工作— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Try to avoid repetition and grammatical errors. Use clear and concise sentences, and ensure subject-verb agreement. For example, say "I really enjoy this role because it allows me to apply my knowledge of finance and learn more about managing investments."

範例: I'm currently doing an internship as a financial analyst in the asset management department of an investment company. I really enjoy this role because it allows me to apply my finance knowledge and learn more about managing investments. I'm grateful for this opportunity.

建議: Focus on clarity and grammatical accuracy. Avoid repeating phrases and incomplete sentences. Use linking words to connect ideas logically.

範例: I work at an investment company in the asset management department. My tasks include analyzing market trends and managing investment portfolios.

建議: Improve sentence structure and vocabulary. Use linking words to connect reasons clearly. For example, "Yes, absolutely. It is a good place to work because I have a supportive team, a positive environment, and helpful counselors."

範例: Yes, absolutely. It is a good place to work because I have a supportive team, a positive environment, and helpful counselors, which makes my job enjoyable.

建議: Be careful with word choice (e.g., "concerts" should be "colleagues" or "counselors"). Use linking words to make your answer coherent and avoid redundancy.

範例: Yes, absolutely. I like the place where I work because I have several teams to collaborate with and a positive environment. My colleagues are very helpful, which makes my job more enjoyable. Overall, I feel happy and motivated working there.

建議: Try to organize your thoughts before speaking. Use complete sentences and avoid hesitation. Clearly state your plans and goals with supporting details.

範例: I have many future work plans, but I am currently focusing on improving my skills. I aim to gain more experience and possibly apply for a full-time position in asset management.

× Actually, I'm currently doing an internship at an investment company working in asset management department as a financial analyst.

✓ Actually, I'm currently doing an internship at an investment company, working in the asset management department as a financial analyst.

A comma is needed before 'working' to separate the clauses clearly and improve sentence flow.

× working in asset management department as a financial analyst.

✓ working in the asset management department as a financial analyst.

The definite article 'the' is required before 'asset management department' because it refers to a specific department.

× I really enjoy this is.

✓ I really enjoy this.

The phrase 'this is' is unnecessary and incorrect here; 'I really enjoy this' is the correct expression.

× because it's allows me to apply my knowledge of finance and learn more about managing investment.

✓ because it allows me to apply my knowledge of finance and learn more about managing investments.

The subject 'it' requires the verb 'allows' without 'is'. Also, 'investment' should be plural 'investments' to match the context.

× learn more about managing investment.

✓ learn more about managing investments.

'Investment' should be plural 'investments' because it refers to multiple financial assets.

× I answer it before I am working at investment company it's called investment company and I am work at asset management.

✓ I answered it before. I am working at an investment company called Investment Company, and I work in asset management.

The sentence needs to be split for clarity. 'Answer it before' should be past tense 'answered it before'. 'At investment company' requires an article 'an'. 'I am work' is incorrect; it should be 'I work'. Also, 'in asset management' is the correct preposition.

× I am analyzing market trends and managing investment portfolio.

✓ I am analyzing market trends and managing an investment portfolio.

The phrase 'investment portfolio' requires the indefinite article 'an' because it is singular and countable.

× So task task.

✓ So, these are my tasks.

The phrase 'So task task' is unclear and repetitive. It should be rephrased to clearly state the tasks.

× The absolutely it's good place to work.

✓ Absolutely, it's a good place to work.

'The' is incorrect here; it should be omitted. Also, 'a' is needed before 'good place'.

× This is mainly because I have a good team and a good environment and good counselors, so I am glad to work with them.

✓ This is mainly because I have a good team, a good environment, and good counselors, so I am glad to work with them.

Commas are needed to separate items in a list for clarity.

× Would you like the place where you work?

✓ Would you like the place where you work?

No correction needed; sentence is grammatically correct.

× Yes, absolutely. It's a good place to work because I have several teams and a positive environment.

✓ Yes, absolutely. It's a good place to work because I have a supportive team and a positive environment.

'Several teams' is unlikely; usually one works with a team. 'A supportive team' is more appropriate.

× The concerts are very helpful, which makes my job more enjoyable.

✓ The counselors are very helpful, which makes my job more enjoyable.

'Concerts' is a mispronunciation or typo; the correct word is 'counselors'.

× Overall, I feel happy and motivated working there.

✓ Overall, I feel happy and motivated while working there.

Adding 'while' improves the sentence flow and clarity.

× OK, actually I have many plans but I'm not sure to apply.

✓ OK, actually I have many plans but I'm not sure which to apply.

The phrase 'not sure to apply' is incomplete; it should specify what is not sure to apply.

× So I am seeking to improve my skills and I focus on and and and.

✓ So I am seeking to improve my skills and I focus on them.

The sentence is incomplete and repetitive; 'and and and' should be removed and completed properly.

× And simple a simple pass. What's it called?

✓ And simply a simple path. What's it called?

The phrase is unclear and incomplete; 'simple pass' likely intended as 'simple path' or 'simple plan'.