工作— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Give a concise direct topic sentence, correct tense and word choice, and organize details logically. Avoid fillers like "umm" and correct grammar (e.g., "I arrived here three years ago" and "I studied English during my first year"). Use one or two linking words to connect ideas (for example, "After that" or "Then").

範例: I am currently a student in Australia. I arrived here three years ago, and in my first year I studied English. After that, I started a Diploma in Project Management and an Advanced Diploma in Program Management.

建議: Start with a clear topic sentence and give specific details about the workplace. Avoid hesitations and unclear phrases. Use linking words to explain why you dislike it (e.g., "however," "because"). Replace vague statements with specific reasons and correct vocabulary (e.g., "Mexican-style" or "authentic Mexican food").

範例: I work at a Mexican-style restaurant called Guzmani Gomez. However, I don't like it much because the food is not authentic Mexican; it is more adapted to local tastes and lacks traditional flavors.

建議: Provide a balanced answer: start with your opinion, then give two clear reasons using linking words (e.g., "although", "however", "because"). Fix vocabulary and phrasing: "it offers many hours" → "it offers many shifts"; "fat food" → "fast food"; "you need to work quickly" instead of vague phrases. Keep to 2–3 sentences.

範例: No, I don't think it's a good place to work. Although it offers many shifts, the job is very demanding and high-pressure because it is a fast-food environment and you must work quickly during busy periods.

建議: Answer directly and organize reasons clearly. Correct expressions about distance/time (e.g., "it's about 15–20 minutes from my home") and avoid contradicting emotion words ("I feel just excited" vs "I hate this job"). Use linking words like "also" or "because" and give specific examples of rude behavior or commute problems. Limit to 2–3 sentences.

範例: No, I do not like my job. It is about 15–20 minutes from my home, so the commute takes time, and the customers are sometimes rude, which makes the work very stressful.

建議: Give a clear, complete topic sentence about your career goal and explain reasons with correct grammar. Use linking words (e.g., "because", "so") and correct vocabulary: say "I studied chemistry" or "I have a background in chemistry"; specify the role or department you aim for (e.g., "in a government department related to chemistry"). Avoid trailing off; finish the sentence with a specific plan.

範例: In the future I plan to work for a large government agency such as Home Affairs in a role related to chemistry because I have a background in chemistry and I miss working in that field in Mexico. Therefore, I hope to find a scientific or regulatory position rather than continuing in restaurants.

× I'm currently a student in Australia, umm I get right here three years ago and I studied the first years just English and after I start a diploma in Project Management and Advanced Diploma in Management in Program Management.

✓ I'm currently a student in Australia. I arrived here three years ago and I studied English in my first year; after that I started a diploma in Project Management and an Advanced Diploma in Program Management.

Multiple tense errors: 'I get right here three years ago' uses present tense 'get' with a past time expression — use simple past 'arrived'. 'I studied the first years just English' is awkward; use 'I studied English in my first year'. 'after I start a diploma' mixes tenses — when referring to a past sequence use past 'I started'. Also add articles ('a diploma', 'an Advanced Diploma') and punctuation to separate clauses for clarity. Suggestion: keep past events in simple past and use clear sequence words (after that).

× The name of the restaurant is Jiwaji or Guzmani Gomez.

✓ The name of the restaurant is Jiwaji or Guzman Gomez.

Possible spelling and article not required; main issue was proper noun spelling. Use the correct proper name ('Guzman' not 'Guzmani') and no extra article change needed. If referring to one of two names, keep structure as given. Suggest verifying proper noun spelling and using consistent name form.

× This is a rest a Mexican restaurant, but I think the food is uh, but I don't like it because it's not a really Mexican food.

✓ This is a Mexican restaurant, but I don't really like the food because it is not truly Mexican.

Awkward and redundant phrasing: 'a rest a Mexican restaurant' is incorrect — use 'a Mexican restaurant'. 'not a really Mexican food' mixes article and adverb order; place adverb before adjective ('really Mexican') or use 'truly Mexican'. Suggest simplifying and placing adverbs correctly before adjectives or verbs.

× Uh, you know, he's.

✓ Uh, you know, it's not authentic.

Fragment: 'he's' has no clear referent and leaves the sentence incomplete. Provide a complete clause that conveys the intended meaning (e.g., 'it's not authentic'). Suggest avoiding fragments and completing thoughts.

× I am working in a restaurant.

✓ I work in a restaurant.

Present continuous 'I am working' implies temporary or ongoing action at this moment; both forms can be acceptable, but in response to 'Where do you work?' simple present 'I work in a restaurant' is more natural for habitual employment. Suggest using simple present for regular jobs.

× No, I don't think so. It's a good place to work because umm, it offers a lot of hours and a lot of things for you.

✓ No, I don't think so. It is a good place to work because it offers a lot of hours and many benefits for you.

'A lot of things for you' is vague; 'many benefits' or 'many perks' is clearer. Use 'many' with countable plural nouns. Also 'It is' instead of contraction can be maintained; place quantifiers before nouns. Suggest choosing precise vocabulary and correct quantifier usage.

× But the truth is the work is really heavy and with a lot of pressure because it's a fat food.

✓ But the truth is the work is very demanding and stressful because it's fast food.

'Really heavy' is unidiomatic for work; use 'demanding' or 'hard'. 'with a lot of pressure' combined is awkward; 'stressful' conveys the idea. 'fat food' is incorrect; the intended phrase is 'fast food'. Suggest using correct collocations and vocabulary ('fast food', 'demanding work').

× So you know you need to do the things quick.

✓ So, you know, you need to do things quickly.

Adverb placement and form: 'quick' is an adjective; use adverb 'quickly' to modify the verb 'do'. Also omit 'the' before 'things' for general action. Suggest using adverbs to modify verbs and removing unnecessary articles.

× No, actually I hate this job and it's around fire no 15 minutes or 20 minutes from my home.

✓ No, actually I hate this job and it is about 15 or 20 minutes from my home.

'around fire no' is unintelligible and incorrect. Use 'about' or 'around' with a time expression ('15 or 20 minutes from my home'). Also 'it's' refers to distance/time, so clarify with 'it is about'. Suggest speaking clearly and using standard time expressions ('about 15 minutes').

× So I need to take time and I need drive and when I arrive my job is I feel just excited.

✓ So I need to take time and I need to drive, and when I arrive at my job I just feel exhausted.

Missing infinitive marker 'to' before 'drive' ('need to drive'). 'When I arrive my job' needs preposition 'at' ('arrive at my job'). 'I feel just excited' contradicts context; likely intended 'exhausted' or 'not excited'. Also punctuation needed. Suggest using 'need to + verb', correct prepositions with 'arrive at', and choose appropriate adjective for feeling.

× I don't like it and the people sometimes will be rude and.

✓ I don't like it and the people are sometimes rude.

Avoid future 'will be' when describing habitual behavior; use simple present 'are sometimes rude'. Remove trailing 'and' and complete the sentence. Suggest using simple present for habitual actions and ensuring sentences are complete.

× In the future I plan to work in a big company in the Home Affairs because I am chemistry and I miss so much my job in Mexico.

✓ In the future I plan to work for a large company in the Department of Home Affairs because I studied chemistry and I miss my job in Mexico very much.

Preposition: 'work in a big company' is okay but 'work for' is more natural; 'Home Affairs' should be 'the Department of Home Affairs' or similar. 'I am chemistry' is incorrect; use 'I studied chemistry' or 'I am a chemist'. 'I miss so much my job' has incorrect word order; use 'I miss my job in Mexico very much'. Suggest using correct verb forms to describe background ('studied'), proper organization names, and correct adverb placement.

× For this reason I hate working the restaurant, but I plan to work in a.

✓ For this reason I hate working in the restaurant, but I plan to work in a government department/company related to my field.

Fragment and missing preposition: 'hate working the restaurant' needs 'in' ('working in the restaurant'). Sentence ends abruptly 'but I plan to work in a.' — complete the thought by specifying where you plan to work. Suggest always finish clauses and use correct prepositions with 'working in'.