巧克力— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Try to make your answer more natural and concise. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases like "on the huge pleasure." Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and provide clear reasons for your preference.

範例: Yes, I really enjoy eating chocolate, especially when I'm feeling stressed. For instance, during exam preparation, I used to eat a lot of chocolate because it helped me feel happier by releasing dopamine.

建議: Improve your answer by using correct grammar and clearer linking words. Avoid redundancy and be more specific about the drawbacks. Also, try to keep your sentences concise and coherent.

範例: I used to eat chocolate every day when I was a student, but now I rarely eat it because it contains a lot of sugar, which can lead to weight gain and health problems.

建議: Avoid filler words like 'uh' and 'umm' to make your answer sound more fluent. Use proper sentence structure and clarify unclear phrases such as 'as a trip or compliment.'

範例: Yes, I often ate chocolate as a child because it was my favourite snack. My mother used to buy it for me after work as a treat.

建議: Make your answer more coherent by using linking words and clearer explanations. Avoid vague phrases like 'and all' and improve sentence structure for better clarity.

範例: Chocolate is popular worldwide for several reasons. For instance, luxury brands produce high-quality chocolate, and some people buy it to show their social status by sharing it on social media.

建議: Try to avoid filler words and improve grammar, such as subject-verb agreement. Use linking words to connect your ideas clearly and keep your answer concise.

範例: My favourite flavour of chocolate is coffee because I love drinking coffee. The aroma helps me stay focused, especially when I am tired, and it also helps me relax.

建議: Avoid filler words and improve sentence structure for clarity. Use linking words to organise your points logically and be more specific about why chocolate may not be a good gift.

範例: I don't think chocolate is always a good gift because not everyone likes it. Additionally, it is quite sweet and unhealthy due to the high sugar content. Moreover, it can be difficult to keep chocolate fresh.

× I love eating chocolate very much, especially when I am on the huge pleasure.

✓ I love eating chocolate very much, especially when I am in huge pleasure.

The phrase 'on the huge pleasure' is incorrect because the preposition 'on' does not collocate with 'pleasure' in this context. The correct preposition is 'in' to express being in a state of pleasure.

× For example umm I when I was was preparing for the exam, I used to eat plenty of chocolates because it makes me feel happier with the release of dopamine.

✓ For example, when I was preparing for the exam, I used to eat plenty of chocolates because it made me feel happier with the release of dopamine.

The verb 'makes' should be in the past tense 'made' to agree with the past context 'used to eat' and 'was preparing'. Also, the repeated word 'was' is a typographical error and should be corrected.

× I used to eat chocolate everyday when I was a student, but I know there is a lot of drawbacks eating chocolate.

✓ I used to eat chocolate every day when I was a student, but I know there are a lot of drawbacks to eating chocolate.

The word 'everyday' is an adjective meaning 'commonplace'; the correct adverb is 'every day' (two words). Also, 'there is' should be 'there are' to agree with the plural noun 'drawbacks'. Additionally, 'drawbacks eating chocolate' is missing the preposition 'to'.

× I used to eat chocolate everyday when I was a student, but I know there is a lot of drawbacks eating chocolate.

✓ I used to eat chocolate every day when I was a student, but I know there are a lot of drawbacks to eating chocolate.

The phrase 'there is a lot of drawbacks' is incorrect because 'drawbacks' is plural, so the verb should be 'are' instead of 'is'. Also, 'a lot of' is followed by plural noun, so 'are' is appropriate.

× For example, it contains a lot of sugar which makes me get fatter and fatter and also which may hinder my health so I seldom eat it.

✓ For example, it contains a lot of sugar which makes me get fatter and fatter and also may hinder my health, so I seldom eat it.

The phrase 'which may hinder my health' is correct but the second 'which' is unnecessary and disrupts sentence flow. Removing the second 'which' improves clarity.

× When I was a kid, I used to eat uh, chocolate every day because it is my favorite, umm, snacks.

✓ When I was a kid, I used to eat chocolate every day because it was my favourite snack.

'Chocolate' is singular and uncountable here, so 'snacks' (plural) is incorrect. Also, 'it is' should be 'it was' to match past tense. 'Favourite snack' is the correct singular form.

× My mom, uh, bought it to me, uh, once she finished her work and as a trip or compliment.

✓ My mom bought it for me once she finished her work as a treat or compliment.

The verb 'bought' takes the preposition 'for' when indicating the recipient, not 'to'. Also, 'trip' is incorrect in this context; 'treat' is the appropriate word.

× Chocolate is famous worldwide for several reasons. For example, some chocolate is produced by the luxury brands some.

✓ Chocolate is famous worldwide for several reasons. For example, some chocolate is produced by luxury brands.

The phrase 'the luxury brands some' is ungrammatical and redundant. Removing 'some' at the end corrects the sentence structure.

× Therefore, some individuals would like to showcase their high rank in the society so they will buy it and then post it into the social media and all.

✓ Therefore, some individuals would like to showcase their high rank in society, so they buy it and then post it on social media and so on.

'In the society' should be 'in society' without 'the'. 'Post it into the social media' is incorrect; the correct preposition is 'on'. 'And all' is informal; 'and so on' is more appropriate.

× My favorite flavor of chocolate would be the coffee flavored because I really love drinking coffee and the smells of coffee can helps me stay focused uh when especially when I am very tired and also the aroma of the coffee can help me reflect.

✓ My favourite flavour of chocolate would be coffee-flavoured because I really love drinking coffee and the smell of coffee can help me stay focused, especially when I am very tired. Also, the aroma of coffee can help me reflect.

'Coffee flavored' should be 'coffee-flavoured' as a compound adjective. 'Smells' should be singular 'smell' to refer to the general scent. 'Can helps' is incorrect; modal verb 'can' is followed by base verb 'help'. Sentence is long and benefits from splitting for clarity.

× My favorite flavor of chocolate would be the coffee flavored because I really love drinking coffee and the smells of coffee can helps me stay focused uh when especially when I am very tired and also the aroma of the coffee can help me reflect.

✓ My favourite flavour of chocolate would be coffee-flavoured because I really love drinking coffee and the smell of coffee can help me stay focused, especially when I am very tired. Also, the aroma of coffee can help me reflect.

The modal verb 'can' should be followed by the base form of the verb without 's'. Therefore, 'can helps' is incorrect; it should be 'can help'.

× I don't think chocolate is always a good gift because not everyone like eating chocolate and also to some of the people chocolate is quite sweet, uh and not healthy with a lot of sugar.

✓ I don't think chocolate is always a good gift because not everyone likes eating chocolate, and for some people, chocolate is quite sweet and not healthy due to a lot of sugar.

'Not everyone like' should be 'not everyone likes' to agree with singular subject 'everyone'. 'To some of the people' is awkward; 'for some people' is correct. 'With a lot of sugar' is better expressed as 'due to a lot of sugar'.

× And also it is a challenge for us to keep it fresh.

✓ Also, it is a challenge for us to keep it fresh.

Starting a sentence with 'And also' is redundant and informal. Using 'Also' alone is more appropriate in formal speech or writing.