唱歌— Part 1 評分報告

建議: In English (Bhutan), try to make your answer clearer and more structured. Start with a direct response, then explain with simple, clear reasons. Avoid repeating words and incomplete sentences.

範例: Yes, I like singing because it helps me relax and improves my mood. Even though my voice is not very good, singing releases my stress and makes me feel happier.

建議: In English (Bhutan), focus on making your sentences complete and clear. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid unclear phrases. Explain your points with simple, specific details.

範例: No, I have never formally learned to sing. However, I often learn the lyrics of songs and sing along with singers. This activity lifts my mood and motivates me to be more active.

建議: In English (Bhutan), try to avoid incomplete sentences and repetition. Use linking words to connect your ideas and explain your feelings clearly and simply.

範例: I want to sing for my loved ones. Even if my voice is not perfect, I believe singing emotional or familiar songs can make them happy. Singing is about sharing feelings, not just having a good voice.

建議: In English (Bhutan), try to organize your answer with clear sentences and avoid repetition. Use linking words to explain your ideas logically and give specific examples.

範例: Yes, singing can bring different emotions to people. For example, happy songs can make people joyful, while emotional songs can make them feel sad. Singing reflects many feelings depending on the situation.

× I love singing even though I have a bad voice or vocal which I say it umm by singing it not only releases my releases my stress but also makes my mood swing change and.

✓ I love singing even though I have a bad voice or vocal, which I say, umm, by singing. It not only releases my stress but also changes my mood swings.

The sentence incorrectly uses pronouns 'it' and repeats phrases unnecessarily, causing confusion. The pronoun 'it' is redundant and disrupts sentence clarity. Also, 'makes my mood swing change' is awkward; 'changes my mood swings' is clearer. To improve, remove unnecessary pronouns and restructure the sentence for clarity.

× I've never learned to sing, but when some of the singers sing, I've just learned the lyrics and the songs and I usually sing along with them.

✓ I've never learned to sing, but when some singers sing, I just learn the lyrics and the songs and usually sing along with them.

The use of 'I've just learned' mixes present perfect with habitual action, which is better expressed in simple present tense 'I just learn' for habitual actions. Also, 'some of the singers' can be simplified to 'some singers' for naturalness. Correcting tense usage improves sentence accuracy and fluency.

× It not only really is my mood but also makes me do more thing.

✓ It not only really lifts my mood but also makes me do more things.

The pronoun 'it' is vague here; the intended subject is likely 'singing' or 'singing along.' Also, 'really is my mood' is incorrect; 'lifts my mood' is appropriate. 'More thing' should be plural 'more things.' Correcting pronouns and noun number improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× I would love to sing for my loved ones even though I don't have a good voice, I think I can make them happier by singing emotional or a very common song to them.

✓ I would love to sing for my loved ones even though I don't have a good voice. I think I can make them happier by singing emotional or very common songs to them.

The sentence is a run-on; splitting into two sentences improves clarity. 'A very common song' should be plural 'very common songs' to match the context. Also, 'singing emotional or very common songs' is clearer. Proper sentence separation and noun number agreement enhance readability.

× Because it's not about the voice, it's about how it makes them feel. So yes, I I want to live.

✓ Because it's not about the voice, it's about how it makes them feel. So yes, I want to live.

The phrase 'I I want to live' contains a repeated pronoun 'I' and the verb 'live' seems out of context, likely a mishearing or typo for 'sing.' Correcting to 'I want to sing' fits the context. Removing repeated words and correcting verb choice improves sentence meaning and structure.

× The singing can not only bring happiness to people's lives but also sadness because there are different types of singing such as happy, very, very emotional singing and some very cherishing singing.

✓ Singing can not only bring happiness to people's lives but also sadness because there are different types of singing such as happy, very emotional singing and some very touching singing.

'The singing' is incorrect; 'singing' without 'the' is general. 'Very, very emotional' is redundant; 'very emotional' suffices. 'Cherishing' is not commonly used to describe singing; 'touching' is more appropriate. Correcting article use, redundancy, and adjective choice improves sentence accuracy and naturalness.

× So it not all it it wants people when when there is a when there is a happy moment, they can.

✓ So it's not always like that. When there is a happy moment, people can sing.

The original sentence is fragmented and contains repeated words, making it unclear. Reconstructing the sentence to 'So it's not always like that. When there is a happy moment, people can sing.' clarifies the meaning. Proper sentence structure and removal of repetitions improve comprehension.