唱歌— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Try to avoid filler words like "umm" and redundant phrases such as "that that". Also, use linking words to connect your ideas more smoothly, for example, "because" and "however". Try to be more concise and clear in your explanation.

範例: No, I do not like singing because my voice is not very good. However, I enjoy listening to different kinds of songs because they help me relax. For instance, when I feel sad, I listen to sad music, but when I am happy, I prefer rock music.

建議: Your answer is unclear and contains some confusing phrases like "shovel" and "shop" which seem to be errors. Try to organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details, and avoid hesitation. Use linking words to make your answer coherent.

範例: Yes, I learned how to sing when I was in 8th grade. At school, we participated in an annual function where we performed a play related to our Sikh religion. We practiced singing for about one month to prepare for the event.

建議: Avoid filler words like "umm" and try to make your sentences more concise. Use linking words such as "because" and "so" to connect your ideas clearly. Also, try to use more precise vocabulary like "appreciation" and "supportive" effectively.

範例: If I were to sing for someone, it would be my husband because he is very kind-hearted and supportive. Singing for him would be a way to show my appreciation for his constant support.

建議: Try to avoid hesitation sounds like "uh" and "umm". Structure your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details using linking words such as "because" and "so". Be more specific and concise in your explanation.

範例: Yes, I believe singing can bring happiness because it allows people to express their feelings when they find it difficult to talk. Therefore, singing can be a powerful way to share emotions and feel joyful.

× I love listening to different kind of songs.

✓ I love listening to different kinds of songs.

The phrase 'different kind of songs' is incorrect because 'kind' should be plural 'kinds' when referring to multiple types. The correct phrase is 'different kinds of songs' to indicate variety.

× Whenever I feel suppressed I listen to sad music and whenever I am happy I love to listen rock music.

✓ Whenever I feel suppressed, I listen to sad music and whenever I am happy, I love to listen to rock music.

The sentence is missing commas after introductory clauses for clarity. Also, the phrase 'listen rock music' is incorrect; the verb 'listen' requires the preposition 'to' before the object, so it should be 'listen to rock music'.

× Yes, I have learned how to sing. When I was in school it was I think it was in 8th standard and we participated in our annual function and we did a shovel that we call in Punjabi and it's a it was a shop related to our Sikh religion.

✓ Yes, I have learned how to sing. When I was in school, I think it was in 8th standard, we participated in our annual function and we did a shabad that we call in Punjabi, and it was a shabad related to our Sikh religion.

The word 'shovel' is incorrect in this context; the correct word is 'shabad', a Sikh religious hymn. Also, commas are needed after introductory phrases for clarity. The phrase 'it's a it was a shop' is confusing and corrected to 'it was a shabad' to maintain past tense and clarity.

× And at that time we learned around one month about.

✓ And at that time, we learned about it for around one month.

The original sentence is incomplete and incorrectly structured. The preposition 'about' should be followed by the object, and the duration 'around one month' should be placed appropriately. The corrected sentence clarifies the meaning and corrects the preposition usage.

× If I want to sing for someone, it would be my husband because he's very kind hearted and supportive till now till my life and umm if I sing for him, it would be a great appreciation for him to support me all the time.

✓ If I were to sing for someone, it would be my husband because he's very kind-hearted and supportive throughout my life, and if I sing for him, it would be a great way to appreciate his support all the time.

The conditional sentence requires 'If I were to' for hypothetical situations. 'Kind hearted' should be hyphenated as 'kind-hearted'. The phrase 'till now till my life' is awkward and corrected to 'throughout my life'. Also, 'a great appreciation for him to support me' is incorrect; it should be 'a great way to appreciate his support'.

× Yes, I think singing can bring happiness to people because through singing someone can uh, totally express themselves if there is sometimes because sometimes they cannot express umm themselves and through talking to someone, but they can express themselves through singing so.

✓ Yes, I think singing can bring happiness to people because through singing, someone can totally express themselves. Sometimes, they cannot express themselves through talking to someone, but they can express themselves through singing.

The original sentence is run-on and confusing. Adding commas and splitting into two sentences improves clarity. The phrase 'if there is sometimes because sometimes' is redundant and corrected to 'Sometimes'. Also, 'through talking to someone' is the correct prepositional phrase.