唱歌— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Câu trả lời của bạn khá dài và có một số lỗi ngữ pháp cũng như cách dùng từ chưa chính xác, ví dụ như 'the ambience the music bring to me' nên là 'the ambience the music brings to me'. Bạn nên sử dụng câu ngắn gọn, rõ ràng và tránh lặp từ như 'I can feel' nhiều lần. Hãy cố gắng sử dụng các liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn.

範例: Yes, I like singing because it helps me feel the rhythm and energy of the music. Moreover, the ambience created by music allows me to relax and unwind after a hard day's work.

建議: Bạn nên sử dụng thì quá khứ đơn cho các hành động đã xảy ra trong quá khứ và tránh dùng các cụm từ không tự nhiên như 'didn't really remember anything about this' hay 'didn't ring a bell for me'. Hãy trả lời trực tiếp và rõ ràng hơn, đồng thời dùng các liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc.

範例: Yes, I learned how to sing when I was in secondary school. However, I don't remember much about the lessons, especially about rhythm.

建議: Câu trả lời có nhiều lỗi ngữ pháp và lặp từ như 'I, I, I'. Bạn nên tránh lặp lại từ và nói rõ ràng hơn. Ngoài ra, câu 'this is not about seeing' không phù hợp với ngữ cảnh. Hãy tập trung trả lời trực tiếp câu hỏi và sử dụng các liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc hơn.

範例: I usually sing for myself because I'm not confident about my singing ability. I enjoy singing as a way to relax and ease my mind.

建議: Bạn nên sử dụng các cụm từ chính xác hơn như 'feel down in the dumps' thay vì 'down in the dump'. Ngoài ra, câu 'it feel relaxed' nên là 'it makes me feel relaxed'. Hãy sử dụng các liên từ để câu trả lời mạch lạc và tránh lỗi ngữ pháp.

範例: Yes, I believe singing can bring happiness. Whenever I feel down in the dumps, I go to a karaoke store to sing, which makes me feel relaxed and happier.

× I can feel the rhythm of the music and enjoy the ambience the music bring to me and I can feel the energy of the music so it is a good way for me to unwind after a hard work day.

✓ I can feel the rhythm of the music and enjoy the ambience the music brings to me and I can feel the energy of the music so it is a good way for me to unwind after a hard work day.

The verb 'bring' should be in the third person singular form 'brings' to agree with the singular subject 'the music'. This is a subject-verb agreement issue where the verb must match the subject in number.

× When I was a secondary student, I used to learn how to sing.

✓ When I was a secondary student, I used to learn how to sing.

No correction needed here as 'used to learn' correctly expresses a past habitual action.

× I was taught in my secondary school, but I didn't really remember anything about this.

✓ I was taught in my secondary school, but I don't really remember anything about this.

The verb 'didn't really remember' is in the past tense, but the speaker is referring to a current state of not remembering. Therefore, the present tense 'don't really remember' is appropriate.

× It didn't ring a bell for me whenever I see anything about the rhythm.

✓ It doesn't ring a bell for me whenever I see anything about the rhythm.

The sentence mixes past tense 'didn't ring' with present tense 'see'. To maintain consistency and express a general truth, present tense 'doesn't ring' should be used.

× Myself, I think this is not about seeing.

✓ For myself, I think this is not about singing.

'Myself' is incorrectly used as a subject. Also, 'seeing' is likely a mistake for 'singing' given the context. The phrase 'For myself' is more appropriate to express personal opinion.

× I, I, I don't think for anyone else to hear because I'm not really confident about my voice, my ability to sing a song.

✓ I don't think it's for anyone else to hear because I'm not really confident about my voice or my ability to sing a song.

The repeated 'I' is unnecessary and awkward. Also, the phrase 'I don't think for anyone else to hear' is incorrect; it should be 'I don't think it's for anyone else to hear' to clarify meaning.

× I want to relax, to ease my mind by singing.

✓ I want to relax and ease my mind by singing.

The phrase 'to relax, to ease my mind' is grammatically correct but can be improved by connecting the two actions with 'and' for better flow.

× I often go to a karaoke store to sing and it feel relaxed.

✓ I often go to a karaoke store to sing and it feels relaxing.

The verb 'feel' should be in third person singular 'feels' to agree with the subject 'it'. Also, 'relaxed' is an adjective describing a state, but here 'relaxing' (present participle) better describes the effect of singing.