家乡— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Your answer is informative and relevant, but it could be more natural by simplifying some phrases and avoiding redundancy. For example, instead of "especially for tourists from China and the European countries," you could say "especially for tourists from China and Europe." Also, "many historical heritages" is better expressed as "many historical sites."

範例: My hometown is Nagasaki, a city famous for its rich culture and many historical sites. It attracts many tourists, especially from China and Europe.

建議: Your answer has good content but contains some grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, "rich and delicious seafood" is better as "fresh and delicious seafood." Also, "which makes it easy to get a fresh fish and delicious" is unclear and incomplete. Try to use linking words to connect ideas smoothly and be more specific.

範例: I love Nagasaki because it is surrounded by the sea, giving it the second longest coastline in the country. As a result, fresh and delicious seafood is always available, which I really enjoy.

建議: Your answer addresses the question but has some grammatical mistakes and could be clearer. For example, say "I have lived in my hometown for 18 years." Also, "That decision was essential" is unclear; perhaps you meant "That decision was difficult." Use linking words to connect ideas logically.

範例: I have lived in my hometown for 18 years. However, after graduating from high school, I moved to Tokyo to attend university. Although it was a difficult decision because I had to leave my best friends and family, it was necessary for my education.

建議: Your answer is relevant but contains grammatical errors and awkward phrasing. For example, say "job opportunities are limited" and "it makes it difficult for them to earn decent wages." Also, use linking words to improve coherence, such as "therefore" instead of "as a result."

範例: No, I don't think my hometown is ideal for young people because job opportunities are limited, which makes it difficult to earn decent wages. Therefore, many young people leave to find better jobs in urban cities.

× My hometown is Nagasaki, which is one of the most attractive cities, especially for tourists from China and the European countries because of its rich culture and many historical heritages.

✓ My hometown is Nagasaki, which is one of the most attractive cities, especially for tourists from China and European countries because of its rich culture and many historical heritages.

The definite article 'the' is not used before plural proper nouns like 'European countries' when referring to them generally. Removing 'the' before 'European countries' is correct here.

× That city is surrounded by the sea and the coastline is the second longest in our country, which makes it easy to get a fresh fish and delicious.

✓ That city is surrounded by the sea and the coastline is the second longest in our country, which makes it easy to get fresh fish that is delicious.

'A fresh fish' is incorrect because 'fish' in this context is uncountable when referring to food. Also, the sentence lacked clarity; adding 'that is' clarifies that the fish is delicious.

× I have lived my hometown for 18 years, and after graduating from high school, I came to Tokyo to attend the university.

✓ I have lived in my hometown for 18 years, and after graduating from high school, I came to Tokyo to attend university.

The verb 'live' requires the preposition 'in' when referring to a place. Also, 'attend university' is the correct phrase without 'the' before 'university' when speaking generally.

× That decision was essential because I had to leave my best friends and families, which was disappointing.

✓ That decision was essential because I had to leave my best friends and family, which was disappointing.

'Family' is usually an uncountable noun when referring to one's relatives collectively, so 'families' is incorrect here.

× No, I don't think my hometown is an ideal place for young people because job opportunities are available limited and it's makes it difficult for them to decent wages.

✓ No, I don't think my hometown is an ideal place for young people because job opportunities are limited and it makes it difficult for them to earn decent wages.

The phrase 'available limited' is incorrect; 'limited' alone suffices. Also, 'it's makes' is incorrect; it should be 'it makes'. The verb 'to' should be followed by the base verb 'earn' to complete the phrase 'to earn decent wages'.

× As a result, people tend to leave their hometown and go to urban cities to get a good jobs.

✓ As a result, people tend to leave their hometown and go to urban cities to get good jobs.

'A good jobs' is incorrect because 'jobs' is plural and should not be preceded by the singular article 'a'. Removing 'a' corrects the plural agreement.