唱歌— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Try to use clearer and more natural expressions. Avoid redundancy and grammatical errors. For example, instead of 'Singing embodies for me hapiness and it's a emulate me to be cheerful always,' say 'Singing makes me feel happy and helps me stay cheerful.'

範例: Yes, I like singing because it helps me relieve stress. Singing makes me feel happy and helps me stay cheerful.

建議: Focus on correct verb forms and clearer sentence structure. Use linking words to connect ideas logically. For example, say 'Yes, I learned how to sing with the help of my grandmother, who always encouraged me to practice daily.'

範例: Yes, I learned how to sing with the help of my grandmother, who always encouraged me to practice daily.

建議: Avoid repetition and improve sentence clarity. Use linking words properly. For example, say 'I want to sing for my brother because he enjoys music. When he feels stressed, singing for him cheers him up and makes him happy.'

範例: I want to sing for my brother because he enjoys music. When he feels stressed, singing for him cheers him up and makes him happy.

建議: Use appropriate vocabulary and correct grammar. Avoid unclear words like 'poo cheerful'. For example, say 'I believe singing brings happiness. When I sing my favorite songs, I feel relaxed, cheerful, and less stressed, which creates a joyful atmosphere.'

範例: I believe singing brings happiness. When I sing my favorite songs, I feel relaxed, cheerful, and less stressed, which creates a joyful atmosphere.

× Singing embodies for me hapiness and it's a emulate me to be cheerful always.

✓ Singing embodies happiness for me and it encourages me to be cheerful always.

The word 'hapiness' is misspelled; it should be 'happiness'. The phrase 'it's a emulate me' is incorrect; 'emulate' is a verb and does not fit here. The correct verb is 'encourages' to express motivation. Also, 'always' is better placed at the end of the sentence for natural flow.

× Yes, I learn how to seeing because of the help of my grandmother.

✓ Yes, I learned how to sing because of the help of my grandmother.

The verb 'learn' should be in past tense 'learned' to match the past action. 'How to seeing' is incorrect; the correct form is 'how to sing' using the base verb after 'to'.

× She teaches me always to sink and come daily practice helps me always.

✓ She always teaches me to sing, and daily practice always helps me.

The adverb 'always' should be placed before the verb 'teaches' for correct emphasis. 'Sink' is a misspelling of 'sing'. The sentence structure is awkward; splitting into two clauses improves clarity. 'Come daily practice' is incorrect; it should be 'daily practice' as the subject of the second clause.

× I want to sing for my brother because he really enjoys music. For instance, when he feels stressed, singing for him would make him a cheer him up and enjoy.

✓ I want to sing for my brother because he really enjoys music. For instance, when he feels stressed, singing for him would cheer him up and make him enjoy it.

The phrase 'make him a cheer him up' is incorrect and redundant. The correct form is 'cheer him up'. Also, 'and enjoy' is incomplete; it should specify what he enjoys, so 'make him enjoy it' is added for clarity.

× Personally, I believe singing brings happiness to the people. For example, when I sing my favorite songs, I feel more chill, poo cheerful, less stress singing and also create a joyful atmosphere.

✓ Personally, I believe singing brings happiness to people. For example, when I sing my favorite songs, I feel more relaxed, more cheerful, less stressed, and I also create a joyful atmosphere.

'The people' is incorrect here; 'people' without 'the' is appropriate. 'More chill' is informal and should be 'more relaxed'. 'Poo cheerful' is a typo and should be 'more cheerful'. 'Less stress singing' is incorrect; it should be 'less stressed'. The sentence structure is improved by adding 'and I also' before 'create' for parallelism.