唱歌— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Try to make your answer more natural and coherent by avoiding incomplete sentences and redundancy. Use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly and keep your answer concise within 5 sentences.

範例: Yes, I love singing because it helps me feel better and relaxed. Whenever I feel agitated by people, singing calms me down and makes me feel collected.

建議: Improve sentence structure and clarity by avoiding fragmented sentences and unclear phrases. Use linking words to explain your experience clearly and keep your answer focused and natural.

範例: Yes, I took music classes when I was younger, although I wasn't very consistent. It was an interesting phase because I met many singers who later became celebrities in Nigeria. However, I still enjoy singing mostly in my free time.

建議: Make your answer more fluent by combining short sentences and using linking words. Also, correct minor errors like 'carrier' to 'career' and avoid redundancy.

範例: I would love to sing for my grandpa because he bought me my first flute and has always encouraged my music, even though I didn't pursue it as a career. He has been very supportive and interested in my musical journey.

建議: Enhance clarity and grammar by correcting errors and using linking words to connect ideas. Keep your answer natural and avoid repetition.

範例: I believe singing uplifts people's spirits, including mine. Whenever I feel low and start singing, I feel relaxed and motivated to pursue other things. Therefore, singing can bring joy to people and help them forget their sorrows.

× Even though I'm not the best singer out there.

✓ Even though I'm not the best singer out there,

This sentence is a dependent clause and cannot stand alone. It needs to be connected to an independent clause to form a complete sentence. Adding a comma and connecting it to the previous or next sentence improves clarity and grammatical correctness.

× This is because I'm singing helps me to feel better and also relaxed and.

✓ This is because singing helps me to feel better and also relaxed.

The phrase 'I'm singing helps' is incorrect because 'I'm' (I am) should not be followed directly by a verb in the base form. Instead, the gerund 'singing' should be used as the subject of the verb 'helps'. Also, the sentence ends abruptly with 'and' which is incomplete and should be removed.

× Times when I will be agitated by people.

✓ There are times when I am agitated by people.

The original sentence is a fragment lacking a main verb and subject. Adding 'There are' and changing the tense to present simple 'am' completes the sentence and makes it grammatically correct.

× When I start to sing, I find myself being very calm and collected.

✓ When I start to sing, I find myself very calm and collected.

The phrase 'being very calm and collected' is awkward here. The verb 'find' is typically followed by an adjective phrase without 'being'. Removing 'being' makes the sentence more natural and grammatically correct.

× Yes, when I was much younger I took up music class.

✓ Yes, when I was much younger I took up music classes.

The phrase 'music class' should be plural 'music classes' to indicate multiple sessions or a general activity. Also, 'took up' is correctly in past tense matching 'was'.

× This is because I met a lot of singers have gone on to become celebrities in Nigeria and this thing professionally.

✓ This is because I met a lot of singers who have gone on to become celebrities in Nigeria and pursued this professionally.

The original sentence is missing the relative pronoun 'who' to connect 'singers' and the clause 'have gone on...'. Also, 'this thing professionally' is unclear and should be replaced with 'pursued this professionally' for clarity.

× But overall, I still think in my comfort time.

✓ But overall, I still think about it in my comfort time.

The phrase 'think in my comfort time' is incomplete and unclear. Adding 'about it' clarifies what is being thought about, and the sentence becomes grammatically correct.

× I would love to sing for my grandpa.

✓ I would love to sing for my grandpa.

This sentence is correct; no article error is present here.

× And he has always been encouraging towards my music even though I didn't take it up as a carrier.

✓ And he has always been encouraging towards my music even though I didn't take it up as a career.

The word 'carrier' is incorrect here; the correct word is 'career' which means a profession or occupation. This is a vocabulary error rather than a pronoun error, but correcting it improves clarity.

× He has always been very outspoken and interested in my music life.

✓ He has always been very outspoken and interested in my musical life.

The phrase 'music life' is awkward. Using the adjective 'musical' to modify 'life' is more natural and grammatically correct.

× I believe singing has a way of uplifting people, spirits, even I myself.

✓ I believe singing has a way of uplifting people's spirits, even myself.

The phrase 'people, spirits' is incorrect; it should be 'people's spirits' to show possession. Also, 'even I myself' is awkward; 'even myself' is more natural.

× Whenever I feel so low and I start seeing, I find myself being relaxed and also been motivated to pursue other things.

✓ Whenever I feel so low and I start singing, I find myself relaxed and also motivated to pursue other things.

The word 'seeing' is incorrect; it should be 'singing' to match context. Also, 'being relaxed and also been motivated' is incorrect; it should be 'relaxed and also motivated' without auxiliary verbs for correct parallel structure.

× So I believe singing for people has a way to bring joy to them and make them forget their sorrows.

✓ So I believe singing for people has a way of bringing joy to them and making them forget their sorrows.

The phrase 'has a way to bring' is less natural than 'has a way of bringing'. Using the gerund form after 'a way of' is grammatically correct and more idiomatic.