巧克力— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Your answer is generally clear and relevant, but you can improve by correcting grammar (e.g., 'more healthier' should be 'healthier') and making the sentence more concise. Also, avoid redundancy by not repeating the same idea twice.

範例: Yes, I like eating chocolate, especially dark chocolate because it is healthier and its bitter flavor gives me more satisfaction.

建議: Try to avoid filler words like 'uh' and be more concise. Also, improve sentence structure and grammar, for example, 'if you overly eat that' should be 'if you eat too much'. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

範例: I usually eat chocolate twice a week because although dark chocolate is healthier, eating too much can cause health problems.

建議: Avoid starting with 'But' and reduce redundancy such as 'my parents, they'. Also, try to combine sentences for better flow and use more precise vocabulary.

範例: I rarely ate chocolate as a child because my family was not wealthy, so I only had it once or twice a year.

建議: Avoid repeating 'you can use chocolate' twice. Improve grammar such as 'which is seems as' to 'which is seen as'. Provide more specific reasons and use linking words for coherence.

範例: Chocolate is popular worldwide because it can be used to make various products like beverages, cakes, and candies. Moreover, dark chocolate is considered beneficial for health.

建議: Improve grammar and sentence structure, for example, 'can make me have more satisfaction' can be 'gives me more satisfaction'. Avoid redundancy like 'more healthy is a healthier'. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

範例: My favourite flavour is dark chocolate because its bitter taste gives me more satisfaction, and it is a healthier choice due to its antioxidants that benefit the heart.

建議: Avoid filler words like 'uh' and improve sentence clarity, for example, 'there will be some sensitive skin appear' should be 'she develops sensitive skin'. Use linking words to make your answer more coherent.

範例: I think it depends because some people are allergic to chocolate. For instance, my colleague develops sensitive skin whenever she eats chocolate, so it really depends on the person.

× Yeah, I do like eating chocolate and normally I prefer to go for the dark chocolate because it's more healthier and also the bitter flavor of it can give me more satisfaction.

✓ Yeah, I do like eating chocolate and normally I prefer to go for the dark chocolate because it's healthier and also the bitter flavor of it can give me more satisfaction.

The word 'more healthier' is incorrect because 'healthier' is already a comparative adjective. Adding 'more' before it is redundant. The correct form is simply 'healthier'.

× Wow, normally I eat chocolate uh, twice a week even though I prefer the dark chocolate ones.

✓ Wow, normally I eat chocolate, uh, twice a week even though I prefer dark chocolate ones.

The definite article 'the' before 'dark chocolate ones' is unnecessary here because we are talking about a general preference, not specific chocolates. Removing 'the' makes the sentence more natural.

× It seems healthier, but if you overly eat that it can also cause you some body health problems so I prefer to eat maybe twice a week.

✓ It seems healthier, but if you eat that excessively, it can also cause some health problems, so I prefer to eat it maybe twice a week.

The phrase 'overly eat that' is incorrect; 'eat excessively' is the proper expression. Also, 'some body health problems' is awkward; 'some health problems' is better. Adding 'it' after 'eat' clarifies the object.

× But I did not eat chocolate when I was a kid because at the time my family was not that rich.

✓ But I did not eat chocolate when I was a kid because at that time my family was not that rich.

The phrase 'at the time' is less precise here; 'at that time' is more appropriate to refer to a specific past period.

× So my parents, they couldn't afford to buy chocolate for me all the time.

✓ So my parents couldn't afford to buy chocolate for me all the time.

The pronoun 'they' is redundant after 'my parents'. Removing 'they' improves sentence clarity and correctness.

× Well, you can use chocolate to make a lot of different varieties.

✓ Well, you can use chocolate to make a lot of different varieties of products.

The phrase 'different varieties' is incomplete; specifying 'varieties of products' clarifies the meaning.

× Also there's dark chocolate which is seems as a good treat to our body health.

✓ Also there's dark chocolate which seems to be a good treat for our body health.

The phrase 'which is seems as' is incorrect; it should be 'which seems to be'. Also, 'to our body health' should be 'for our body health' to use the correct preposition.

× Well, I prefer dark chocolate because that's a bitter flavor, can make me have more satisfaction and also is a more healthy is a healthier choice for me since it contains antioxidants which can be benefit for our heart.

✓ Well, I prefer dark chocolate because it has a bitter flavor, can give me more satisfaction, and is a healthier choice for me since it contains antioxidants which can benefit our heart.

The pronoun 'that's' is incorrect here; 'it has' is better to describe the flavor. Also, 'can make me have more satisfaction' is awkward; 'can give me more satisfaction' is more natural. The phrase 'is a more healthy is a healthier choice' is redundant; 'is a healthier choice' suffices. Finally, 'can be benefit' should be 'can benefit'.

× Well, I think it depends because for some people they are allergic to chocolate ingredients.

✓ Well, I think it depends because some people can be allergic to chocolate ingredients.

Using 'can be allergic' expresses possibility more accurately than 'are allergic' when speaking generally.

× For example, my colleague, uh, she's the one who is allergic to chocolate.

✓ For example, my colleague, uh, is allergic to chocolate.

The phrase 'she's the one who is allergic' is wordy; simplifying to 'is allergic' is clearer and more concise.

× Whenever she eats chocolate, there will be some sensitive skin appear.

✓ Whenever she eats chocolate, some sensitive skin will appear.

The phrase 'there will be some sensitive skin appear' is incorrect. The correct structure is 'some sensitive skin will appear' without 'there will be'.