工作— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Отлично, что вы даёте основную информацию, но ответ слишком длинный и содержит повторения и ошибки. Сократите до 2–3 предложений: сначала краткий прямой ответ, затем одно конкретное пояснение. Избегайте повторов (например, "career teaching career") и уточняйте названия и намерения корректно. Также работайте над грамматикой будущего времени и согласованием слов.

範例: I'm a final-year college student and I will graduate this year. I study foreign languages and pedagogy because I want to become a language teacher, and after graduation I plan to continue my studies with a bachelor's program to start my teaching career.

建議: Ответ расплывчатый и содержит много пауз и слов-паразитов ("uh", "umm"). Формулируйте короткие ясные предложения: начинайте с прямого ответа (нет работы), затем один конкретный пример того, чем занимаетесь, используя правильную лексику (e.g., "aesthetic photos and videos" → "aesthetic photos and videos for my personal brand"). Уберите лишние повторы и исправьте грамматические ошибки ("work" → "a job", "individual brands" → "personal brand").

範例: I don't have a job at the moment, but I'm developing my soft skills. For example, I create aesthetic photos and short videos to build my personal brand on social media.

建議: Вопрос воспринят не по теме — экзаменатор спрашивал о месте работы, а вы снова говорите о хобби. Ответ должен прямо оценивать место (если у вас нет работы — скажите об этом), затем объясните причину. Используйте связки ("because", "so") и корректную лексику («picturesque views», «aesthetic»). Избегайте ошибок в форме слов ("ascetic"→"aesthetic").

範例: I don't currently work at a company, so I can't judge a workplace. However, creating aesthetic photos is enjoyable for me because I love capturing picturesque views, and it feels like a good creative environment.

建議: Ответ фокусируется на желании путешествовать, но сформулирован плохо: есть грамматические ошибки и повторения ("creation creations beautiful"). Дайте прямой ответ и добавьте одно конкретное пояснение, используя правильные предлоги ("around the world"), и ясные фразы о причинах.

範例: Yes, I would like that because I want to travel around the world to take aesthetic photos and videos. Traveling would help me find diverse and beautiful scenes to improve my work.

建議: Хорошо, что вы перечисляете планы, но формулировка неуклюжая и незавершённая. Давайте более структурировано: начните с общего утверждения, затем перечислите 2–3 конкретных цели, используя правильную форму ("personal brand" в единственном числе) и завершите мысль. Избегайте обрывов в конце предложения.

範例: I have several plans for the future. For example, I want to develop my personal brand on YouTube and Instagram, create regular photo and video content, and travel to different countries to expand my portfolio.

× Currently, I'm in my final year of college and I will graduate this year.

✓ Currently, I'm in my final year of college, and I will graduate this year.

Sentence needs a comma before the coordinating conjunction 'and' linking two independent clauses; tense usage is acceptable (present continuous for current state, future 'will' for graduation). Use comma for clarity.

× I study UH foreign languages and pedagogy UMM because I want to become a language teacher.

✓ I study foreign languages and pedagogy at UH and UMM because I want to become a language teacher.

Use the preposition 'at' with names of universities. Also place the institutions after the subjects for natural word order: 'study X at Y'.

× After graduation, I plan to apply for a bachelor's degree for continuing my UH career teaching career.

✓ After graduation, I plan to apply for a bachelor's degree to continue my teaching career at UH.

Replace 'for continuing' with the infinitive 'to continue'. Remove duplicated word 'career' and use 'at UH' to indicate institution. Word order and preposition choice corrected.

× Actually, I don't have a work, but I try to improve my soft skills.

✓ Actually, I don't have work, but I'm trying to improve my soft skills.

Use 'work' without the article when speaking generally ('a job' would be acceptable if meaning 'a position'). Also use present continuous 'I'm trying' to describe an ongoing effort.

× Uh, for instance, uh, I uh, take care ice aesthetic photos and videos.

✓ For instance, I take care of aesthetic photos and videos.

Include the preposition 'of' after 'take care'. Also remove disfluencies. 'Aesthetic photos and videos' is fine; use present simple for habitual actions.

× Umm, I make an effort, uh, to improve my uh, individual brands.

✓ I make an effort to improve my personal brand.

Use 'personal brand' (singular) rather than 'individual brands'. 'Personal' is a more natural adjective here and 'brand' is usually singular for a person.

× Honestly, I create ascetic photos and videos in any way because I enjoy seeing a picturesque views.

✓ Honestly, I create aesthetic photos and videos in various ways because I enjoy seeing picturesque views.

Correct spelling 'aesthetic' (not 'ascetic'). Use 'in various ways' instead of 'in any way' for meaning. Remove the article 'a' before 'picturesque views' because 'views' is plural.

× That's why I tried to take some beautiful things.

✓ That's why I try to capture beautiful things.

Use present tense 'try' to match ongoing habit. 'Capture' is a better verb collocation with photos; 'take some beautiful things' is unnatural.

× To be honest, I would like to take my aesthetic photos in around the world because I enjoy taking photos and videos.

✓ To be honest, I would like to take my aesthetic photos around the world because I enjoy taking photos and videos.

Remove 'in' before 'around the world'; the correct phrase is 'around the world'.

× Creation creations beautiful.

✓ I want to create beautiful works/creations.

Original fragment lacks grammatical structure. Provide a full sentence with subject and verb. 'Create beautiful works' or 'create beautiful creations' (latter redundant) are better choices.

× Actually, I have a lot of future work plans.

✓ Actually, I have many future work plans.

'Many' is more natural with countable 'plans' than 'a lot of' in formal speech; present simple 'have' is acceptable.

× For instance, I want to improve my personal brands on social media such as YouTube, Instagram or Tiktok, and I would like to take photos in different countries around the world and.

✓ For instance, I want to improve my personal brand on social media such as YouTube, Instagram, or TikTok, and I would like to take photos in different countries around the world.

Use singular 'brand' for a person. 'On social media' is correct preposition. Capitalize 'TikTok'. Remove trailing 'and' at the end. Use commas in a list.