工作— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Try to use correct grammar and clearer sentence structure. Avoid redundancy and ensure your answer is natural and concise. For example, start with a clear topic sentence, then add specific supporting details using linking words.

範例: I am currently a student pursuing a Bachelor of Education degree. Previously, I worked as an office assistant in a private company in Dubai. However, my passion lies in teaching, so I decided to continue my studies to secure a teaching job at a reputable school here.

建議: Use more natural expressions and correct grammar. Provide a clear topic sentence and support it with specific details using linking words to improve coherence.

範例: I am not currently working, but I am actively seeking a teaching position at a well-known school in Dubai. I am putting in a lot of effort to find a suitable job in this field.

建議: Improve sentence structure and grammar. Use linking words to connect ideas logically and provide specific reasons why Dubai is a good place to work.

範例: Dubai is an excellent place to work because it offers many opportunities for young people and professionals. Moreover, the city supports continuous education, which helps me improve my skills and find better job prospects.

建議: Focus on clear and grammatically correct sentences. Use linking words to organize your ideas and provide specific examples of why you like Dubai as a workplace.

範例: Yes, I would like to work in Dubai because it is a modern metropolitan city with excellent facilities and advanced technology. Additionally, the government provides strong support in education, healthcare, and industry, which makes living and working here comfortable.

建議: Use clear and concise sentences with proper grammar. Organize your answer with a topic sentence followed by specific future plans, using linking words to connect ideas.

範例: My future plan is to complete my Bachelor of Education degree and then secure a teaching job at a primary school. After gaining experience, I intend to pursue a master's degree in education to increase my chances of teaching higher grade classes.

× Clearly, I am a beard students.

✓ Clearly, I am a beard student.

The word 'students' is plural, but the subject 'I' is singular, so the noun should be singular to match the subject. Also, 'beard' seems to be a typo or incorrect word here; it should be 'board' or 'beard' is unclear, but assuming 'board' is intended, but since context is unclear, only plural issue is corrected.

× Before 2 years I was working as an office assistant in a private company in Dubai.

✓ Two years ago, I worked as an office assistant in a private company in Dubai.

The phrase 'Before 2 years' is incorrect; the correct expression is 'Two years ago'. Also, 'was working' can be simplified to 'worked' for a completed action in the past.

× But it was my passion to become a educator.

✓ But it was my passion to become an educator.

The article 'a' should be 'an' before a vowel sound, and 'educator' is singular which is correct here.

× I like to continue my studies in education field to get a better job in any of the prominent school in Dubai.

✓ I would like to continue my studies in the field of education to get a better job in any of the prominent schools in Dubai.

The phrase 'education field' needs the definite article 'the' and should be 'field of education'. Also, 'school' should be plural 'schools' to match 'any of the prominent'. 'I like' is better as 'I would like' for polite expression.

× I like to be working any of the prominent or reputed school in Dubai.

✓ I would like to work at any of the prominent or reputed schools in Dubai.

The phrase 'like to be working' is awkward; 'would like to work' is more appropriate. Also, 'school' should be plural 'schools' and 'at' is the correct preposition for workplaces.

× I'm trying hardly to get a job in Dubai as a teacher.

✓ I'm trying hard to get a job in Dubai as a teacher.

The adverb 'hardly' means 'barely' which is incorrect here; the correct adverb is 'hard' meaning with effort.

× Is Dubai is one of the place with a large number of opportunities for youth and all kind of people.

✓ Dubai is one of the places with a large number of opportunities for youth and all kinds of people.

The sentence has an extra 'Is' at the start. 'Place' should be plural 'places' to match 'one of the'. 'All kind' should be 'all kinds'.

× Dubai is a city that support everyone to get a job and to earn more.

✓ Dubai is a city that supports everyone to get a job and to earn more.

The verb 'support' should be in third person singular form 'supports' to agree with singular subject 'city'.

× I think as I am currently living in Dubai, I could continue my education and I'm I'm wishing I am expecting and anticipating a better job in Dubai.

✓ I think since I am currently living in Dubai, I can continue my education and I am hoping, expecting, and anticipating a better job in Dubai.

The modal 'could' is incorrect here; 'can' fits better for present ability. 'I'm wishing' is incorrect; 'I am hoping' is better. Also, repeated 'I'm' is a mistake.

× It's one of the metropolitan city that offer lot of facilities and modern technologies and support in educational field, health field and in industry everything.

✓ It's one of the metropolitan cities that offer lots of facilities, modern technologies, and support in the educational field, health field, and industry.

'City' should be plural 'cities' to match 'one of the'. 'Offer' is correct plural verb. 'Lot' should be 'lots' or 'a lot'. Added commas for clarity.

× And the Dubai government is also supportive and the rules and regulations here also support the support the daily life of normal.

✓ And the Dubai government is also supportive, and the rules and regulations here also support the daily life of normal people.

The phrase 'support the support the' is a repetition error. 'Normal' is incomplete; 'normal people' or 'ordinary people' is needed. Added comma for sentence clarity.

× As I said before I like to complete my bed degree, bachelor of education and then want to get a teacher job in any of the school and I'm expecting I just want a primary school job 1st and then I will try to continue my master degree in education to get more possibility or getting a teaching job at higher grade classes and my ambition.

✓ As I said before, I would like to complete my B.Ed degree, Bachelor of Education, and then get a teaching job in any school. I am expecting to get a primary school job first, and then I will try to continue my master's degree in education to have more opportunities for teaching jobs at higher grade levels, which is my ambition.

'Like to' is better as 'would like to' for polite expression. 'Bed' should be 'B.Ed' (Bachelor of Education). 'School' should be singular or plural depending on context; 'any school' is acceptable. '1st' should be 'first'. Sentence was run-on and needed to be split for clarity. 'More possibility or getting' is awkward; corrected to 'more opportunities for teaching jobs'. Added possessive 'master's degree'.