唱歌— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 回答中存在语法错误和表达不清晰的问题，且句子较长且重复。建议简化句子结构，避免重复，并且注意语法正确性。

範例: Yes, I enjoy singing as a hobby, especially during my free time. I usually sing in my room while playing the guitar because it gives me a sense of achievement.

建議: 回答中语法错误较多，表达不够流畅。建议使用更自然的表达方式，并注意句子连贯性。

範例: I haven't received formal training, but I have taught myself some singing skills by watching online tutorials. I usually practice in my room at night so I don't disturb others.

建議: 回答表达不清晰，句子结构混乱，词汇使用不当。建议简化句子，明确表达意图，并使用恰当的词汇。

範例: I want to sing for people who feel discouraged because I believe music has the power to inspire and motivate them.

建議: 回答中存在语法错误和表达不够自然的问题。建议使用更简单明了的句子，并且注意语法和词汇的准确性。

範例: Yes, singing can bring happiness by creating a joyful atmosphere. It can encourage people who are busy with their daily lives.

× Usually I sing in my room with playing guitar because I think this can give my give me a sense of achievements when I.

✓ Usually I sing in my room while playing the guitar because I think this can give me a sense of achievement.

这里“with playing guitar”用法不正确，应该用“while playing the guitar”表示“在弹吉他的时候”。另外，“give my give me”是重复错误，应改为“give me”。“a sense of achievements”应为“a sense of achievement”，achievement是不可数名词。

× I haven't got them formally trained, but I teach myself some skills from the materials on the Internet.

✓ I haven't been formally trained, but I teach myself some skills from materials on the Internet.

“haven't got them formally trained”结构错误，正确表达是“haven't been formally trained”，表示“没有接受过正式训练”。“the materials”前的定冠词不必要，改为“materials”。

× Usually I train I have the training in my room without bothering others, especially at night.

✓ Usually I train in my room without bothering others, especially at night.

句子中“Usually I train I have the training”结构重复且不通顺，应删去多余部分，保持简洁。

× I would like to sing for those who cannot encourage themselves and raise their powers as I believe song can conclude some powers and ability to encourage people so after singing and hearing my song they can be inspired.

✓ I would like to sing for those who cannot encourage themselves and raise their spirits, as I believe songs can contain some power and the ability to encourage people, so after singing and hearing my songs, they can be inspired.

“raise their powers”表达不自然，改为“raise their spirits”更合适。“song can conclude some powers”用词错误，应为“songs can contain some power”。“hearing my song”应为复数“songs”，保持一致。句子较长，适当加逗号使结构清晰。

× Yes, singing can lead to a collective euphoria which is very inspiring for people who in the fast lane.

✓ Yes, singing can lead to a collective euphoria which is very inspiring for people who are in the fast lane.

“people who in the fast lane”缺少动词“are”，导致句子结构不完整。

× So singing in the normal life can be a power and can also be an encouragement.

✓ So singing in normal life can be a source of power and can also be an encouragement.

“in the normal life”中“the”不必要，改为“in normal life”。“can be a power”表达不自然，改为“can be a source of power”更准确。