工作— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Be direct and clear: start with one concise sentence stating your current status (student, graduate, or not working). Then add one short, specific detail about your plans or background. Avoid repetition and unclear phrases.

範例: I have completed higher education in psychology, but at the moment I am not working. I plan to join my father's medical team abroad to gain practical experience and pursue my career goals.

建議: Begin with a clear topic sentence answering the question, then add one or two concise supporting details (where, role, and one reason it was rewarding). Keep sentences concise and avoid hesitation.

範例: I am not working at the moment, but last year I worked as a nurse at the local hospital near my house. It was rewarding because I cared for patients daily and learned practical clinical skills.

建議: Answer directly and use clear reasons with linking words (because, and, so). Use correct word forms (pay, helpful, fulfilled) and avoid fragmented sentences.

範例: Yes, it is a good place to work because the pay is fair and the environment is supportive. Also, helping patients gave me a strong sense of fulfillment and satisfaction.

建議: Start with a direct answer, then give a specific supporting example using a linking phrase (for example, for instance). Use correct tense and concise phrasing.

範例: Yes, I liked the place because the staff were very cooperative and helpful. For example, senior nurses explained patient codes to me when I had difficulty understanding them.

建議: Give a clear, logical plan with linking words (first, then, after). Use correct verbs and concise phrasing, and avoid contradictory statements. Specify where you want to study and what you hope to do afterwards.

範例: First, I plan to study abroad at a reputable university to complete my higher education. After finishing my studies, I will return to my hometown and work in a local hospital to gain professional experience.

× Well, I completed my higher education in psychology of Sadhguru, but now I'm presumed my father's study in foreign country and I would like to do, I would like to do join in their medical team which you had for me to complete my dream.

✓ Well, I completed my higher education in psychology under Sadhguru, but now I am continuing my father's studies in a foreign country and I would like to join their medical team to fulfill my dream.

Multiple past/present tense and awkward verb choices: 'I'm presumed my father's study' is ungrammatical; likely intended 'I am pursuing/continuing my father's studies' or 'I am accompanying my father's studies.' 'Would like to do, I would like to do join' repeats and mixes forms. Use present continuous 'am continuing' for current action and 'would like to join' for desire. Also replace 'which you had for me to complete my dream' with 'to fulfill my dream.' Suggestion: use clear verbs for current activities (am continuing/accompanying/pursuing) and a simple 'would like to join' for intention.

× Well, well, currently I'm not working, but I did some work in my past year. I did work as a nurse in local hospital, which is just a stone throw away from my house and it is, it was very rewarding experience for me.

✓ Well, currently I'm not working, but I worked last year as a nurse in a local hospital, which is just a stone's throw from my house, and it was a very rewarding experience for me.

Problems: inconsistent tense ('did some work in my past year' should be 'worked last year'); article omission 'a local hospital'; idiom form 'stone's throw' needs possessive; extra filler words and redundant 'did work'. Use simple past 'worked' for completed actions and include articles. Suggestion: simplify to 'I worked last year as a nurse in a local hospital... it was a very rewarding experience.'

× Definitely just it is a very good place for work because the paid is very well as well as when Ioffer help to other person it to help me too. I felt like fulfillment as well as a satisfied.

✓ Definitely, it is a very good place to work because the pay is very good, and when I offer help to other people it helps me too. I felt fulfilled and satisfied.

Errors: 'the paid is very well' should be 'the pay is very good' (incorrect word and form); 'other person' should be plural 'other people'; incorrect verb forms 'it to help me too' → 'it helps me too'; adjective/adverb errors 'felt like fulfillment as well as a satisfied' → 'felt fulfilled and satisfied'. Suggestion: use correct nouns ('pay'), plural where appropriate, and adjectives ('fulfilled').

× Definitely yes. I like place where I work because the staff was very cooperative and helpful. For example, the senior staff also told me about the patient code when I find difficulty to understand.

✓ Definitely yes. I like the place where I work because the staff are very cooperative and helpful. For example, the senior staff also explained the patient code to me when I found it difficult to understand.

Issues: missing article 'the place'; subject-verb agreement with 'staff' treated as plural in this context → 'staff are'; tense mismatch 'when I find difficulty' should be past 'when I found it difficult'; awkward passive/indirect object order 'told me about the patient code' is acceptable but 'explained the patient code to me' is clearer. Suggestion: include articles, match verb tense to the narrative, and use clearer verb patterns ('explained ... to me').

× Well, in future I would like to market foreign country and complete my higher education in reputed university. When I completed my application I will come back to my hometown and wanted want to do some work in a local hospital and gain experience.

✓ Well, in the future I would like to move to a foreign country and complete my higher education at a reputable university. When I complete my application I will come back to my hometown and want to work in a local hospital to gain experience.

Problems: 'market foreign country' is incorrect—likely 'move to a foreign country'; missing articles 'in future' → 'in the future', 'reputed university' → 'a reputable university'; tense inconsistency 'When I completed my application I will come back' mixes past and future — use present simple/present perfect for condition ('When I complete/when I have completed') plus future 'I will come back'; 'wanted want to do' is incorrect duplication and tense; use 'want to work' or 'intend to work'. Suggestion: use correct verbs for intention ('move'), use articles, and keep consistent future-time clauses ('When I complete... I will...').