工作— Part 1 評分報告

建議: 你的回答语法和表达不够自然，句子结构混乱，信息表达不清晰。建议简化句子结构，明确表达专业和兴趣，避免语法错误。

範例: I am a student at a university in China, majoring in information technology. I enjoy my studies because I am fascinated by how technology can help people improve their health.

建議: 回答简洁明了，但可以更自然流畅。建议去掉口头语“umm”，并稍微扩展说明原因。

範例: I don't have a job because I am a full-time student focusing on my studies.

建議: 回答内容较好，但句子连接稍显生硬。建议使用连接词使表达更连贯，同时丰富细节。

範例: I don't have a job currently, so I am not familiar with any workplace. However, I believe a good workplace should have a friendly environment and supportive colleagues.

建議: 回答中有重复和语法错误，表达不够清晰。建议简化句子，避免重复，并明确表达观点。

範例: I don't have a job now, but if I worked in a friendly environment, I would enjoy my workplace.

建議: 回答内容与前文专业不符，且有重复词汇，表达不够清晰。建议明确职业目标，避免重复，并解释原因。

範例: In the future, I hope to work in healthcare because I am interested in how different treatments can help improve people's health.

× I am a student at home university of Chinese math where major information.

✓ I am a student at my home university majoring in Chinese mathematics and information.

句子结构混乱，缺少必要的介词和动词形式，导致表达不清。应使用动名词形式'majoring'表示正在学习的专业，并补充所有权代词'my'和连词，使句子完整通顺。

× I'm enjoying it because I fascinated by how many things help you people recover and improve their health.

✓ I'm enjoying it because I am fascinated by how many things help people recover and improve their health.

缺少系动词'am'，导致句子不完整。'fascinated'是形容词，前面需要有系动词。'you people'表达不自然，改为'people'更合适。

× I don't have a job umm because I'm a full time student.

✓ I don't have a job because I'm a full-time student.

'umm'为口语填充词，不适合书面表达，应去除。'full time'应连写为'full-time'作为复合形容词。

× I don't have a job at the moment so I'm not familiar with the workplace, but I think a good workplace should have a friendly environment.

✓ I don't have a job at the moment, so I'm not familiar with the workplace, but I think a good workplace should have a friendly environment.

复合句中连接词前应加逗号，保证句子结构清晰。

× I don't have a job as a woman, but if I I worked, if I were in a friendly environment, I would like the place where I work.

✓ I don't have a job as a woman, but if I worked in a friendly environment, I would like the place where I work.

句子中重复出现'I'，应删除多余部分。条件句结构应简洁，去除多余的'if'。

× I want to be a farmer in the future because I'm fascinated by how methods help people to improve their health and I enjoy learning about different different drugs.

✓ I want to be a farmer in the future because I'm fascinated by how methods help people improve their health, and I enjoy learning about different drugs.

'different different'重复，应去掉一个。'help people to improve'中不需要'to'，直接用动词原形。句子中缺少逗号，连接两个并列分句。