工作— Part 1 評分報告

建議: Your answer provides relevant information but contains grammatical errors and unclear phrases, such as "enter preneurship" and "so I can deal with my ex." To improve, focus on clear and correct sentence structure, avoid redundancy, and keep your answer concise within 5 sentences. Also, use linking words to connect ideas smoothly.

範例: I'm currently a student at Algonquin College, studying Business Management and Entrepreneurship. Additionally, I work part-time at Harvey's, a fast food restaurant, which helps me gain practical experience and improve my communication skills.

建議: Your answer is clear but could be more natural and fluent. Avoid repeating simple phrases like "Basically it is a fast food restaurant." Instead, combine sentences and add a bit more detail to make your response more engaging and coherent.

範例: I work at Harvey's, a fast food restaurant located in Brampton, Ontario. It's a popular local spot where I interact with many customers daily.

建議: Your answer shows good content but has grammatical mistakes and awkward phrasing, such as "customer in Earn" and "I don't have got so speak." To improve, use correct verb tenses and clearer expressions. Also, use linking words like "because" or "so" to connect your ideas logically.

範例: Yes, Harvey's is a good place to work because it allows me to interact with many customers every day. This experience has helped me understand the importance of communication, and now I feel confident speaking with customers directly.

建議: Your answer is detailed and relevant but contains some spelling errors and awkward phrasing like "becaused" and "comfort ubly." To improve, check your spelling and use more natural expressions. Also, try to link your sentences smoothly using words like "also" and "overall."

範例: Yes, I really like working at Harvey's because it has a spacious dining area where employees can relax and enjoy their meals comfortably. There is also a clean, well-equipped office for staff to take breaks. Overall, the workplace is well maintained and thoughtfully designed to meet employees' needs.

建議: Your answer provides relevant ideas but has grammatical errors and unclear phrasing, such as "business administrative?" and "enter in the line of business only." To improve, use correct verb forms and clearer expressions. Also, organize your answer with linking words like "because" and "so" to make it coherent.

範例: In the future, I am looking for a long-term job, such as a bank manager or a business administrator. Since I am currently studying Business Management and Entrepreneurship, I want to pursue a career in the business field.

× I additionally I am oh employee at Harveys, basically a fast food restaurant so I can deal with my ex.

✓ I am also an employee at Harvey's, which is basically a fast food restaurant, so I can deal with my experience.

The sentence contains pronoun errors such as 'I additionally I am oh employee' which is incorrect and unclear. 'oh' should be 'an', and 'ex' is likely a mispronunciation or typo for 'experience'. The pronouns and articles need correction for clarity and grammatical correctness.

× I am working at Harvest. Basically it is a fast food restaurant. It is located here in the Brampton, ON.

✓ I am working at Harvey's. Basically, it is a fast food restaurant. It is located here in Brampton, ON.

The name of the restaurant is 'Harvey's', not 'Harvest'. Also, 'the Brampton' is incorrect because 'Brampton' is a proper noun and does not require the definite article 'the'.

× Yes, Harvey's is a good place to work as it allows me to interact with a lot of customer in Earn.

✓ Yes, Harvey's is a good place to work as it allows me to interact with a lot of customers in a day.

The word 'customer' should be plural 'customers' because it refers to multiple people. Also, 'in Earn' is likely a mishearing or typo for 'in a day'.

× Earlier I don't have got so speak with the people but now I am that confident to speak with customer eye to eye.

✓ Earlier, I didn't have the chance to speak with people, but now I am confident to speak with customers eye to eye.

The phrase 'don't have got' is incorrect; the past tense negative form is 'didn't have'. Also, 'customer' should be plural 'customers' to match the context. The sentence structure is improved for clarity.

× Yes, I really like working at Harveys becaused it has very spacious dining area where the employees can relax and enjoy their meals comfort ubly.

✓ Yes, I really like working at Harvey's because it has a very spacious dining area where the employees can relax and enjoy their meals comfortably.

The restaurant name should be 'Harvey's'. 'Becaused' is a typo for 'because'. 'Comfort ubly' should be 'comfortably', an adverb modifying 'enjoy'. Also, 'a very spacious dining area' requires the article 'a' before 'very spacious dining area'.

× There is also a clean and well equipped office for the staff to take breaks.

✓ There is also a clean and well-equipped office for the staff to take breaks.

The phrase 'well equipped' should be hyphenated as 'well-equipped' when used as an adjective before a noun.

× Overall, the workplace is well maintained and thoughtfully designed to meet employees needs.

✓ Overall, the workplace is well maintained and thoughtfully designed to meet employees' needs.

The phrase 'employees needs' requires a possessive apostrophe to become 'employees' needs' to indicate that the needs belong to the employees.

× In future I'm looking for a long term jobs such as. Bank manager or business administrative?

✓ In the future, I'm looking for a long-term job such as a bank manager or business administrator.

'In future' should be 'In the future'. 'Long term jobs' should be singular 'long-term job' to match the examples given. 'Business administrative' is incorrect; the correct term is 'business administrator'. Also, the sentence structure is corrected for clarity.

× Becaused I am currently study business management and under preneurship so it is basically for the business.

✓ Because I am currently studying business management and entrepreneurship, it is basically for business.

'Becaused' is a typo for 'Because'. 'I am currently study' should be 'I am currently studying' to use the present continuous tense correctly. 'Under preneurship' should be 'entrepreneurship'. The sentence is rephrased for clarity.

× So I want to enter in the line of business only.

✓ So I want to enter the line of business only.

The preposition 'in' is unnecessary after 'enter'. The correct phrase is 'enter the line of business'. The sentence is corrected for proper preposition usage.