巧克力— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Your answer is somewhat clear but could be more natural and concise. Avoid redundancy like "Till date" at the end, and improve sentence structure for clarity. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

範例: I didn't like chocolate when I was a child, but my taste has changed over time. Now, I especially enjoy chocolate cakes and cookies because of their rich flavor.

建議: Your answer provides relevant information but is fragmented and lacks smooth flow. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid short, incomplete sentences. Also, clarify your current habits more clearly.

範例: I used to eat chocolate every other day, buying it from the store whenever I wanted. However, after learning about health concerns, I now only eat dark chocolate occasionally.

建議: Your answer is somewhat repetitive and lacks coherence. Avoid short, choppy sentences and use linking words to connect ideas. Also, be more specific about your feelings and habits.

範例: As a child, I disliked chocolate and sugary foods in general. Over time, my taste changed, and now I enjoy sweets. Back then, if someone gave me chocolate, I would usually give it to my brother.

建議: Your answer has good points but is somewhat repetitive and lacks clear structure. Use linking words to connect ideas and avoid repeating the same information. Also, explain why chocolate is more pleasurable than other sweets.

範例: Chocolate is popular worldwide because it contains sugar, which children especially enjoy. Moreover, its unique taste and texture make it more pleasurable than other sugary treats, although it should be consumed in moderation for health reasons.

建議: Your answer is unclear and contains grammatical errors. Be specific and use proper sentence structure. Also, avoid vague phrases like "in that I like the chocolate."

範例: Since childhood, I've liked strawberry-flavored chocolate. As I grew older, I tried other flavors and now enjoy chocolate with hazelnut and blueberry.

建議: Your answer is confusing and contains grammatical mistakes. Make your point clear and concise, and avoid redundancy. Use linking words to improve coherence.

範例: Chocolate is a gift that people of all ages usually enjoy, so it's a safe choice when you're unsure of someone's preferences.

× When I was a child, I was never interested in chocolates or sweets.

✓ When I was a child, I was never interested in chocolate or sweets.

The word 'chocolate' is generally used as an uncountable noun when referring to the substance in general, so 'chocolates' is incorrect here. Use 'chocolate' to refer to the substance or category.

× Particularly chocolate cakes in the cookies that are made of chocolate.

✓ Particularly chocolate cakes and cookies that are made of chocolate.

The original sentence is incomplete and confusing. 'Chocolate cakes in the cookies' is incorrect. It should be 'chocolate cakes and cookies' to list both items properly.

× My mind set on chocolate has evolved since my childhood. Till date.

✓ My mindset on chocolate has evolved since my childhood till date.

The phrase 'mind set' should be one word 'mindset'. Also, 'Till date' is a fragment and should be connected to the previous sentence for clarity.

× Earlier I used to eat chocolate. Every alternate day and I used to get it from the store. Whenever I want to eat.

✓ Earlier, I used to eat chocolate every alternate day and I used to get it from the store whenever I wanted to eat it.

The original sentences are fragmented and lack proper connection. 'Every alternate day' and 'Whenever I want to eat' should be part of the same sentence for clarity and correct tense usage.

× I only dark chocolates.

✓ I only eat dark chocolates.

The sentence lacks a verb. Adding 'eat' clarifies the action and corrects the sentence structure.

× But after knowing the health concerns that chocolate has, I have stopped eating normal chocolates.

✓ But after learning about the health concerns that chocolate has, I stopped eating normal chocolates.

The phrase 'after knowing' is awkward; 'after learning about' is better. Also, 'have stopped' should be 'stopped' to maintain past tense consistency with 'after'.

× I used to give my chocolates to my brother.

✓ I used to give my chocolate to my brother.

When referring to chocolate in general or as a substance, use the singular 'chocolate' instead of 'chocolates' unless referring to individual pieces.

× Whenever someone gives it to me.

✓ Whenever someone gave it to me.

This is a sentence fragment. It should be connected to the previous sentence or rewritten as a complete sentence with proper tense.

× Chocolate is being made of sugar and it is popular around the world, particularly among children.

✓ Chocolate is made of sugar and it is popular around the world, particularly among children.

The phrase 'is being made of sugar' is incorrect. The correct form is 'is made of sugar' to indicate composition.

× Children like to have sweet things. And chocolate gives them more pleasure rather than having something that is made of sugar.

✓ Children like to have sweet things, and chocolate gives them more pleasure than something made of sugar.

Starting a sentence with 'And' is informal and the comparison is awkward. Combining the sentences and correcting the comparison improves clarity.

× Since my childhood, I used to like strawberry flavor.

✓ Since my childhood, I have liked strawberry flavour.

'Used to like' is for past habits; 'since my childhood' implies a continuing preference, so present perfect 'have liked' is appropriate. Also, 'flavour' is the Canadian spelling.

× But after growing up I have tried different flavors of chocolate in that I like the chocolate.

✓ But after growing up, I have tried different flavours of chocolate, and among them, I like chocolate with hazelnut and blueberry.

The original sentence is confusing and incomplete. It needs to be restructured for clarity and to connect ideas properly.

× With hazelnut and blueberry.

✓ I like chocolate with hazelnut and blueberry.

This is a sentence fragment and should be connected to the previous sentence to form a complete thought.

× Chocolate is a particular thing which every age group will like it, so it is good to give a chocolate to a person rather than gifting.

✓ Chocolate is a particular thing which every age group will like, so it is good to give chocolate to a person rather than gifting something unnecessary when we don't know their choices.

The pronoun 'it' is redundant after 'which every age group will like'. Also, 'a chocolate' is incorrect; 'chocolate' is uncountable here.

× Something unnecessary when we don't know their choices. About it.

✓ It is better than gifting something unnecessary when we don't know their choices about it.

These are sentence fragments and should be combined into a complete sentence for clarity.