唱歌— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 답변이 자연스럽지 않고 문법적 오류가 많으며, 내용이 중복되고 명확하지 않습니다. 문장을 간결하고 명확하게 구성하고, 주제에 직접적으로 답한 후 구체적인 이유를 덧붙이는 연습이 필요합니다.

範例: Yes, I like singing because it helps me relax when I am alone. I also enjoy creating my own songs and playing the piano, which makes singing my favorite hobby.

建議: 문장이 어색하고 문법 오류가 많아 의사 전달이 어렵습니다. 간단하고 명확한 문장 구조를 사용하고, 시제와 주어-동사 일치를 주의해야 합니다.

範例: Yes, I have taken singing lessons every week from a folk singer-songwriter who is my teacher.

建議: 답변이 불명확하고 중복된 표현이 많습니다. 질문에 직접 답하고, 구체적인 대상과 이유를 명확하게 설명하는 연습이 필요합니다.

範例: I want to sing for people who have lost their loved ones because I hope my songs can comfort them during difficult times.

建議: 문장이 완성되지 않고 의미 전달이 불분명합니다. 명확한 주제 문장과 구체적인 이유를 포함하여 완전한 문장으로 답변하는 연습이 필요합니다.

範例: Absolutely, I believe singing can bring happiness. For example, when I sing my own sad songs, they often move people emotionally and help them feel understood.

× I always thing that I'm all when I'm alone.

✓ I always think that I'm all alone when I'm by myself.

The verb 'thing' is incorrect; it should be 'think' to match the present tense and meaning. Also, 'I'm all' is incomplete and unclear; adding 'alone' clarifies the meaning. 'When I'm alone' is correct but 'when I'm by myself' is a clearer expression.

× It's my hobby to make songs and I like to paint, play the piano.

✓ My hobbies are making songs, painting, and playing the piano.

The original sentence has awkward structure and parallelism issues. Using 'My hobbies are' followed by gerunds creates a clearer and grammatically correct list of activities.

× That's why I like to sing. That's my favorite time.

✓ That's why I like to sing; it's my favorite activity.

The phrase 'That's my favorite time' is unclear and awkward. Replacing it with 'it's my favorite activity' clarifies the meaning and improves sentence flow.

× Yes, I have actually I take singing lesson from the folk are teachers who is singer-songwriter.

✓ Yes, I have. Actually, I take singing lessons from folk teachers who are singer-songwriters.

The sentence mixes present and past tense incorrectly. 'I have' should be followed by a period. 'Take' is present tense and acceptable if the lessons are ongoing. 'Lesson' should be plural 'lessons' to match the context. 'Folk are teachers' is incorrect; it should be 'folk teachers'. 'Who is' should be 'who are' to agree with plural 'teachers'.

× Every week, so I learned. Really.

✓ I learn every week. Really.

'I learned' is past tense, but the context suggests a habitual action, so present tense 'I learn' is appropriate. The sentence 'Every week, so I learned.' is fragmented and unclear; rephrasing improves clarity.

× I want to sing for people who lost their family or. Uh, they're lovers who are really important to their lives.

✓ I want to sing for people who have lost their family or their loved ones who are really important in their lives.

'Lost their family or.' is incomplete; adding 'their loved ones' completes the thought. 'They're lovers' is incorrect pronoun usage; it should be 'their loved ones'. Also, 'important to their lives' is better expressed as 'important in their lives'.

× That's why I make some campaign for the lives. That's why I like to sing for them. That's it.

✓ That's why I organize campaigns for their lives. That's why I like to sing for them. That's it.

'Make some campaign' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'organize campaigns'. The sentence structure is improved for clarity and correctness.

× Because when I make composed my song.

✓ Because when I compose my song,

The phrase 'make composed' is incorrect; 'compose' is the correct verb. The sentence is incomplete and needs to be connected properly.

× I thought I couldn't do it, but when I sing my own song, which is really sad, but many people cried and.

✓ I thought I couldn't do it, but when I sang my own song, which was really sad, many people cried.

The verb tenses are inconsistent. 'Sing' should be past tense 'sang' to match 'thought'. 'Is' should be 'was' to maintain past tense. The sentence was incomplete; removing 'and' and completing the thought improves clarity.