家乡— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Try to avoid redundancy and improve sentence structure. For example, instead of saying 'A vibrant and charming town which is located in southwestern part of Bangladesh and it's a divisional area,' you can say 'Khulna is a vibrant divisional city located in the southwestern part of Bangladesh.' Also, avoid starting sentences with conjunctions like 'and'.

範例: My hometown is Khulna, a vibrant divisional city located in the southwestern part of Bangladesh. It is famous for its friendly people and peaceful atmosphere.

建議: Focus on clear and natural sentence structure. Avoid informal fillers like 'yeah' and phrases like 'too much friendly' which are not natural. Instead, say 'I like the people in my hometown because they are very friendly and hospitable.'

範例: I like the people in my hometown because they are very friendly and hospitable.

建議: Use correct tense and avoid fillers like 'uh'. Also, improve sentence clarity and structure. For example, say 'I have lived there since I was born with my parents. However, in the future, I want to move to another city like Dhaka because it offers more opportunities.'

範例: I have lived in Khulna since I was born with my parents. However, in the future, I want to move to Dhaka because it offers more opportunities.

建議: Avoid redundancy and improve vocabulary. Instead of 'many opportunities like sports, club or many other things and so on,' be specific and concise, e.g., 'My hometown offers many opportunities for young people, such as sports clubs and cultural activities.'

範例: Definitely, my hometown is a great place for young people because it offers many opportunities, such as sports clubs and cultural activities.

× My hometown is Khulna, A vibrant and charming town which is located in southwestern part of Bangladesh and it's a divisional area.

✓ My hometown is Khulna, a vibrant and charming town which is located in the southwestern part of Bangladesh and it's a divisional area.

The article 'A' should be lowercase 'a' because it is in the middle of the sentence. Also, 'southwestern part' requires the definite article 'the' before it to specify the particular region.

× I would prefer it's absolutely my hometown people because my hometown people are too much friendly.

✓ I would say it's absolutely my hometown people because my hometown people are very friendly.

The phrase 'I would prefer it's absolutely' is incorrect; 'I would say it's absolutely' is more appropriate. Also, 'too much friendly' is incorrect; 'very friendly' is the correct adverbial phrase to describe friendliness.

× I lived there since I was born in with my parents but in future I want to uh move another city such as Dhaka as big city means big opportunity.

✓ I have lived there since I was born with my parents, but in the future I want to move to another city such as Dhaka because a big city means big opportunities.

The present perfect tense 'have lived' is appropriate for an action continuing from the past to present. 'Since I was born in' should be 'since I was born'. 'In future' needs the article 'the'. 'Move another city' requires the preposition 'to'. 'As big city means big opportunity' should be 'because a big city means big opportunities' for clarity and correctness.

× Definitely, yes. My hometown is extremely a good place for young people because my hometown has many opportunities like sports, club or many other things and so on.

✓ Definitely, yes. My hometown is an extremely good place for young people because my hometown has many opportunities like sports, clubs, and many other things.

The phrase 'extremely a good place' is incorrect; it should be 'an extremely good place' because 'extremely' modifies 'good place' and requires the article 'an'. Also, 'club' should be plural 'clubs' to match 'many opportunities'. The phrase 'and so on' is unnecessary and can be omitted for clarity.