唱歌— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 回答は自然ですが、文法的な誤りと冗長な表現があります。例えば、「makes me refreshing」は不自然で、「makes me feel refreshed」などが適切です。また、例の文が短く断片的なので、より一文でつなげて流れを良くしましょう。

範例: Yes, definitely. Singing makes me feel refreshed, especially when I am sad or depressed. For example, by singing, I can escape from reality and feel free.

建議: 回答は明確ですが、同じ単語の繰り返し（friends）が多く、表現を工夫すると良いです。また、「the quality about it」は不自然なので、「the quality of my singing」などに修正しましょう。

範例: I have never taken formal singing lessons, but I often practice by myself. For instance, when I am with my friends, I ask them to give me feedback on the quality of my singing.

建議: 回答は自然で内容も具体的ですが、接続詞を使って文をつなげるとより流暢になります。例えば、「I don't really want to sing for anyone else; instead, I usually sing just for myself.」のように。

範例: I don't really want to sing for anyone else; instead, I usually sing just for myself. Singing helps me relax and escape from reality, especially when I feel stressed. For example, after a long day, I enjoy singing my favorite songs because it makes me happier and more peaceful.

建議: 回答は簡潔ですが、文法的な誤りと論理のつながりが弱いです。例えば、「when they are feeling depressed by singing」は不自然で、「when they are feeling depressed, singing can help them feel happy」などに修正しましょう。

範例: Yes, I think so because singing helps people release stress and escape from reality. Therefore, when they are feeling depressed, singing can help them feel happier.

× Yes, definitely, because singing makes me refreshing.

✓ Yes, definitely, because singing makes me feel refreshed.

The adjective 'refreshing' describes something that causes refreshment, not the feeling itself. The correct expression is 'makes me feel refreshed' to indicate the effect on the speaker.

× By singing I can escape from reality and feel free.

✓ By singing, I can escape reality and feel free.

The phrase 'escape from reality' is commonly shortened to 'escape reality' in English. Also, a comma after 'By singing' improves readability.

× I ask my friends to give advice about my singing and the quality about it.

✓ I ask my friends to give advice on my singing and its quality.

The correct preposition with 'advice' is 'on' rather than 'about'. Also, 'the quality about it' is awkward; 'its quality' is clearer and more natural.

× Therefore when they are feeling depressed by singing, they can be happy.

✓ Therefore, when they are feeling depressed, singing can make them happy.

The original sentence incorrectly uses 'depressed by singing' which implies singing causes depression. The intended meaning is that when people feel depressed, singing helps them. Also, a comma after 'Therefore' is needed.