花— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be more concise and correct grammar. Start with a clear topic sentence, avoid fillers (uh), reduce repetition, and add one specific supporting detail. Use linking words for coherence.

範例: Yes, I love flowers, but I don't buy them often. At my workplace, many residents receive flowers and each room often has a small bouquet, which brightens the atmosphere. Because of this, I enjoy seeing a variety of flowers there.

建議: Use a clear subject and correct verb forms. Give a concise topic sentence, then one or two specific details and a linking word. Avoid repeating phrases and finish the thought.

範例: Yes, one of the residents where I work loves flowers. Her family often brings her roses, which cheer her up and lift the mood of staff because the flowers make the room feel more welcoming.

建議: Give a direct answer and use specific examples. Organize with a topic sentence then one detail using linking words. Correct pronouns and repetition.

範例: Yes, there are many flowers where I work, especially in the garden. The residents help tend the beds and seeing the colorful blooms often lifts their spirits and makes their day brighter.

建議: Be succinct and grammatically correct. Start with a clear topic sentence, then add one specific example and a linking phrase. Avoid hesitations and trailing off.

範例: Not usually — I prefer to enjoy flowers in person. However, when I'm somewhere special, I sometimes take a photo to remember the visit, such as at a botanical garden last summer.

建議: Use clearer grammar and vocabulary. Answer directly, then give two specific occasions with a linking word. Avoid vague phrases and incomplete sentences.

範例: Yes, people often send flowers for special occasions. For example, flowers are commonly given at birthdays and weddings, and they are also sent to express sympathy or congratulations.

× I love flowers but I'm not uh, really keen to buy it all the time.

✓ I love flowers but I'm not really keen to buy them all the time.

The pronoun 'it' is singular but refers to plural 'flowers'; use 'them' for plural objects. Also remove filler 'uh' for clarity.

× I would like also to see different kinds of flowers, especially at my workplace since some some of our resident had a flower in each room and they had they had a gift of flower every.

✓ I would also like to see different kinds of flowers, especially at my workplace, since some of our residents have a flower in each room and they receive a bouquet of flowers regularly.

Multiple issues: 'some some' is repetition and 'resident' should be plural 'residents' (quantifier/number). 'Had' implies past; context needs present 'have'. 'a gift of flower every' is incorrect quantifier and noun form; use 'a bouquet of flowers regularly' or 'receive flowers regularly' to be grammatical and clear.

× Yes, I remembered one of my resident in my in the healthcare person that I work in and they love flowers almost every day.

✓ Yes, I remember one of the residents in the healthcare facility where I work, and she loves flowers almost every day.

Tense and pronoun issues: 'remembered' (past) conflicts with general statement—use present 'remember' or better 'I know'. 'one of my resident' should be 'one of the residents'. 'in the healthcare person that I work in' is incorrect; use 'in the healthcare facility where I work'. Use consistent pronoun 'she' if referring to a specific resident rather than singular 'they' when gender is known; if unknown, 'they' is acceptable.

× So one of her family member always giving her a gift of flowers, particularly roses and it brightens her mood as well as other employees mood as well because flowers for me it brings joy as well as.

✓ So one of her family members always gives her gifts of flowers, particularly roses, and they brighten her mood as well as the other employees' moods, because flowers bring joy to me too.

'family member' should be plural 'family members' or 'one of her family members'. Verb agreement: 'always giving' should be 'always gives'. 'a gift of flowers' is awkward—use 'gifts of flowers' or 'a bouquet'. Possessive and plural forms: 'employees mood' should be 'employees' moods'. Remove redundant phrases and complete the clause 'bring joy to me too'.

× Yes, I have a we have a lot of flowers, most important particularly in the garden because the residents love flowers all the time and see the beauty in it and it makes the their day brighten and it lift up their spirits if they saw different flowers as well as plants at the garden in my workplace.

✓ Yes, we have a lot of flowers, especially in the garden, because the residents love flowers and see the beauty in them; it brightens their day and lifts their spirits when they see different flowers and plants in the garden at my workplace.

Remove duplicated 'I have a we have'. Use plural pronouns/objects consistently: 'beauty in it' should be 'beauty in them' for flowers. Verb forms: 'makes the their day brighten' → 'brightens their day'. 'it lift up their spirits if they saw' → 'lifts their spirits when they see' to match present tense and subject-verb agreement.

× I'm not particularly fond of taking photos of flowers, I would like only to see them in person.

✓ I'm not particularly fond of taking photos of flowers; I prefer just to see them in person.

Stylistic improvement and tense/word choice: 'would like only to see' is awkward; 'prefer just to see' is clearer for a habitual preference. Replace comma splice with semicolon or separate sentences.

× But there are times also that in the special location I took a flower photo because it is part of my memories in that specific place and I enjoyed that too.

✓ But there are times when, at a special location, I take photos of flowers because it becomes part of my memories of that place, and I enjoy that too.

Tense consistency: mix of present and past should be consistent. If describing a habitual action, use present tense 'I take'. 'in the special location' → 'at a special location'. 'photo' → 'photos' for generality. 'part of my memories in that specific place' → 'part of my memories of that place'.

× Yeah, some people in my country are sending flowers to their beloved.

✓ Yes, some people in my country send flowers to their loved ones.

Use simple present 'send' for habitual actions rather than progressive 'are sending'. 'beloved' as a noun is uncommon in this context; use 'loved ones'. Also prefer 'Yes' over 'Yeah' in formal responses.

× Most important of their is a special occasion like birthdays or weddings.

✓ Most often they do so on special occasions like birthdays or weddings.

Original phrase is ungrammatical. Use 'Most often' to indicate frequency and 'on special occasions' for correctness. 'of their' is incorrect; 'they do so' refers back to sending flowers.

× They are sending flowers to their friends or family to celebrate their. They're interested.

✓ They send flowers to their friends or family to celebrate special events or to show they care.

Incomplete sentence: 'to celebrate their.' is unfinished. 'They're interested.' is unclear. Clarify intent: people send flowers to celebrate events or to express care. Use simple present 'send' for habitual actions.