唱歌— Part 1 評分報告

建議: คุณควรปรับปรุงไวยากรณ์และการใช้คำให้ถูกต้อง เช่น ใช้ 'feel' แทน 'feels' และแบ่งประโยคให้ชัดเจนมากขึ้น เพื่อให้คำตอบดูเป็นธรรมชาติและเข้าใจง่ายขึ้น

範例: I love singing because it helps me unwind. When I sing, I can focus better on what I'm doing and relax both physically and mentally.

建議: ควรใช้ไวยากรณ์ที่ถูกต้อง เช่น 'attended' แทน 'attend' และปรับประโยคให้ลื่นไหลมากขึ้น รวมถึงใช้คำเชื่อมเพื่อความต่อเนื่องของเนื้อหา

範例: I learned how to sing at school when I was young. I once attended a school charity singing contest and won first place, which has kept my passion for singing alive until now.

建議: ควรปรับปรุงการใช้คำและโครงสร้างประโยคให้ถูกต้อง เช่น 'be scared' แทน 'scare' และใช้คำเชื่อมเพื่อความลื่นไหลของคำตอบ

範例: Well, I want to sing for myself and for others if they want to listen. Singing alone in my room is very relaxing because I don't have to be scared that I might annoy other people.

建議: ควรปรับปรุงการใช้คำและโครงสร้างประโยคให้ชัดเจนและถูกต้อง เช่น ใช้ 'reduce their stress' แทน 'put their stress down' และเชื่อมประโยคให้สมบูรณ์

範例: I think singing can bring happiness to people because it helps them relax and reduce their stress. When they focus on the music and the next song, they can forget their worries for a while.

× I love singing, when I sing a song I feels unwind and I think singing can help me focus more on what I'm doing now and relax myself physically and mentally.

✓ I love singing. When I sing a song, I feel unwind and I think singing can help me focus more on what I'm doing now and relax myself physically and mentally.

The verb 'feels' does not agree with the singular subject 'I'. The correct form is 'I feel'. Also, the original sentence is a run-on; separating into two sentences improves clarity.

× I learned how to sing at school when I was young. I once attend school charity singing contest and I won the 1st place.

✓ I learned how to sing at school when I was young. I once attended a school charity singing contest and I won first place.

The verb 'attend' should be in past tense 'attended' to match the past context. Also, 'a' is needed before 'school charity singing contest' and 'the' before '1st place' is unnecessary; 'first place' is more natural.

× So that is the passion that keep me want to sing nowadays.

✓ So that is the passion that keeps me wanting to sing nowadays.

The verb 'keep' should be 'keeps' to agree with singular subject 'passion'. Also, 'want' should be changed to 'wanting' to correctly follow 'keeps me'.

× Well, I want to sing for myself and other people if they want to hear me sing.

✓ Well, I want to sing for myself and other people if they want to hear me sing.

No modal verb error detected; sentence is correct.

× I think singing alone in my room is very relaxing and I don't have to scare that other people will be annoyed.

✓ I think singing alone in my room is very relaxing and I don't have to be scared that other people will be annoyed.

The phrase 'I don't have to scare' is incorrect; it should be 'I don't have to be scared' to express the feeling of fear correctly.

× I think singing can bring happiness to people exactly because singing can help others to relax and put their stress down.

✓ I think singing can bring happiness to people because it can help others relax and reduce their stress.

The word 'exactly' is misplaced and unnecessary. 'Put their stress down' is awkward; 'reduce their stress' is more natural. Also, 'help others to relax' is better as 'help others relax'.

× Focus on just what they are hearing, what they are going to sing next.

✓ They focus just on what they are hearing and what they are going to sing next.

The original sentence is a fragment lacking a subject and verb. Adding 'They focus' completes the sentence and improves clarity.