耐心— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Cải thiện ngữ pháp và sự rõ ràng: tránh lỗi cấu trúc (ví dụ “help me so my problem effectively”), dùng câu chủ đề rõ ràng và ngắn gọn, và thêm một ví dụ cụ thể hơn. Cố gắng giới hạn câu không quá 5 câu, dùng linking words hợp lý như “because” hoặc “for example”.

範例: I would say I'm generally a patient person because I stay calm under pressure. For example, when I'm studying for exams, I break tasks into small steps and tackle them one at a time to avoid feeling overwhelmed. However, I sometimes get frustrated if progress is too slow.

建議: Sửa lỗi từ vựng và cấu trúc câu, tránh những phần thừa như “Almost important question”. Nên dùng linking words (“First”, “Also”) để liệt kê nguyên nhân và cung cấp ví dụ cụ thể. Chú ý mệnh đề nguyên nhân đúng (e.g., “it makes me feel” not “it's made me feel”).

範例: First, I get impatient when someone is late without telling me because it feels disrespectful. Also, unstable internet during an important online test frustrates me and makes it hard to concentrate, which affects my performance.

建議: Chú ý ngữ pháp (ví dụ “immerse myself in it”, “take short breaks”), dùng cấu trúc mạch lạc: chủ đề + nguyên nhân + ví dụ. Giữ câu ngắn gọn, dùng linking words như “however” hoặc “otherwise”.

範例: If a task is meaningful and interesting, I become fully engaged and can immerse myself in it for hours because it stimulates me. However, if the work is boring and repetitive, I lose focus, so I take short breaks to recharge and maintain productivity.

建議: Sửa ngữ pháp và từ vựng (ví dụ “patience will be essential” chứ không phải “patient will be accessible”), tránh lặp từ, viết câu cuối rõ ràng. Nên liên kết ý với từ nối như “for example” và “therefore”.

範例: I don't have a job right now since I'm a second-year business student, but I expect my future role will demand patience. For example, dealing with difficult clients and negotiating contracts requires staying calm and communicating clearly, so patience will be essential for maintaining good relationships.

建議: Sửa thì động từ và trật tự từ (ví dụ “I have grown older”, “I became more patient”). Tránh mâu thuẫn về thời gian và dùng ví dụ rõ ràng: nói cụ thể một trường hợp đã dạy bạn kiên nhẫn. Giữ câu ngắn, mạch lạc.

範例: I am more patient now than when I was a child because growing older and taking on responsibilities has taught me to stay calm. For instance, when I had a disagreement with a classmate, I listened carefully and negotiated a compromise instead of reacting immediately.

× I think it depends on the situation, but generally I try to be a patient person, especially when I'm under pressure.

✓ I think it depends on the situation, but generally I try to be a patient person, especially when I'm under pressure.

No correction needed; sentence uses present simple and present continuous appropriately.

× For example, when I work or study, I always try to stay calm and focus because I would think it will help me so my problem effectively.

✓ For example, when I work or study, I always try to stay calm and focus because I think it will help me solve my problems effectively.

Original has incorrect modal and word order: 'would think' is unnecessary and mismatches certainty; 'so my problem effectively' is ungrammatical. Use present simple 'think' for general belief. Use the verb 'solve' to express resolving problems and plural 'problems' is more natural. Place adverb 'effectively' after the verb phrase.

× However, I also feel frustrated.

✓ However, I also feel frustrated.

No correction needed; present feeling described correctly.

× I usually feel impatient when someone is late and doesn't inform me because it's made me feel angry and disrespectful.

✓ I usually feel impatient when someone is late and doesn't inform me because it makes me feel angry and disrespected.

'It's made me feel' incorrectly combines tense; 'it makes me' (present simple) matches habitual situation. Use adjective 'disrespected' rather than noun 'disrespectful' to describe the speaker's feeling.

× Another situation is when I have to take an online test and my Internet is slow and unstable.

✓ Another situation is when I have to take an online test and the Internet is slow and unstable.

Use 'the Internet' as the fixed noun phrase. Sentence otherwise correct.

× It makes me frustrated and I often lose concentration.

✓ It makes me frustrated, and I often lose concentration.

Add a comma before conjunction linking two independent clauses. Tenses and verbs are correct.

× Almost important question.

✓ This is an almost important question.

Original is a sentence fragment lacking a verb and clear subject. Adding 'This is' completes the sentence; meaning may still be unclear but grammatically correct.

× Well if the test is meaningful and interesting I usually become fully engaged and willing to spend a lot of time in immersed myself on it because I find it stimulating.

✓ Well, if the test is meaningful and interesting, I usually become fully engaged and willing to spend a lot of time immersed in it because I find it stimulating.

Remove unnecessary 'on' after 'immersed' and correct verb form: use 'immersed in it' not 'in immersed myself on it'. Add commas after introductory clause. Use 'immersed' (adjective) rather than reflexive 'myself'.

× But if the work is boring and repetitive I tend to lose focus so I take short break and do something different to stay motivated and regain energy.

✓ But if the work is boring and repetitive, I tend to lose focus, so I take short breaks and do something different to stay motivated and regain energy.

Add commas to separate clauses. 'Short break' should be plural 'short breaks' to match habitual action. 'Regain energy' is correct.

× I don't have a job yet because I am a second year commercial business student, but I believe that my future job will require a lot of patience.

✓ I don't have a job yet because I am a second-year commercial business student, but I believe that my future job will require a lot of patience.

Hyphenate 'second-year' as a compound adjective. Other tense usage is correct.

× For example, I will need to deal with difficult clients and negotiate contracts.

✓ For example, I will need to deal with difficult clients and negotiate contracts.

No correction needed; future simple 'will need' correctly expresses future requirement.

× So I must stay calm, stay focused and develop strong communication and conflict resolution skills.

✓ So I must stay calm, stay focused, and develop strong communication and conflict resolution skills.

Add comma before final item in list for clarity (Oxford comma optional). 'Must' correctly expresses necessity.

× Therefore, patient will be accessible for maintaining good.

✓ Therefore, patience will be necessary for maintaining good relationships and outcomes.

Original used 'patient' (adjective) incorrectly; should be noun 'patience'. 'Accessible' is incorrect in this context; use 'necessary'. Add object 'relationships and outcomes' to complete idea.

× When I was a child, I didn't worry much, but I had become patient, more patient.

✓ When I was a child, I didn't worry much, but I became more patient.

Use simple past 'became' rather than past perfect 'had become' because there's no earlier past reference. Remove redundancy 'patient, more patient.'

× As I have grow older, facing responsibility at work and having to do with everyday problems had taught me to stay calm and wait for better solutions, for example when I had to resolve conflicts with college.

✓ As I have grown older, facing responsibilities at work and dealing with everyday problems has taught me to stay calm and wait for better solutions, for example when I had to resolve conflicts at college.

Use past participle 'grown' after 'have'. 'Facing responsibility' -> plural 'responsibilities'. Use 'dealing with' instead of 'having to do with'. Subject 'facing responsibilities and dealing with problems' is a singular idea, so 'has taught' fits; alternatively use 'have taught' if treating them separately. Use preposition 'at college' to indicate location.