写作— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 回答较为自然，但句子较长且有些冗余。建议简化表达，避免重复，并使用连接词使句子更流畅。

範例: No, I don't write much because I find mobile phones more convenient for recording important events.

建議: 回答结构不够清晰，语法和表达有误。建议先明确主题句，再用具体细节支持，注意时态和语法准确。

範例: I like to write about my baby's daily routines to capture my feelings and memories, so I can look back on them when I grow older.

建議: 回答中断且表达不够连贯。建议使用连接词，理清逻辑，避免语法错误，使表达更自然。

範例: Yes, definitely. As I grow older and gain more experience, my thoughts and feelings about what I write will change.

建議: 表达不够自然，句子结构有误，且用词不当。建议简化句子，使用恰当词汇，明确表达观点。

範例: I prefer typing on my computer or phone because it is more convenient and faster than handwriting.

× I will recall the events or critical things on my mobile phones.

✓ I recall the events or critical things on my mobile phones.

这里使用一般现在时更合适，因为描述的是习惯性动作。'will recall'表示将来时，不符合上下文。

× If I write on paper, I'd like to write my baby routines to record my feelings and events I don't or I want to remembered because I want to record my thoughts on when I'm grown older when I read back.

✓ If I write on paper, I'd like to write my baby routines to record my feelings and events I don't want to forget because I want to record my thoughts for when I'm grown older and read back.

原句中 'I don't or I want to remembered' 结构混乱，且 'remembered' 应为动词原形或不定式。应改为 'I don't want to forget'，表达更清晰。

× What I thought will be totally different when I'm young.

✓ What I thought was totally different when I was young.

这里描述过去的想法，应该使用过去时态 'was' 和 'was'，而不是将来时 'will be'。

× So things will be changed as well as my feelings and emotions.

✓ So things will change as well as my feelings and emotions.

'will be changed' 是被动语态，且不符合语境。这里应使用主动语态 'will change'，表示将来的变化。

× Writing become a complexity event for me because it's not profitable for me.

✓ Writing has become a complex event for me because it's not profitable for me.

'complexity' 是名词，句中需要形容词 'complex' 来修饰 'event'。此外，动词 'become' 应使用现在完成时 'has become'，表示状态的变化。