巧克力— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Your answer is a bit unclear and has some repetition. Try to make your sentences clear and concise, and avoid repeating the same idea. Use linking words to connect your ideas smoothly.

範例: Yes, I like eating chocolate because it refreshes me when I am very hungry. For example, taking a small piece of chocolate helps me regain energy and continue working effectively.

建議: Your answer is too long and repetitive. Try to be more concise and use linking words to explain your reason clearly. Avoid repeating words unnecessarily.

範例: I usually eat chocolate once or twice a day, especially when I am working and feel hungry because I don't have enough time to eat proper meals.

建議: Your answer has some grammar mistakes and unclear parts. Try to organize your answer with a clear topic sentence and supporting details, and use correct grammar.

範例: When I was a kid, my parents did not allow me to eat chocolate. However, I sometimes bought chocolate secretly and hid it in my school bag to enjoy it without their knowledge.

建議: Your answer is repetitive and lacks coherence. Use linking words to connect your ideas and avoid repeating the same words. Also, try to be more specific in your explanation.

範例: Chocolate is popular worldwide because many children love it. Moreover, parents often give chocolate as a gift to kids, which makes it a common and appreciated present globally.

建議: Your answer is a bit unclear and has some grammar errors. Try to express your ideas clearly and use correct grammar. Also, avoid unnecessary words and be concise.

範例: I like almost all kinds of chocolate, but I prefer dark chocolate because it satisfies my hunger and gives me energy to stay active throughout the day.

建議: Your answer is incomplete and unclear at the end. Try to complete your sentences and explain your ideas clearly. Use linking words to make your answer coherent.

範例: Yes, chocolate is a good gift, especially for girls and children because they usually like it. Giving chocolate as a present is always appreciated and suitable for many occasions.

× It really gives me the pleasure of having something and since when I'm very much hungry, I if I take a Chuck small small chocolate and take a bite of a small chocolate, then I get refreshed and I can start working again.

✓ It really gives me the pleasure of having something, and when I'm very hungry, if I take a small piece of chocolate and take a bite, then I get refreshed and can start working again.

The phrase 'since when I'm very much hungry' is incorrect; 'since' is not used to indicate time in this context. Instead, 'when' is appropriate. Also, 'Chuck small small chocolate' is unclear and redundant; it should be 'a small piece of chocolate'. The sentence structure is improved by removing unnecessary words and correcting the verb forms.

× Every day I eat chocolate once or twice because when I am let's say I am working and in the middle of the work I feel very hungry because because maybe I am not eating anything and I do not have sufficient time.

✓ Every day I eat chocolate once or twice because, let's say, when I am working and in the middle of the work I feel very hungry, maybe because I have not eaten anything and do not have sufficient time.

The sentence had redundant and awkward phrasing. 'Because because' is repeated unnecessarily. 'I am not eating anything' should be in present perfect 'I have not eaten anything' to indicate an action not done up to now. The sentence is corrected for clarity and proper tense usage.

× When I was a kid, my parents did not allow me to eat chocolate. They only if they see that I'm eating a chocolate. They always scold me.

✓ When I was a kid, my parents did not allow me to eat chocolate. If they saw me eating chocolate, they always scolded me.

The sentence incorrectly mixes present tense 'see' and 'I'm' with past tense context. It should be 'If they saw me eating chocolate' and 'they always scolded me' to maintain past tense consistency.

× So I had to eat chocolate on my own by buying some from the shop and I always hide the chocolate in my school bag.

✓ So I had to eat chocolate on my own by buying some from the shop, and I always hid the chocolate in my school bag.

The verb 'hide' should be in past tense 'hid' to match the past context. The pronoun usage is correct but the verb tense needs adjustment.

× So in the world you there are a lot of kids and a lot of parents are there.

✓ So in the world, there are a lot of kids and a lot of parents.

The phrase 'you there are' is incorrect. The correct structure is 'there are' to indicate existence. Also, 'a lot of parents are there' is redundant; 'a lot of parents' suffices.

× And it's a very good gift to to give any, anyone who has any family who has a little kid in their house.

✓ And it's a very good gift to give to anyone who has a family with a little kid in their house.

The phrase 'to to give any, anyone who has any family' is awkward and redundant. Correct pronoun usage and preposition 'to give to anyone' improves clarity.

× Well, I like almost all of all kind of chocolates very much, but I usually take the dark chocolate more often because it is it can satisfy my hunger more and it gives me energy and keep me posted for the world.

✓ Well, I like almost all kinds of chocolates very much, but I usually eat dark chocolate more often because it can satisfy my hunger more, gives me energy, and keeps me alert throughout the day.

'Almost all of all kind' is incorrect; it should be 'almost all kinds'. 'Take' is better replaced with 'eat' for food. 'Keep me posted for the world' is unclear; 'keeps me alert throughout the day' is a clearer expression. Subject-verb agreement corrected in 'keeps me'.

× Yes, it is a very good gift to for others, especially if the person is a girl or a little kid.

✓ Yes, it is a very good gift for others, especially if the person is a girl or a little kid.

The phrase 'to for others' is incorrect; only one preposition 'for' is needed after 'gift'.

× They like the chocolate very much and it's always good to give the chocolate while you will not get while you are out of.

✓ They like chocolate very much, and it's always good to give chocolate as a gift when you are out.

The original sentence is incomplete and confusing. 'While you will not get while you are out of' is unclear. The corrected sentence clarifies the meaning and improves sentence structure.