零食— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Try to make your answer more natural and clear by avoiding awkward phrasing and redundancy. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add specific details using linking words to improve coherence. For example, instead of 'Unusually, after a meal sometimes I would eat...', say 'I usually eat snacks like ice cream or chocolate after meals because I have a low appetite.'

範例: I usually eat snacks like ice cream or chocolate after meals because I have a low appetite. In fact, I find snacks more appealing than formal meals, as they are easier to eat and satisfy my sweet tooth.

建議: Your answer is a bit unclear and repetitive. Try to express your opinion clearly and support it with reasons using linking words. Avoid hesitation sounds like 'Umm'. For example, say 'I don't think eating snacks is very healthy, but they do help me feel refreshed and improve my mood, which is important for mental health.'

範例: I don't think eating snacks is very healthy, but they do help me feel refreshed and improve my mood, which is important for mental health. Therefore, I try to balance snack consumption with healthy meals.

建議: Your answer lacks clarity and contains unclear phrases like 'I am really seeing.' Try to give a clear topic sentence and support it with specific details using linking words. For example, say 'Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young because my mum frequently bought them for me, probably to help me gain weight.'

範例: Yes, I often ate snacks when I was young because my mum frequently bought them for me. I think she wanted me to gain some weight, so she made sure I had plenty of snacks.

建議: Your answer is generally clear but could be more concise and natural. Use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and avoid repetition. For example, say 'I really like ice cream because it tastes nice and is affordable. I also enjoy trying different kinds of chips, especially new seasonal flavours.'

範例: I really like ice cream because it tastes nice and is affordable. Additionally, I enjoy trying different kinds of chips, especially when new seasonal flavours are available.

× Unusually, after a meal sometimes I would eat ice creams or chocolate, something sweet.

✓ Usually, after a meal, sometimes I would eat ice cream or chocolate, something sweet.

The adverb 'Unusually' is incorrectly placed and should be 'Usually' to express frequency correctly. Also, 'ice creams' is uncountable in this context, so 'ice cream' is preferred. The adverb 'sometimes' should be placed after the time phrase for clarity.

× Actually I am more interested in snacks than the formal meals I am.

✓ Actually, I am more interested in snacks than in formal meals.

The phrase 'the formal meals I am' is incorrect and unclear. The pronoun 'I am' is unnecessary here. The correct comparison is 'snacks than in formal meals' with proper preposition use.

× I have a low appetite and snacks are good to eat so I have more interest in it.

✓ I have a low appetite and snacks are good to eat, so I am more interested in them.

The pronoun 'it' incorrectly refers to 'snacks' which is plural, so 'them' should be used. Also, 'have more interest in it' is better expressed as 'am more interested in them' for natural English.

× I think no, but I think there is a function of snacks as to refresh myself and make myself happy, which I think mental healthy mental health is also important.

✓ I don't think so, but I believe snacks serve the function of refreshing myself and making me happy, which I think is important for mental health.

The sentence has awkward phrasing and article misuse. 'I think no' is better as 'I don't think so'. 'There is a function of snacks' is unnatural; 'snacks serve the function' is better. 'Mental healthy mental health' is redundant and incorrect; 'mental health' is correct.

× Yes, as long as my mom bought me snacks which happened frequently.

✓ Yes, as long as my mom bought me snacks, which happened frequently.

The sentence is missing a comma before the relative clause. The past tense 'bought' is correct here.

× I am really seeing.

✓ I am really skinny.

The phrase 'I am really seeing' is incorrect and unclear. Likely, the intended meaning is 'I am really skinny' or 'I am really thin'. This is a sentence structure and word choice error.

× So I think probably my mom wants me to gain some weight so she buys me snacks.

✓ So I think probably my mom wants me to gain some weight, so she buys me snacks.

The sentence is mostly correct but missing a comma before the second 'so' for clarity.

× Ice creams, I really like ice creams, they taste so nice and cheap.

✓ Ice cream, I really like ice cream; it tastes so nice and is cheap.

'Ice cream' is an uncountable noun and should not be pluralized as 'ice creams'. Also, 'they' should be 'it' to agree with the singular noun 'ice cream'. The adjective 'cheap' should be preceded by 'is' for correct grammar.

× Yes, I like tasting different kinds of chips and when there is a new flavor like seasonal limited flavor out there I would buy it and try it.

✓ Yes, I like tasting different kinds of chips, and when there is a new flavor, like a seasonal limited edition flavor, I buy it and try it.

The phrase 'seasonal limited flavor' is awkward; 'seasonal limited edition flavor' is more natural. Also, 'would buy' is better as 'buy' to indicate habitual action. Commas are added for clarity.