工作— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Your answer is a bit long and has some grammatical errors. Try to make your sentences clearer and avoid redundancy. For example, instead of repeating "because" and "as well as," use linking words like "and" or "also." Also, correct phrases like "He's personality" to "His personality."

範例: I work at a company called IS Bliss, located in central Kathmandu. I enjoy working there because my boss is quick-witted and very smart. His personality is very kind, and he cares about me. Additionally, my colleagues are friendly and supportive.

建議: Your answer has some grammar mistakes and unclear phrases. For example, "develop a software" should be "develop software," and "amusing job" is not appropriate here; use "interesting" or "rewarding." Also, avoid repeating similar ideas and try to use linking words to connect your points.

範例: I work at a company called IS Bliss, where I develop software that benefits many people. It is an interesting job, and I enjoy working with my colleagues and others around me. Overall, I find my work very rewarding.

建議: Your answer is clear but contains filler words like "uh" which reduce fluency. Try to avoid these and make your sentences more concise. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

範例: Yes, absolutely. I love my current workplace and hope to work here for a long time. I especially appreciate my boss because he is kind, warm, and approachable, so I can get help whenever I need it.

建議: Your answer is good but some phrases are unclear, like "ceramic beauty." Try to use more precise vocabulary and avoid repeating similar ideas. Also, use linking words to make your answer coherent.

範例: Yes, I really like my workplace. Near my office, there is a beautiful garden with lovely ceramic decorations. I enjoy looking at it whenever I feel stressed or sad because it helps me relax.

建議: Your answer shows good ideas but has some grammar mistakes and filler words like "uh." Try to speak more fluently and use correct grammar, for example, "make software products that fit people's needs and government policies." Also, use linking words to connect your ideas.

範例: My future plan is to work as a software engineer. I want to create software products that meet both people's needs and government policies. This way, I can help improve how government services are used more effectively by the public.

× I work at a company called IS Bliss which is situated at the central of Kathmandu.

✓ I work at a company called IS Bliss which is situated in the center of Kathmandu.

The preposition 'at' is incorrectly used with 'the central of Kathmandu'. The correct preposition is 'in' and the noun should be 'center' instead of 'central' to indicate location within a city.

× He's personality is very adoring and he loves me as well as the colleagues are very friendly as well as amicable.

✓ His personality is very endearing and he loves me. The colleagues are very friendly and amicable.

The possessive pronoun 'He's' is incorrect; it should be 'His'. Also, the sentence structure is confusing and run-on; splitting into two sentences improves clarity. 'Adoring' is not appropriate to describe personality; 'endearing' fits better.

× My main responsibility is to develop a software which will benefit most of the people and that is kind of amusing job.

✓ My main responsibility is to develop software which will benefit most people, and that is a kind of amusing job.

The article 'a' before 'software' is unnecessary because 'software' is uncountable. 'Most of the people' should be 'most people'. Also, 'a kind of amusing job' requires the article 'a' before 'kind'.

× I love my colleague as well as people around me on my job.

✓ I love my colleagues as well as the people around me at my job.

'Colleague' should be plural 'colleagues' to match the context. The preposition 'on' is incorrect; 'at' is appropriate for location at work.

× I love my place where I'm working currently.

✓ I love the place where I'm currently working.

The phrase 'my place' is vague; 'the place' is more appropriate. Also, adverb 'currently' should be placed before the verb 'working' for correct adverb placement.

× Uh, maybe I want to be working for a long time, but currently I love working here, uh, because of my boss and my friends, mostly because my boss is very kind, warm and approachable.

✓ Maybe I want to work here for a long time, but currently I love working here because of my boss and my friends, mostly because my boss is very kind, warm, and approachable.

The phrase 'want to be working' is awkward; 'want to work' is the correct future intention expression. Also, commas are needed in the list of adjectives.

× So near to my workplace there is a garden which looks stunning.

✓ So near my workplace, there is a garden which looks stunning.

The preposition 'to' is unnecessary after 'near'. Also, a comma after the introductory phrase improves readability.

× It has a ceramic beauty which I really adore.

✓ It has a ceramic beauty that I really adore.

The relative pronoun 'which' is less appropriate here; 'that' is better for defining clauses. Also, 'ceramic beauty' is unusual; if referring to ceramic art or decoration, it should be clarified.

× I love enjoying looking at it whenever I feel sad or whenever I feel pressure at the work because of the beauty and because of the stunning view.

✓ I love looking at it whenever I feel sad or pressured at work because of its beauty and stunning view.

The phrase 'pressure at the work' is incorrect; 'pressured at work' is better. Also, 'enjoying looking at it' is redundant; 'love looking at it' suffices.

× My future work plan is to work as a software engineer.

✓ My future work plan is to work as a software engineer.

This sentence is correct; no correction needed.

× I love to, uh, make software product that will be fit not only people but also with the government policies.

✓ I love to make software products that will fit not only people but also government policies.

'Make software product' should be plural 'software products'. The phrase 'fit not only people but also with the government policies' is incorrect; 'fit not only people but also government policies' is correct without 'with'.

× So I can help with the government policies as well as how the government services can be used by people in a more effective way.

✓ So I can help with government policies as well as how government services can be used by people more effectively.

'The government policies' and 'the government services' can be simplified to 'government policies' and 'government services'. Also, 'in a more effective way' is better expressed as 'more effectively'.