Part 1
考官
Are you a patient person?
考生
Yes, I believe I'm a patient person. I have undergone such hardships in lives in such a young age that I developed this valuable trait that is.
考官
What is it that makes you feel impatient?
考生
It's probably having to wait for something that has a questionable and this makes me, uh, anxious, which leads me to result in feeling impatient.
考官
How do you feel when you have to do something for a long time?
考生
It depends usually on what I'm doing, because I sometimes find long activities that I enjoy much more preferable.
考官
Does your job require you to be patient?
考生
Yes. As the path of my career that I'm leading acquires patience and accuracy when dealing with patients since I'm a nurse.
考官
Are you more patient now than when you were a child?
考生
Yes, I have become much more patient now than when I was a child because I undergoed much more situations that had to, that had that required such a skill in life.
Are you a patient person?
分數: 70.0建議: Try to make your answer more natural and clear by correcting grammar and avoiding redundancy. For example, say "I believe I'm a patient person because I have faced many hardships at a young age, which helped me develop this valuable trait."
範例: Yes, I believe I'm a patient person because I have faced many hardships at a young age, which helped me develop this valuable trait.
What is it that makes you feel impatient?
分數: 60.0建議: Improve clarity and coherence by completing your thoughts and using linking words. For example, say "Waiting for something uncertain makes me anxious, which leads to impatience."
範例: Waiting for something uncertain makes me anxious, which leads to impatience.
How do you feel when you have to do something for a long time?
分數: 65.0建議: Make your answer more direct and clear by structuring it well and avoiding awkward phrasing. For example, say "It depends on the activity; I enjoy long tasks if they interest me."
範例: It depends on the activity; I enjoy long tasks if they interest me.
Does your job require you to be patient?
分數: 70.0建議: Use clearer and more natural phrasing. For example, say "Yes, my career as a nurse requires patience and accuracy when dealing with patients."
範例: Yes, my career as a nurse requires patience and accuracy when dealing with patients.
Are you more patient now than when you were a child?
分數: 65.0建議: Improve grammar and clarity by saying "Yes, I have become much more patient now than when I was a child because I have experienced many situations that required this skill."
範例: Yes, I have become much more patient now than when I was a child because I have experienced many situations that required this skill.
× I have undergone such hardships in lives in such a young age that I developed this valuable trait that is.
✓ I have undergone such hardships in life at such a young age that I developed this valuable trait.
The word 'lives' is incorrect here; the singular form 'life' should be used because it refers to the general experience of living. Also, 'in such a young age' should be 'at such a young age' because 'at' is the correct preposition for ages.
× I have undergone such hardships in lives in such a young age that I developed this valuable trait that is.
✓ I have undergone such hardships in life at such a young age that I developed this valuable trait.
The preposition 'in' is incorrectly used with 'age'; the correct preposition is 'at' when referring to age.
× It's probably having to wait for something that has a questionable and this makes me, uh, anxious, which leads me to result in feeling impatient.
✓ It's probably having to wait for something that is questionable, and this makes me anxious, which leads me to feel impatient.
The phrase 'has a questionable' is incomplete and incorrect; it should be 'is questionable'. Also, 'leads me to result in feeling' is redundant and awkward; 'leads me to feel' is correct.
× It's probably having to wait for something that has a questionable and this makes me, uh, anxious, which leads me to result in feeling impatient.
✓ It's probably having to wait for something that is questionable, and this makes me anxious, which leads me to feel impatient.
The phrase 'leads me to result in feeling' misuses prepositions; 'leads me to feel' is the correct form.
× It depends usually on what I'm doing, because I sometimes find long activities that I enjoy much more preferable.
✓ It usually depends on what I'm doing, because I sometimes find long activities much more preferable when I enjoy them.
The adverb 'usually' is better placed before the verb 'depends' for natural word order. Also, 'that I enjoy much more preferable' is awkward; rephrasing clarifies the meaning.
× Yes. As the path of my career that I'm leading acquires patience and accuracy when dealing with patients since I'm a nurse.
✓ Yes. The path of my career requires patience and accuracy when dealing with patients since I'm a nurse.
The original sentence is awkward and ungrammatical. 'As the path of my career that I'm leading acquires' is incorrect; 'The path of my career requires' is correct and clearer.
× Yes, I have become much more patient now than when I was a child because I undergoed much more situations that had to, that had that required such a skill in life.
✓ Yes, I have become much more patient now than when I was a child because I underwent many more situations that required such a skill in life.
The verb 'undergone' is the past participle and should be used with 'have'; the simple past is 'underwent'. Also, 'much more situations' is incorrect; 'many more situations' is correct because 'situations' is countable.