零食— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 回答は質問に直接答えていますが、文法の誤りや不自然な表現があります。例えば、「eat snack」ではなく「eat snacks」が正しいです。また、「makes my brain better」は不自然なので、「helps me concentrate」など具体的な表現にすると良いでしょう。さらに、文を簡潔にし、冗長な部分を避けることが重要です。

範例: I usually eat snacks when I study or do my homework because they help me concentrate better. This has become an important part of my daily routine.

建議: 回答は質問に答えていますが、文法の誤りや意味の不明瞭な部分があります。例えば、「my point is getting worse」は意味が不明瞭で、「my health gets worse」など具体的に表現しましょう。また、「My height is short」は質問の文脈に合っていません。より具体的で関連性のある理由を述べることが必要です。

範例: In my opinion, eating too many snacks is unhealthy because it can lead to weight gain and other health problems. Therefore, I try to eat them in moderation.

建議: 過去の話なので動詞は過去形の「ate」を使うべきです。また、「chocolate bar which is Japanese snacks」は不自然なので、「Japanese chocolate bars」などと表現しましょう。さらに、文を分けて明確にすると良いです。

範例: When I was a child, I often ate Japanese chocolate bars because they were my favorite snacks. My parents also liked eating chocolate, so we enjoyed them together.

建議: 「owning to the fact that」はフォーマルすぎて不自然ですし、「I think I affect my parents」は意味が逆です。親の影響を受けている場合は「I think my parents influence me」と表現します。より自然で簡潔な表現を心がけましょう。

範例: I like eating different kinds of chocolate because my parents enjoy chocolate too. I think their liking for chocolate has influenced me.

× I always eat snack when I study or do my homework because it makes my brain better and this is my one of the most important routine in my life.

✓ I always eat snacks when I study or do my homework because it makes my brain better and this is one of the most important routines in my life.

The word 'snack' should be plural 'snacks' because it refers to a general habit of eating multiple instances of snacks. Also, 'my one of the most important routine' is incorrect; it should be 'one of the most important routines' because 'one of' is followed by a plural noun and 'my' is unnecessary here.

× In my view, unfortunately not, because if I ate too much snacks, my point is getting worse and. My height is short.

✓ In my view, unfortunately not, because if I eat too many snacks, my skin gets worse. My height is short.

The conditional sentence requires present tense 'eat' after 'if' for a general truth. 'Too much snacks' is incorrect; 'snacks' is countable, so 'too many snacks' is correct. 'My point is getting worse' seems to be a mistranslation or error; likely 'my skin is getting worse' is intended. Also, the sentence was incomplete and needed correction for clarity.

× When I was a child, I always eat chocolate bar which is Japanese snacks because it is my favorite and my parents also like eating some chocolate.

✓ When I was a child, I always ate chocolate bars which are Japanese snacks because they were my favorite and my parents also liked eating some chocolate.

Since the time frame is past ('When I was a child'), the verbs should be in past tense: 'ate' instead of 'eat', 'were' instead of 'is', and 'liked' instead of 'like'. Also, 'chocolate bar' should be plural 'chocolate bars' to match the habitual action.

× I'm fond of eating some kind of chocolate, owning to the fact that my parents like to eat chocolate like me, so I think I affect my parents.

✓ I'm fond of eating some kinds of chocolate, owing to the fact that my parents like to eat chocolate like me, so I think I influence my parents.

The phrase 'owning to' is incorrect; the correct phrase is 'owing to' meaning 'because of'. Also, 'some kind of chocolate' should be 'some kinds of chocolate' if referring to multiple types. 'Affect' is not the best verb here; 'influence' is more appropriate when talking about affecting people's behavior.