not be that appealing, so it might not result in a sense of happiness for them.

The phrase 'end up in a happiness sense of way' is awkward and ungrammatical. 'Result in a sense of happiness' is a clearer and grammatically correct expression. Also, 'tempting' is replaced with 'appealing' to better fit the context.