巧克力— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Жавобингизда грамматик хатолар ва тушунарсизликлар бор. "Dangerous for my thesis" деган ифода нотўғри ва маъносиз. Жавобингизни содда ва аниқ қилиб, сабабларни тушунарли қилиб ифодалашингиз керак.

範例: I don't like eating chocolate because it can affect my health negatively, so I try to avoid it.

建議: Жавобингизда гапларни тўғри тутиш ва мантиқий боғлаш керак. "Traditional some work" деган жумла тушунарсиз. Жавобингизни аниқ ва мантиқий қилиб ифодалаш учун боғловчи сўзлардан фойдаланинг.

範例: I usually eat chocolate about three times a week, but I eat more when I visit my family during traditional celebrations.

建議: Жавобингизда грамматик хатолар ва нотўғри ифодалар бор. "Dangerous for my thesis" деган ифода тушунарсиз. Жавобингизни аниқ ва тўғри қилиб ифодалаш учун содда сўзлардан фойдаланинг ва сабабларни тушунарли қилиб ёзинг.

範例: Yes, I used to eat chocolate often as a child, especially during traditional holidays. However, now I avoid it because I want to stay healthy.

建議: Жавобингизда мантиқий боғланиш ва аниқлик йўқ. "Chocolate fabric" ўрнига "chocolate factory" деб ёзиш керак. Жавобингизни аниқ ва мантиқий қилиб ифодалаш учун боғловчи сўзлардан фойдаланинг ва сабабларни тушунарли қилиб ёзинг.

範例: Chocolate is popular worldwide because many famous brands like Nestle produce it, and movies like Willy Wonka have made it even more famous.

建議: Жавобингизда грамматик хатолар ва тушунарсизликлар бор. "Erase" деган сўз нотўғри ёзилган ва тушунарсиз. Жавобингизни аниқ ва тўғри қилиб ифодалаш учун содда сўзлардан фойдаланинг ва севимли таъмингизни аниқ қилиб ёзинг.

範例: When I was a child, I really liked a chocolate called 'Erase'. Now, I don't eat chocolate often, but I sometimes eat Millennium chocolate once or twice a week.

建議: Жавобингизда грамматик хатолар ва нотўғри ифодалар бор. "Age March" ўрнига "March" ва "woman's day" деб ёзиш керак. Жавобингизни аниқ ва тўғри қилиб ифодалаш учун боғловчи сўзлардан фойдаланинг ва сабабларни тушунарли қилиб ёзинг.

範例: Yes, I think chocolate is a good gift, especially in March during Women's Day. I usually give Millennium chocolate to my mother and girlfriend.

× I don't like anything chocolate because it's dangerous for my thesis and therefore I don't like it chocolate.

✓ I don't like any chocolate because it's dangerous for my health and therefore I don't like chocolate.

The phrase 'anything chocolate' is incorrect; 'any chocolate' is the correct quantifier to use with uncountable nouns like 'chocolate'. Also, 'thesis' seems to be a wrong word here; 'health' fits better in context.

× Oh, I think I eat chocolate and three times a week.

✓ Oh, I think I eat chocolate about three times a week.

The phrase 'and three times a week' is incorrect; 'about three times a week' is the correct quantifier phrase to express frequency.

× But when I go somewhere with my family too. Traditional some work.

✓ But when I go somewhere with my family too, especially during traditional events.

The original sentences are fragmented and unclear. Combining them and clarifying the meaning improves sentence structure.

× I eat a lot of chocolate in there.

✓ I eat a lot of chocolate there.

The phrase 'in there' is unnecessary; 'there' suffices. Also, 'a lot of chocolate' is correct as chocolate is uncountable.

× I was eating some chocolate when I was child and.

✓ I used to eat some chocolate when I was a child.

The past continuous 'was eating' is less appropriate here; 'used to eat' better expresses habitual past action. Also, 'a child' requires the article 'a'.

× But now I don't like it chocolate because it's dangerous for my thesis.

✓ But now I don't like chocolate because it's dangerous for my health.

'It chocolate' is incorrect; simply 'chocolate' is correct. Also, 'thesis' should be 'health'.

× I think especially it's a popular after the Willy Wonka film because it's connection with chocolate fabric and I love that film.

✓ I think especially it's popular after the Willy Wonka film because of its connection with the chocolate factory and I love that film.

The preposition 'after' is correct but 'a popular' should be 'popular'. 'Because it's connection' should be 'because of its connection'. 'Fabric' is incorrect; 'factory' is the correct word.

× When I was a child I really like 1 chocolate which is call it erase and.

✓ When I was a child I really liked one chocolate which is called 'Erase'.

'Really like' should be past tense 'really liked' to match 'when I was a child'. '1' should be spelled out as 'one'. 'Call it erase' should be 'called 'Erase''.

× But now I don't like every chocolate is but.

✓ But now I don't like every chocolate.

The phrase 'is but' is incorrect and unnecessary; removing it corrects the sentence.

× Three times or two times I eat Millennium. In the week.

✓ I eat Millennium chocolate two or three times a week.

The sentence structure is incorrect; placing the frequency phrase correctly improves clarity.

× I think yeah, especially in the age March because it's traditional womans day and therefore I give my mother and my girlfriend chocolate is especially Millennium.

✓ I think, yeah, especially in March because it's traditional Women's Day and therefore I give my mother and my girlfriend chocolate, especially Millennium.

'In the age March' is incorrect; it should be 'in March'. 'Womans day' should be 'Women's Day'. The sentence is restructured for clarity.