零食— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Try to make your answer more concise and natural by avoiding redundancy and unclear expressions. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly. For example, instead of saying "which is unbelievable impossible," you can say "which surprised me." Also, keep your answer within 5 sentences.

範例: I usually don't eat snacks now because I'm on a diet. Recently, I gained about 5 kilograms, which surprised me. Therefore, I am trying to reduce my weight by avoiding snacks.

建議: Your answer is good but can be improved by using more precise vocabulary and better linking words. For example, use "contains" instead of "got," and "harmful" instead of "really bad." Also, try to avoid repeating words like "talking about."

範例: I think it depends on the type of snacks. Packaged snacks sold in the market usually contain many chemicals and unhealthy oils, which are harmful to health. However, fruits as snacks are healthy and beneficial.

建議: Try to improve sentence structure and coherence. Avoid short, incomplete sentences and use linking words to connect ideas. Also, correct grammar mistakes such as "they stop me" should be "they stopped me."

範例: Unfortunately, I did not often eat snacks when I was young. Although I loved sweets and snacks from the grocery, my parents stopped me from eating them since kindergarten, so I rarely had the chance.

建議: Your answer is quite natural but can be more concise and structured. Avoid filler words and repeated phrases. Use linking words to connect your ideas clearly.

範例: If I had to choose, I would pick candies and chips because I enjoy their taste. However, eating chips while reading or watching dramas can be troublesome since they make my fingers oily, which is quite annoying.

× I literally increased my weight for around 5 KG which is unbelievable impossible and I'm not gonna let it happen again so I need to reduce my weight.

✓ I literally gained around 5 KG, which is unbelievably impossible, and I'm not gonna let it happen again, so I need to reduce my weight.

The verb 'increased' is not typically used with 'weight' in this context; 'gained' is the correct past tense verb to describe an increase in body weight. Also, 'unbelievable impossible' is redundant; 'unbelievably impossible' is more appropriate as an adverb modifying 'impossible'. Suggestion: Use 'gained' instead of 'increased' when talking about weight gain.

× If we're talking about the normal snacks that is being sold in the market, the packaged one, then of course it's unhealthy because it got a lot of chemicals and it contains lots of oils, which really bad for your health.

✓ If we're talking about the normal snacks that are being sold in the market, the packaged ones, then of course they're unhealthy because they have a lot of chemicals and contain lots of oils, which are really bad for your health.

The pronouns and verbs must agree in number with their antecedents. 'Snacks' is plural, so 'is' should be 'are', 'one' should be 'ones', 'it' should be 'they', and 'got' should be 'have'. Also, 'which really bad' is missing the verb 'are'. Suggestion: Ensure pronouns and verbs agree in number with the nouns they refer to.

× But if you're talking about in terms of fruits, then it might be good.

✓ But if you're talking in terms of fruits, then it might be good.

The phrase 'talking about in terms of' is redundant. The correct preposition is 'talking in terms of'. Suggestion: Use 'talking in terms of' without 'about'.

× When I was young. I'm kind of like addicted to all those chemicals and sweets that we can borrow from the grocery.

✓ When I was young, I was kind of addicted to all those chemicals and sweets that we could buy from the grocery.

The sentence fragment 'When I was young.' should be connected to the next sentence with a comma. 'I'm' (present tense) should be 'I was' to match the past time frame. 'Can borrow' is incorrect; 'could buy' is appropriate for past ability or habit. 'Borrow' is not suitable for buying sweets. Suggestion: Use past tense verbs consistently when referring to past events and correct verb choice for buying items.

× But my parents, they stop me from eating those since kindergarten, so I don't get the chances to eat those snacks.

✓ But my parents stopped me from eating those since kindergarten, so I didn't get the chance to eat those snacks.

The verb 'stop' should be in past tense 'stopped' to match 'since kindergarten'. 'Don't get' should be 'didn't get' to maintain past tense consistency. 'Chances' should be singular 'chance' in this context. Suggestion: Maintain past tense consistency and use singular 'chance' when referring to opportunity.

× If I really have to choose one, then I think I probably would choose candies and chips.

✓ If I really have to choose one, then I think I probably would choose candy or chips.

'Candies' is less common than 'candy' when referring to sweets in general. Also, 'one' implies a singular choice, so 'and' should be 'or' to reflect choosing one item. Suggestion: Use 'candy or chips' when choosing one item.

× It's just sometimes you feel troublesome because, for example, I like to eat snacks while reading novels or watching dramas.

✓ Sometimes it feels troublesome because, for example, I like to eat snacks while reading novels or watching dramas.

The original sentence has awkward structure. 'It's just sometimes you feel troublesome' is unclear. The corrected sentence clarifies the subject and verb agreement. Suggestion: Use clear subject-verb structure for clarity.

× And whenever I touch the chips, it, it's oily.

✓ And whenever I touch the chips, they are oily.

'Chips' is plural, so the pronoun should be 'they' instead of 'it'. Suggestion: Use plural pronouns to match plural nouns.